Puns Jokes

A Mexican traveled to the USA. He spoke no English, but had to buy new socks. He walked into a small clothing store, and managed to convey to the shop assistant that he needs something, but not what.
The shop assistant had an idea and took down boxes and showed to the Mexican what was inside. Shirts, ties, hats, pants, but each time the Mexican shook his head and said, 'No.'
Finally, there was a box of socks.
The Mexican nodded vigorously, pointed to the box of socks and said, 'Eso sí que es!'
The shop assistant angrily blurted out, 'Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place???'

Q: What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?
A: It is all your fault.

A woman rushed into the Asian grocery store to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line to be quick, where the cashier was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
'Excuse me,' she said, 'I'm in a hurry. Can you check me out, please?'
The Asian grocery store's cashier looked her up and down carefully and smiled, 'Not bad.'

Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: Hamburglar.

Q: What is a cannibal breakfast?
A: Buttered host.

Q: What happens to Batman and Robin when they get hit by a tram?
A: They become Flatman and Ribbon!

Q: What you have to give to a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.

Never say anything about anybody until you walk a mile in his or her shoes. Because after, when you are a mile away, you have got the shoes, and you can say literally whatever the hell you want.

Q: How long does the chicken work?
A: Around the cluck.

Q: What did Shakespeare say when he went for toilet paper shopping?
A: 2-Ply or not 2-Ply? That is the question!