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School Jokes

The schoolteacher spent the entire hour reading about the Cape buffalo to her class. After she finished, she said, 'It's your turn kids, name some things that are very dangerous to get near to and have horns!'
Little Ginny spoke up without any hesitation, 'Automobiles!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

A guy died and went to Heaven. Up there he was the third person in line at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter was taking his lunch break, so an other angel was admitting the newcomers into Heaven. Trying to be a little bit more strict, the angel ordered them to tell their former occupations and yearly salaries.
The woman, who was the first in line said, 'I was an actress. I earned $1,500,000 last year.'
The angel let her in.
The man behind her said, 'I earned $170,000 last year as a lawyer.'
The angel was thinking for minute, but then let him in as well.
The guy started, 'I only earned $9,000 last year...'
'Oh,' the angel interrupted, 'and tell me, what subject did you teach?'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

'Mum, Mum, some kid at school called me a sissy today!' complained the boy.
'And what did you do?' asked the mother.
'I hit him on the face with my purse!' replied the boy.
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

'Son, I am extremely worried about your final exam, you always being at the bottom of your class,' started the father.
'Do not worry Daddy,' replied the son, 'they teach the same thing at both ends.'
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

'If I give you a dollar,' quizzed the teacher, 'and you ask your father for two dollars, how much money will you have?'
'One dollar,' replied Penny.
'You don't know basic math, sweetheart,' said the disappointed teacher and shook her head.
Little Penny shook her head, too, and said, 'You don't know my daddy.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

After class one day, Mr. Fleck told Freddie, 'I have a feeling that you have been cheating on the history test.'
Freddie was surprised and asked Mr. Fleck to prove it.
'Well, I was looking over your test and the question was "Who was our first president?" and the little girl that sits next to you, Giselle, wrote "George Washington". And so did you.'
'Everyone knows that he was the first president'
'Wait a minute, the next question was "Who freed the slaves?" and Giselle wrote "Abraham Lincoln". And so did you.'
'Well, I remembered that,' said Freddie.
'Wait, wait, this is how I know that you are cheating on the history tests. The next question was "Who was president during the Louisiana Purchase?". Giselle wrote "I don't know". And you wrote "Me neither".'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Mr. Jenkins, the biology instructor at a fancy girl's junior college, asked during class, 'Miss Archibald, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under certain conditions, expands to six times its normal size? Also, define these conditions.'
Miss Archibald felt offended by this question and replied, 'Mr. Jenkins, I do not think that is a proper question to ask me. My parents will hear of this.'
With that she sat down red-faced. Mr. Jenkins called on Miss Hills and asked the same question with the same exact words.
Miss Hills replied, 'The organ of the human body is the pupil of the eye, in dim light.'
'That is correct,' said Mr. Jenkins approvingly. 'And now, Miss Archibald, here are three things for you. One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you did not study to your lesson. Three, you will face with huge disappointment some day.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The local high school had a strict rule on school attendance and absence. Parents had to call the school if a student is to be absent for the day. Judy decided to skip school one day. Instead, she wanted to go to the mall with her friends. She waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
'Hi, I'm calling to report that Judy is unable to go to school today. She is ill.'
'Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,' replied the school secretary, 'According to the school attendance and absence rule I have to fill in a form. Who is this calling?'
'This is my mother.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Little Robbie's second grade teacher was playing with the class an alphabet quiz.
'Robbie, what comes after "O"?' she asked.
Robbie replied, 'Yeah!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Maths teacher: Where is your homework?
Student: I lost it fighting this bully who said you weren't the best maths teacher in the school.
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

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