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One businessman took the train from Turin to Luxembourg. When he sat he said to the Italian ticket inspector, 'Good morning sir, please do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Basel. As I'm very tired and I'm sure that I will fall asleep soon, I want you to wake me up in Basel. I have to finish my business there, and it is very very important. Here you have 50 euros for this favor. I have to warn you, when people wake me up I become aggressive. No matter what I say or do you have to get me out of this train in Basel. Is that clear?'
The Italian ticket inspector is happily agreed and took the money. Later, as the businessman had said he fall asleep. When he woke up he realized that he was in Luxembourg. He was so mad at the Italian ticket inspector that he searched him and yelled at him furiously.
'Are you stupid or what??? I paid you 50 euros so that you wake me up in Basel. And you didn't! What on earth is the matter with you? I want my money back now!'
While the man was yelling, two other travelers were looking at them, and one turned to the other and said, 'Look at this guy! He is so mad!'
The other replied, 'Yes, indeed. He's almost as furious as the guy they made get out of the train in Basel.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were traveling by train through Hungary, when they saw a black sheep on a field.
'I see that Hungarian sheep are black,' said the engineer.
'Hmm,' said the physicist, 'I suppose you mean that some Hungarian sheep are black.'
'No,' said the mathematician, 'we only know is that there is at least one sheep in Hungary and at least one side of that one sheep is black!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I have a friend who is a Boeing 747 pilot.
I said, 'Hi Jack!'
He shot me.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

An old man was eating in a diner. Three wild motocross riders marched in. As they passed the old man, the first pushed his cigarette into the old man's boiled eggs, then laughed harshly and took a seat at the counter. The second motocross rider picked up the old man's milkshake and spit into it. The third poured the salt into his coffee before joining the others at the counter. Without saying a word to the laughing mob, the old man put his money down, and left the diner.
One of the riders said to the waitress, 'Not much of a man, was he?'
The waitress answered, 'Not much of a truck driver either apparently. He just went over three motorcycles with his truck!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A woman got on a bus holding her baby. The bus driver looked at them and blurted out, 'That is literally the ugliest baby I have ever seen in my life!'
Enraged, the woman dropped her fare into the fare box and took a seat in the back of the bus. The man seated next to her felt that something was wrong, so he tried to be polite.
'Did something bad happened?' he asked.
'Yes. The bus driver insulted me,' she replied sadly.
'He shouldn't insult passengers. He could be fired for that.' he said kindly.
'You are right,' she said, 'I will go to him and demand an apology!'
'Yes, good idea. Here, let me hold your monkey!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

An elderly lady was sitting next to the Pope on an airplane. They were flying in a storm, above snowy mountain peaks, and the plane was being rocked by some severe turbulence. She was horrified so she turned to the Pope and asked, 'Father, can you do something about this?'
To which the Pope answered, 'Sorry, I am in sales, not in management.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The monastery was built high upon a cliff. The only access to reach it was by way of riding in a big bicker basket which was pulled up by several monks to the top. The ride over the rocky, sharp-edged terrain was steep, and in a big wicker basket was terrifying indeed. One brave visitor wanted go up. Roughly halfway he frightened and turned pale seeing that the rope by which they was being pulled was rather frayed and splitting. He frantically asked the monk who was seated next to him in the basket how often they changed the rope.
Thinking for a moment, the monk replied, 'Whenever it breaks.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The flight was on the runway when it stopped and returned to the gate. After an hour long flight delay, it finally took off. A worried passenger asked the stewardess, 'What was the problem, why was this flight delayed?'
'The pilot heard a strange noise from the engine.' she explained. 'It was not easy to find a new pilot.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Due to my back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do some exercises. Once at a hotel, as I started my exercise, there was something under the bed. It was a small card, saying: "Yes, we clean under here, too."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

No flight ever leaves on time. Unless you are late.
If you are late, your flight will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.
If you arrive early for a flight, it will be delayed for sure.
Flights never ever leave from Gate no.1 at any terminal in the world.
If you will have the middle seat, you can determine who will sit next to you, while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two fattest passengers.
Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to go to the lavatory.
Beautiful women are never seated next to you on your flight.
In parallel, crying babies are always seated next to you.
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(So far it's 3.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

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