Sports Jokes

Q: Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So you can tell them apart from feminists.

Q: Why do women like making love to the Australian golfer, Greg Norman?
A: He always finishes second.

Once there was a guy that went skydiving. He jumped out of the plane, but soon discovered his parachute is torn.
His companion asked, 'Wanna race, buddy, eh?'

'Billy, I thought I told you to keep an eye on your little brother, where is he?' asked the father his son.
His son replied thoughtfully, 'Daddy, if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he is out canoeing then. Well, if he knows as much about canoeing as I think he does, he is out swimming.'

Ole went to the Olympic Games.
'Are you a pole vaulter?' turned a lady to him while sitting on a bench.
Ole replied, 'No, I am Norwegian and my name is not Valter.'

'Hey, you know what? I just got a new set of golf clubs for my wife!'
'Great trade!'

Q: What do you need to shoot in order to win a professional golf tournament?
A: Tiger Woods.

A man was hiking in Canada, when he spotted a shiny bottle in a small cave. He picked up the bottle, opened it, and to his surprise, a Genie popped out.
'Master, you have released me from this shiny bottle I was trapped in for centuries. I am happy to grant you three wishes! Ask anything!'
The man was thinking for a moment and said, 'I wish the The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series and The Toronto Raptors win the NBA title.'
The Genie was thinking about this for a moment and then jumped back into the shiny bottle.

Q: Why did the witch want to join the football club?
A: Because they were looking for a new sweeper.

A doctor, a priest and an engineer were waiting for a particularly slow group on the golf course.
'What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 20 minutes! This slow play on the golf course is unacceptable.' said the engineer.
'I don't know, but I've never seen such a slow play!' said the doctor.
'I'm gonna ask Hector, the caddie,' said the priest. So they went to him.
'Hey, Hector, what's with that slow group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
'Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our golf course and clubhouse from a fire last year, so they can play here for free anytime,' replied Hector.
The group was silent for a moment.
'That is so sad, I will say a special prayer for them tonight,' said the priest.
'I'm going to contact my friend, who is an ophthalmologist and see if there's anything he can do for them,' said the doctor.
'Why cannot they play at night?' asked the engineer.