Sports Jokes

Q: Why are penguins the best race drivers?
A: Because they are always in the pole position.

Frederick had been playing golf for five years, and he had the finest equipment. However, his technique never improved a bit.
As his friend, Rick, watched him playing, he promptly drove a brand new golf ball into the lake at the first hole.
He drove another new golf ball into the woods at the second hole.
He lost a new golf ball in another part of the woods at the third hole.
'Why don't you use an old ball?' Rick asked.
'I have never had an old ball,' replied Frederick.

Q: Why did the witch want to join the football club?
A: Because they were looking for a new sweeper.

Ole went to the Olympic Games.
'Are you a pole vaulter?' turned a lady to him while sitting on a bench.
Ole replied, 'No, I am Norwegian and my name is not Valter.'

Q: What is ugly and evil and bounces?
A: A witch on a trampoline.

In case you don't succeed at first, skydiving is not for you.

Josh came to work on Monday and his colleagues asked him how his weekend was.
'I was playing golf on the weekend,' he answered.
'How was it? Did it go well?' they asked.
'I hit two of my best balls,' he replied.
'Tell us about it!'
'I stepped on a rake.'

Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?
A: None of them has to catch anything to be happy.

Q: Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
A: So you can tell them apart from feminists.

Two old men, Sam and Brad, were sitting on a bench feeding pigeons.
'Do you think there's football in heaven?' asked Sam.
'I don't know. But let's make a deal! If I die first, I will come back and tell you if there's football in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.'
They agreed on it, but sadly, three months later, poor Sam died. One day soon afterward, Brad was sitting on the bench, feeding the pigeons by himself.
He suddenly heard a voice whispering, 'Brad! Brad!'
'Sam! Is that you?'
'Yes, yes,' whispered Sam's ghost.
'So, is there football in heaven?'
'Well,' started Sam, 'I have got good news and bad news.'
'I want to hear the good news first,' said Brad.
'Well, there is football in heaven.'
'That's just great! What news could be bad then?'
Sam sighed and whispered, 'You are the goalkeeper on Tuesday.'