Puns Jokes

A Mexican traveled to the USA. He spoke no English, but had to buy new socks. He walked into a small clothing store, and managed to convey to the shop assistant that he needs something, but not what.
The shop assistant had an idea and took down boxes and showed to the Mexican what was inside. Shirts, ties, hats, pants, but each time the Mexican shook his head and said, 'No.'
Finally, there was a box of socks.
The Mexican nodded vigorously, pointed to the box of socks and said, 'Eso sí que es!'
The shop assistant angrily blurted out, 'Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place???'

Q: Do you know what DNA stands for?
A: National Association of Dyslexics

Q: What do you have if there are 50 rabbits in a row and 49 take a step back?
A: Receding hare line.

Q: What did Shakespeare say when he went for toilet paper shopping?
A: 2-Ply or not 2-Ply? That is the question!

Q: What does one wall say to the other wall?
A: I will meet you at the corner.

'Doctor, Doctor! Please help me! I keep thinking I am a vampire!'
'Necks please!'

Q: On what should you put the statue of your cat?
A: On a caterpillar.

Q: What kind of money do fishermen make?
A: Net profits.

A woman rushed into the Asian grocery store to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line to be quick, where the cashier was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
'Excuse me,' she said, 'I'm in a hurry. Can you check me out, please?'
The Asian grocery store's cashier looked her up and down carefully and smiled, 'Not bad.'

A man walks into an elegant restaurant and sits down. As he bends down to get his wallet he farts loudly with the waitress right behind her. He sits up shamefully and looks for a way to escape the total embarrassment. So he looks at the waitress and shouts, 'Stop that!'
The waitress calmly replies, 'Sure Mister, which way did it go?'