Puns Jokes

It had been a long day, and the seven Founding Fathers were sitting around a wooden table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution.
Father 1: Oh, don't you think that it is getting rather warm in here?
Father 2: Shall I open the windows?
Father 1: No, thank you. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.
Father 2: Hey, that's a good idea. Let's include that in the constitution.
Father 1: What? That we are allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves?
Father 2: Yes, but that does not sound very sophisticated. Maybe "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
A: There was some money in the kitty.

Q: What does the fish say when it hits a wall?
A: Dam!!!

A man walks into an elegant restaurant and sits down. As he bends down to get his wallet he farts loudly with the waitress right behind her. He sits up shamefully and looks for a way to escape the total embarrassment. So he looks at the waitress and shouts, 'Stop that!'
The waitress calmly replies, 'Sure Mister, which way did it go?'

Q: What did the horse say when he fell?
A: I've fallen and I can't giddy up!

Q: What happens to Batman and Robin when they get hit by a tram?
A: They become Flatman and Ribbon!

Q: Why is Russia a very fast country?
A: Because there the people are always Russian.

Q: What is the difference between an obese lady and a virgin?
A: One is tryin' to diet, the other dyin' to try it.

This Texas horse breeder had a filly. She won every race in which she was entered. Later, as the filly got older, she became very temperamental.
The Texas horse breeder found that when she raced in the evening, she won, but when she raced during the day she was the last one. He consulted the top horse psychologists and the best veterinarians.
But finally he had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

Q: Why did the witch feed the cat with coins?
A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty.