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Sports Jokes

Q: Why did the witch want to join the football club?
A: Because they were looking for a new sweeper.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So you can tell them apart from feminists.
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Ole went to the Olympic Games.
'Are you a pole vaulter?' turned a lady to him while sitting on a bench.
Ole replied, 'No, I am Norwegian and my name is not Valter.'
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Papa Bear and Mama Bear had serious marital problems. They decided to divorce, and Baby Bear had to choose between them.
The judge asked him, 'Would you like to live with your father?'
Baby Bear replied, 'No, because Papa Bear beats me every day.'
'Okay, then do you want to live with your mother?'
'No, she beats me even more times.'
The judge was a bit confused and saddened hearing this. 'Well, you have to live with someone, and since your parents have marital problems they will divorce soon. Is there any relatives you would like to stay with?' he asked.
'Yes,' answered Baby Bear, 'with Bonnie Bear and Bobby Bear who live in Chicago.'
'Are you sure they will treat you well?' asked the judge.
'Oh, indeed,' replied Baby Bear, 'the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody.'
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'This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!' complained the golfer.
'This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago,' commented the caddie.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will rest in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Jack decided to take his boss, Frank to play 9 holes in their lunch break. While both men were playing excellent they were quite often held up by slow golfers, two women.
Jack offered to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up. He got about half of the way, but there stopped and jogged back. His boss asked what the problem was.
'So, turns out that I know the slow golfers. One of those women is my wife and the other my mistress,' admitted Jack.
Frank just shook his head at Jack and started toward the women determined to finish his round of golf. Soon he stopped, too, and turned around.
'What's wrong?' asked Jack.
Frank replied, 'It is a small world Jack, and you are fired!'
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Josh came to work on Monday and his colleagues asked him how his weekend was.
'I was playing golf on the weekend,' he answered.
'How was it? Did it go well?' they asked.
'I hit two of my best balls,' he replied.
'Tell us about it!'
'I stepped on a rake.'
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There were two fishing-enthusiasts in a boat under a bridge. They were fishing together on a Saturday morning, as always.
When a funeral procession went through the bridge, one of them looked up, stood up, took off his cap and bowed his head. After the procession crossed the bridge, the man put on his cap, picked up his rod and continued fishing.
'That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you,' said the other fishing-enthusiast.
The first replied, 'I guess it was the right thing to do. I was married to her for 44 years, after all.'
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The football team was about to finish their daily practice session when a large, feathered creature, a big turkey walked onto the field.
The players were more puzzled, when the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and then ran right through the defensive line.
When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 'You are awesome! Sign up for the season, please, and I will see to it that you get a huge bonus.'
The turkey replied, 'Forget the bonus. Does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
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