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School Jokes

Teacher asks the naughtiest boy in class, 'Tell me Frederick, why is the globe flattened only at the Poles and not anywhere else?'
Frederick replies, 'I did not do anything, I swear miss. The globe was in the same condition last year!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young female teacher started writing high up on the chalkboard. She wanted to make a list for her fifth grade students what to read for the next exam. Suddenly one boy giggled from the first row.
'What is so funny, Rick?' she asked.
'I just saw one of your garters!'
'Get out of my classroom,' she yelled, 'and I don't want to see you for two days!'
The teacher turned back to the chalkboard. Realizing she had forgotten to write the most important thing, she reached to the very top of the chalkboard. Suddenly there was an even louder giggle from another boy.
She quickly turned and asked, 'What is so funny, John?'
'I just saw both of your garters!'
The teacher yelled, 'Get out of my classroom! I don't want to see you for two weeks!'
Frustrated and embarrassed, she dropped the sponge when she turned around again. So she bent over to pick it up. This time there was a burst of laughter from another boy.
She quickly turned to see Daniel leaving the classroom.
'What is so funny? Danny, where do you think you are going?' she asked.
'From what I've just saw, I am pretty sure my school days are over!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

It was the first day of school after the summer vacation. As a school bus driver it was time to pick up the children and take them home. At the end, somehow one little girl remained on the bus. Thinking she had missed her stop, I started driving slowly back and asked her to let me know if any of the houses looked familiar. The girl sat smiling in the yellow school bus and shook her head whenever I asked her if she recognized a house. I decided to go back to the school and ask for her address. When we arrived, she got off the bus and started walking away.
'Wait! We have to go inside to find out your address!'
'I live right there,' she answered, pointing to a house across the street, 'but I always wanted a ride on a yellow school bus.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

'Son, I am extremely worried about your final exam, you always being at the bottom of your class,' started the father.
'Do not worry Daddy,' replied the son, 'they teach the same thing at both ends.'
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

Q: How many philosophers do you need to change the light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the light bulb, and the other not to change it.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A rather depressed student came home from school.
'What's the matter? You seem rather depressed,' said his mother.
'Oh, it's my marks. They're all wet,' he replied.
'What do you mean "all wet"?' asked the mother confused.
'I mean,' he answered, 'below C-level.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A university student was taking his final exams. He took his seat to answer the questions, and stared at the paper. Then he took his shirt off and threw it out of the window. Then he did the same with his pants, shoes and socks.
The teacher rushed to him and asked, 'Hey, what's going on?'
The university student replied, 'I'm only following the instructions on the paper. It states answer the questions in brief.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

- There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
- A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
- Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
- There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
- The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
- All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
- In most advertisements, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
- A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
- Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
- An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
- Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
Now I know everything!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A literature teacher often wrote short comments on student essays. She was working late one night, and as the time passed, her hand became tired.
The next day, after class, one of her students came to her and asked, 'I cannot make out these short comments you wrote on my paper.'
The teacher took the paper, and after staring at it for a minute, she replied, 'Oh, it says that you have to write more legibly!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A guy saw a beautiful girl in the university corridor, so he asked, 'Have you got any overdue library books? 'Cause, you got fine written all over you.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

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