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Puns Jokes

Q: Have you heard about the farmer who crashed with a car in his tractor?
A: Yes, he plowed right into it.

Q: Have you heard about the cross-eyed teacher?
A: Yes, she couldn't keep her pupils under control.

Q: What is a Foul Ball?
A: A dance for chickens.

Q: Why couldn't Mozart find his piano teacher?
A: Because he was Hayden.

Q: What does the fish ask from the other fish in the tank?
A: Can you drive this thing?

Q: Have you heard about the two baby inkdrops? They missed their mother.
A: Yes, they were waiting for her to get out of the pen. They didn't know how long the sentence would be.

Q: What does the Buddhist say to a hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

'Doctor, Doctor! Please help me! I keep thinking I am a vampire!'
'Necks please!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

I just leave my friend's answering machine message here:
"I am only here in spirit at the moment, but if you leave your number and name, I will get back to you as soon as I am here in person."
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A girl walks into a grocery store in the city center and asks the shopkeeper if he has any nuts. The shopkeeper replies, 'No, madam.'
'And do you have any dates?' she asks.
The shopkeeper replies, 'Madam, if I had any nuts I would have dates.'
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(So far it's 3 point, based on 3 ratings)

"Have you heard about the new cheese tasting restaurant in Israel?"
"Yes, it's name is Cheeses of Nazareth."
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Q: Why did the witch feed the cat with coins?
A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What kind of fish do dogs catch?
A: Catfish.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why did the one-handed woman cross the road?
A: To enter the second hand shop.
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Q: What did Tennessee?
A: Whatever Arkansas.
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

We know that Columbus believed the world was round while others believed it was flat. Christopher Columbus never knew he was right.
We know that he reached an undiscovered continent we know as America now. Christopher Columbus never knew he was the first explorer.
Recently documents revealed what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage. The first words were: "I will bet I am the first man who ever got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon."
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