Puns Jokes

Q: Why does the blues musician like the untreated wooden cupboard?
A: Because it has a nice groove in it.

Two atoms are running down the road and they run into each other. One asks the other, 'Are you all right?'
'No, I've lost an electron!'
'Are you sure?'
'Yes, I am positive!'

It had been a long day, and the seven Founding Fathers were sitting around a wooden table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution.
Father 1: Oh, don't you think that it is getting rather warm in here?
Father 2: Shall I open the windows?
Father 1: No, thank you. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.
Father 2: Hey, that's a good idea. Let's include that in the constitution.
Father 1: What? That we are allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves?
Father 2: Yes, but that does not sound very sophisticated. Maybe "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"

Q: What is the name of the flower you find between your chin and and nose?
A: Two lips.

Q: What is the season to be on a trampoline?
A: Spring-time.

Q: What kind of money do fishermen make?
A: Net profits.

Q: Where does the lizard go when it loses its tail?
A: It goes to the retail store.

Never say anything about anybody until you walk a mile in his or her shoes. Because after, when you are a mile away, you have got the shoes, and you can say literally whatever the hell you want.

The night before Christmas the family went early to sleep. They were suddenly awakened by an explosion in the middle of the night. They ran outside and saw the outside toilet in a million pieces, with Santa Claus in the middle. He was shaking his fist at Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer: 'You silly reindeer of mine! I said the SCHMIDT house!'

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
A: There was some money in the kitty.