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Sports Jokes

Frederick had been playing golf for five years, and he had the finest equipment. However, his technique never improved a bit.
As his friend, Rick, watched him playing, he promptly drove a brand new golf ball into the lake at the first hole.
He drove another new golf ball into the woods at the second hole.
He lost a new golf ball in another part of the woods at the third hole.
'Why don't you use an old ball?' Rick asked.
'I have never had an old ball,' replied Frederick.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!' complained the golfer.
'This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago,' commented the caddie.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

In case you don't succeed at first, skydiving is not for you.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Two old men, Sam and Brad, were sitting on a bench feeding pigeons.
'Do you think there's football in heaven?' asked Sam.
'I don't know. But let's make a deal! If I die first, I will come back and tell you if there's football in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.'
They agreed on it, but sadly, three months later, poor Sam died. One day soon afterward, Brad was sitting on the bench, feeding the pigeons by himself.
He suddenly heard a voice whispering, 'Brad! Brad!'
'Sam! Is that you?'
'Yes, yes,' whispered Sam's ghost.
'So, is there football in heaven?'
'Well,' started Sam, 'I have got good news and bad news.'
'I want to hear the good news first,' said Brad.
'Well, there is football in heaven.'
'That's just great! What news could be bad then?'
Sam sighed and whispered, 'You are the goalkeeper on Tuesday.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why are penguins the best race drivers?
A: Because they are always in the pole position.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The football team was about to finish their daily practice session when a large, feathered creature, a big turkey walked onto the field.
The players were more puzzled, when the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout. Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and then ran right through the defensive line.
When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, 'You are awesome! Sign up for the season, please, and I will see to it that you get a huge bonus.'
The turkey replied, 'Forget the bonus. Does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The game of choice is basketball for unemployed people or maintenance level workers.
The game of choice is football for frontline employees.
The game of choice is tennis for middle management.
The game of choice is golf for executives and CEOs.
Summary: The higher you are in the hierarchy, the smaller your balls are.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Do you know, what is the difference between a Norwegian and a tandem kayak?' Erik asked Mikkel.
'No, I don't know,' replied Mikkel.
'A tandem kayak will tip sometimes' explained Erik.
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A kind but a bit retarded soccer player died and went to heaven.
'There are too many people in heaven so you have to answer three questions to enter,' said St. Peter.
'Okay, no problem,' replied the soccer player.
'What two days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
'Today and tomorrow, it was easy.'
'Hmmm, I didn't think of that, this is not entirely correct, but I'll give it to you,' said St. Peter and continued, 'How many seconds are in a year?'
The soccer player replied, 'Twelve. January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc.'
'That wasn't what I was thinking, but I'll give it to you, however I feel again, that this is not entirely correct answer. But go for the last question, what is God's first name?'
'Howard,' came the reply.
'How on earth did you get Howard?' asked St. Peter in his surprise.
'Well, it's easy. Our father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'Billy, I thought I told you to keep an eye on your little brother, where is he?' asked the father his son.
His son replied thoughtfully, 'Daddy, if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he is out canoeing then. Well, if he knows as much about canoeing as I think he does, he is out swimming.'
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