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An American tourist was in Moscow for a week. He had to get rid of a large bag of garbage from his an apartment. He searched and searched, but didn't find any place to the large bag of garbage. Finally he decided to go down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer.
'Hey you, what are you doing?'
'Hello, I have to throw this garbage away,' answered the tourist.
'Oh, look, you can't throw it away here. Follow me,' the policeman offered.
He led the tourist to a beautiful garden with green grass, colorful flowers, and freshly cut hedges.
'Here you can dump it.'
The American shrugged and threw his large bag of garbage.
'Thank you officer. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?' asked the tourist.
'No. This is American Embassy.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A farmer and his wife went to the airshow. They were fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.
'One ride is five minutes and 15$,' answered the pilot.
'Oh, sorry, that's too much,' said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a second but then said, 'Let's make a deal. If you and your wife ride for five minutes in total silence, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you will have to pay 15$.'
The farmer and his wife happily agreed and went for a crazy wild ride.
'Congrats, for being five minutes in total silence, not making any sound. You are a brave man, my friend,' said the pilot after landing.
'Maybe I am,' replied the farmer, 'but I tell you, I almost screamed when my wife suddenly fell out.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The local guide organizes a hike, stating that it will be the best hike ever.
However, his party became desperately lost in the mountains and they blamed him for leading them to nowhere.
'You told us it would be the best hike ever, and you were the very best guide in Utah!' they argued.
'I am,' he replied, 'but I think we are in Idaho now.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

An expat dinner party was held at a restaurant near the Big Ben in London. Each of them ordered a glass of wine first, but when the wine arrived they noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in it.
The English guy demanded to have new wine in a new glass.
The Russian drank the wine, fly and all.
The Finnish guy picked the fly out of the wine and drank the wine.
The Swedish guy demanded to have new wine in the same glass.
The Norwegian took the fly and went off to fish for cod.
The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine.
Seeing this, the Jewish guy caught the fly and sold it to the Chinese.
The Roman guy drank two thirds of the wine and then demanded to have new wine.
The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in the wine, which he then donated to the English guy.
The American sued the restaurant and claimed for a 20 million dollar compensation for his mental suffering.
The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat and roared: "Now spit out all that you swallowed!"
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Four people are in an airplane: the smartest man in the world, the president, a young girl and an old man. The plane starts falling down. On board there are only three parachutes. The president gets the first and says, 'I cannot be a plane crash victim, my country needs me!' and jumps out.
The smartest man in the world grabs the second one and says, 'I cannot be a plane crash victim either, the world needs me, since I am the smartest!' and jumps out.
One parachute left for the young girl and the old man, so he says, 'You should take the last parachute.'
The girl says, 'No. We both can jump.'
'How?'
She replies, 'The smartest man in the world took my backpack!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

In the middle of Alaska the Air Force One crashed. The Secret Service immediately marched out to the point of the terrible plane accident. The airplane was totally destroyed, but there were no corpses. To their amazement, a long-bearded lumberjack appeared on his snowmobile, as if nothing happened. They surrounded the lumberjack.
'Sir, did you see this terrible plane accident happen?' the senior Secret Service agent asked.
'Yep, I did,' the lumberjack replied carelessly.
'Do you know that this is the plane of the President of the United States?'
'Yep, I know.'
'Have you seen any survivors?'
'Nope. They were all dead. I have just buried them. It took most of the morning.'
'The President of the United States is dead?' asked back the agent horrified.
'Well,' the lumberjack sighed, apparently wanting to get back to his work, 'he kept saying that he wasn't. But everyone knows what a big liar he is.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Mr. Peanut called a seaside hotel in Hastings to ask its exact location.
'We are only a stone's throw from the beach,' he was told.
'But how will I recognize your hotel?' asked Mr. Peanut.
'You will know. It is the seaside hotel with the broken windows.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The monastery was built high upon a cliff. The only access to reach it was by way of riding in a big bicker basket which was pulled up by several monks to the top. The ride over the rocky, sharp-edged terrain was steep, and in a big wicker basket was terrifying indeed. One brave visitor wanted go up. Roughly halfway he frightened and turned pale seeing that the rope by which they was being pulled was rather frayed and splitting. He frantically asked the monk who was seated next to him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
Thinking for a moment, the monk replied, 'Whenever it breaks.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The pilots and the cabin crew felt severe vibration during their intercontinental flight. The captain decided to make an emergency landing in Iceland, and switched on the seat belt sign. However, the vibration stopped immediately.
Everybody was confused until a passenger came out from a lavatory and admitted that he had been jogging in place to stay fit.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Due to my back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do some exercises. Once at a hotel, as I started my exercise, there was something under the bed. It was a small card, saying: "Yes, we clean under here, too."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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