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Travel Jokes

An elderly lady was sitting next to the Pope on an airplane. They were flying in a storm, above snowy mountain peaks, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. She was horrified so she turned to the Pope and asked, 'Father, can you do something about this?'
To which the Pope answered, 'Sorry, I am in sales, not in management.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

One weekend Henriett was the new scout leader of the Squirrel Squad. Her husband was ill, so she had to fill-in his place and go for her very first camping weekend.
As a new scout leader, she wanted to take care of everything, so she assigned different duties to each scout.
Luke was responsible for the maps and time schedules, Ian would be the cook, Frank was responsible for food supplies, and Henriett herself would pre-test all their equipment.
After arriving at the foot of the mountain, the new scout leader decided to eat something before the hike.
A few minutes later Ian the cook said, 'Henriett, look, I can't light a fire with the matches you brought.'
Henriett replied, 'Why, those matches should be okay. I had tested all of them!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

From a cruise ship, everyone can see a long-bearded man on a small, paradise island, who is shouting and desperately waving his hands.
'Who is he?' a passenger asks the captain of the cruise ship.
'I have no clue, but every summer when we pass, he goes nuts.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The flight was on the runway when it stopped and returned to the gate. After an hour long flight delay, it finally took off. A worried passenger asked the stewardess, 'What was the problem, why was this flight delayed?'
'The pilot heard a strange noise from the engine.' she explained. 'It was not easy to find a new pilot.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What happens to the green rock when you throw it in the Red Sea?
A: It will be wet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Choose the right motel for your stay and avoid those, where the mint on the pillow starts moving when you come close to it.
Check if the pictures are placed for decoration and not to cover up recent bullet holes.
You did not choose the right motel if you have to wait until the guy next door is done with the towel so you can use it.
Run if the receptionist has to move the body in order to get some ice for you.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

NASA was preparing for the mission to the moon. They did some astronaut training near the Navajo Indian reservation.
On their last day, a Navajo elder and his son came across the space crew.
The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question which his son translated, 'What are you doing in these big suits?'
A member of the crew replied, 'We are planning a mission to the Moon. We are practicing here.'
The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with them. The astronauts agreed and the old Navajo could send a voice message.
After the recording, they asked the son to translate the message. He refused.
The NASA crew then called in an official government translator. He could translate message: "Watch out for these guys, they will steal your land."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An Arab diplomat was visiting the U.S.A. for the first time. He was wined and dined by the State Department.
The Grand Emir was unused to the salty American foods, and from time to time he sent his manservant, Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water.
But after several rounds, Abdul came back empty-handed.
'Abdul, you sandy son of a bald camel, where is my glass of water?' demanded the Grand Emir.
Abdul said thousand pardons, felt miserable, and stammered, 'White man sit on well.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A 5-year-old boy broke the peace of the intercontinental flight. He cried and shouted for long minutes, made her mother embarrassed, who just could not calm him down. He continued to scream furiously and punched the seats around him. Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, an old man, wearing a uniform, walked forward to them. He leaned down to the boy and whispered something into his ear.
Instantly, the boy calmed down, fastened his seat belt and grabbed his mother's hand. All the other passengers relieved and applauded the man.
'Excuse me, General,' asked one stewardess, 'could I ask what you had told that little boy?'
'I showed him my service starts, my pilot's wings, my battle ribbons, and explained that they entitle me to throw any passenger out the door on any intercontinental flight I choose.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A vagabond in the Middle Ages found a roadside inn. It was the "Lancelot and the Dragon". As it was raining and he was hungry and exhausted, he entered.
'Good evening! Could you spare some leftover food?'
The innkeeper's wife looked at his dirty face, worn-out, muddy clothes and his shaggy hair.
'No way!' she shouted.
'Could I have a sip of beer?'
'No way!' she shouted again.
'Could I please sleep in your stable at least?' begged the vagabond.
'No way!' shouted again the innkeeper's wife.
'Please, can I ...?'
'What the heck?' interrupted the the woman, not allowing him to finish.
'... that can I have a word with Lancelot?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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