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Sports Jokes

Q: If you have a UVA football player and a Virginia Tech football player in the same car at the same time, who drives?
A: The state trooper.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A: Because there was a face-off in the corner.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Top 10 Signs you aren't watching a real baseball game:

1. The hitter as the kid who sold you a hot dog a couple minutes earlier.
2. Every time a player slides into second, he busts his hip.
3. When umpire yells: "Strike 3!" the hitter looks at him as if the dude's speaking Greek.
4. They keep shouting: "Do over!"
5. They just can't scratch themselves like professionals.
6. First base: Siskel. Second base: Ebert.
7. Players constantly adjusting each other's cups.
8. You overheard the coach yelling: "Run, Forrest, run!"
9. They play like the Mets.
10.Game stops when some lady in a house near the stadium shouts: "Dinner time!"





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Josh came to work on Monday and his colleagues asked him how his weekend was.
'I was playing golf on the weekend,' he answered.
'How was it? Did it go well?' they asked.
'I hit two of my best balls,' he replied.
'Tell us about it!'
'I stepped on a rake.'
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'This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!' complained the golfer.
'This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago,' commented the caddie.
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He was strong, but such a brainless Thai fighter, that when he was driving to the airport and he saw the sign: "Airport Left", he turned around and went back home.
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A young guy, who was also a devoted golfer, found himself with a few hours to spare one Sunday afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in seven holes before he had to go home.
Just as he was about to start, an old gentleman appeared and asked if he could accompany the young guy as he was golfing alone. He didn't want to say no, so he allowed the old man to join him. To his surprise, their game was quite fast.
Finally, they reached the seventh hole, where the young guy found himself with a tough shot. There was a high pine tree right between his ball and the seventh hole.
After a few minutes of debating how to hit the shot, the old gentleman said, 'You know, I had hit the ball right over that pine tree when I was at your age.'
With that, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, but it smacked into the top of the pine tree and it stuck there.
'Of course, when I was at your age, that pine tree was only two feet tall,' commented the old gentlemen.
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Q: What is the difference between a snowwoman and a snowman?
A: Snowballs.
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Q: Why did the witch want to join the football club?
A: Because they were looking for a new sweeper.
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Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A: None of them has to catch anything to be happy.
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