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Sports Jokes

Q: What do you need to shoot in order to win a professional golf tournament?
A: Tiger Woods.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The game of choice is basketball for unemployed people or maintenance level workers.
The game of choice is football for frontline employees.
The game of choice is tennis for middle management.
The game of choice is golf for executives and CEOs.
Summary: The higher you are in the hierarchy, the smaller your balls are.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was hiking in Canada, when he spotted a shiny bottle in a small cave. He picked up the bottle, opened it, and to his surprise, a Genie popped out.
'Master, you have released me from this shiny bottle I was trapped in for centuries. I am happy to grant you three wishes! Ask anything!'
The man was thinking for a moment and said, 'I wish the The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup, the Toronto Blue Jays win the World Series and The Toronto Raptors win the NBA title.'
The Genie was thinking about this for a moment and then jumped back into the shiny bottle.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Josh came to work on Monday and his colleagues asked him how his weekend was.
'I was playing golf on the weekend,' he answered.
'How was it? Did it go well?' they asked.
'I hit two of my best balls,' he replied.
'Tell us about it!'
'I stepped on a rake.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will rest in a boat and drink beer all day.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A: Because there was a face-off in the corner.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Papa Bear and Mama Bear had serious marital problems. They decided to divorce, and Baby Bear had to choose between them.
The judge asked him, 'Would you like to live with your father?'
Baby Bear replied, 'No, because Papa Bear beats me every day.'
'Okay, then do you want to live with your mother?'
'No, she beats me even more times.'
The judge was a bit confused and saddened hearing this. 'Well, you have to live with someone, and since your parents have marital problems they will divorce soon. Is there any relatives you would like to stay with?' he asked.
'Yes,' answered Baby Bear, 'with Bonnie Bear and Bobby Bear who live in Chicago.'
'Are you sure they will treat you well?' asked the judge.
'Oh, indeed,' replied Baby Bear, 'the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There were two fishing-enthusiasts in a boat under a bridge. They were fishing together on a Saturday morning, as always.
When a funeral procession went through the bridge, one of them looked up, stood up, took off his cap and bowed his head. After the procession crossed the bridge, the man put on his cap, picked up his rod and continued fishing.
'That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you,' said the other fishing-enthusiast.
The first replied, 'I guess it was the right thing to do. I was married to her for 44 years, after all.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A young guy, who was also a devoted golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one Sunday afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in seven holes before he had to go home.
Just as he was about to start, an old gentleman appeared and asked if he could accompany the young guy as he was golfing alone. He didn't want to say no, so he allowed the old man to join him. To his surprise, their game was quite fast.
Finally, they reached the seventh hole, where the young guy found himself with a tough shot. There was a high pine tree right between his ball and the seventh hole.
After a few minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old gentleman said, 'You know, I had hit the ball right over that pine tree when I was at your age.'
With that, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, but it smacked into the top of the pine tree and it stuck there.
'Of course, when I was at your age, that pine tree was only two feet tall,' commented the old gentlemen.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'If our parachute doesn't open, nor the reserve parachute, how long do we have until we hit the ground?' asked the beginner from the professional skydiving instructor, who always took the time to answer all the silly questions.
He gave his answer this time, too, 'The rest of your life.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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