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Sports Jokes

'This is the worst golf course I've ever played on!' complained the golfer.
'This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago,' commented the caddie.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why do women like making love to the Australian golfer, Greg Norman?
A: He always finishes second.
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Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man went to buy jogging shoes. To his surprise, there was a huge variety of them. While trying on a basic pair, he noticed a small but confusing feature, a pocket on the shoe. He and asked the clerk about it.
'Why is there a little pocket on the shoe, here on the side?'
'Oh, that's for spare change. When you jogged too far, you can call your wife to pick you up.'
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The game of choice is basketball for unemployed people or maintenance level workers.
The game of choice is football for frontline employees.
The game of choice is tennis for middle management.
The game of choice is golf for executives and CEOs.
Summary: The higher you are in the hierarchy, the smaller your balls are.
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Two old men, Sam and Brad, were sitting on a bench feeding pigeons.
'Do you think there's football in heaven?' asked Sam.
'I don't know. But let's make a deal! If I die first, I will come back and tell you if there's football in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.'
They agreed on it, but sadly, three months later, poor Sam died. One day soon afterward, Brad was sitting on the bench, feeding the pigeons by himself.
He suddenly heard a voice whispering, 'Brad! Brad!'
'Sam! Is that you?'
'Yes, yes,' whispered Sam's ghost.
'So, is there football in heaven?'
'Well,' started Sam, 'I have got good news and bad news.'
'I want to hear the good news first,' said Brad.
'Well, there is football in heaven.'
'That's just great! What news could be bad then?'
Sam sighed and whispered, 'You are the goalkeeper on Tuesday.'
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Q: If you have a UVA football player and a Virginia Tech football player in the same car at the same time, who drives?
A: The state trooper.
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He was strong, but such a brainless Thai fighter, that when he was driving to the airport and he saw the sign: "Airport Left", he turned around and went back home.
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A doctor, a priest and an engineer were waiting for a particularly slow group on the golf course.
'What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 20 minutes! This slow play on the golf course is unacceptable.' said the engineer.
'I don't know, but I've never seen such a slow play!' said the doctor.
'I'm gonna ask Hector, the caddie,' said the priest. So they went to him.
'Hey, Hector, what's with that slow group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
'Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our golf course and clubhouse from a fire last year, so they can play here for free anytime,' replied Hector.
The group was silent for a moment.
'That is so sad, I will say a special prayer for them tonight,' said the priest.
'I'm going to contact my friend, who is an ophthalmologist and see if there's anything he can do for them,' said the doctor.
'Why cannot they play at night?' asked the engineer.
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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish and he will rest in a boat and drink beer all day.
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Q: What do you need to shoot in order to win a professional golf tournament?
A: Tiger Woods.
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