Appliance store: "Do not kill your husband. Let our washing machine do the dirty work"
Shopping mall tent: "Archery Tournament - Ear piercing"
Clothes shop: "Amazing discounts for men with 16 and 17 necks"
Men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits for $8. They won't last an hour!"
Country shop: "We buy the junk and sell the antiques"
Grocery store: "Why go somewhere else to be cheated when you can come here?"
Mortuary: "Ask about our layaway plans"
Church: "The last person please see that the perpetual light is extinguished"
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