Puns Jokes

Q: Why did the one-handed woman cross the road?
A: To enter the second hand shop.

"Have you heard about the new cheese tasting restaurant in Israel?"
"Yes, it's name is Cheeses of Nazareth."

Q: What does the Gingerbread Man have on his bed?
A: Cookie sheets.

The National Art Gallery wanted a temporary Van Gogh exhibition with some background information about the Van Gogh family. They discovered that the artist, Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives.

Among them were:

The grandfather from Yugoslavia: U Gogh
His annoying brother: Please Gogh
The brother who bleached all his clothes white: Hue Gogh
The bird watcher uncle: Flamin Gogh
The uncle who ate prunes: Gotta Gogh
The constipated uncle: Cant Gogh
The fruit loving cousin: Man Gogh
His Mexican cousin: Amee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother: Grin Gogh
His Italian cousin: Day Gogh
The cousin from Illinois: Chica Gogh
His psychoanalyst nephew: E Gogh
His magician nephew: Wheredidy Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt: Tan Gogh
A sister who loved disco: Go Gogh

Q: Why did the ghost want to go to the funfair?
A: He wanted to go on a rollerghoster.

The night before Christmas the family went early to sleep. They were suddenly awakened by an explosion in the middle of the night. They ran outside and saw the outside toilet in a million pieces, with Santa Claus in the middle. He was shaking his fist at Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer: 'You silly reindeer of mine! I said the SCHMIDT house!'

Q: What's a Zebra?
A: The Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than the A-bra.

Q: What is a cannibal breakfast?
A: Buttered host.

Q: What do you get if you cross Al Capone and Dracula?
A: A fangster.

Q: What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
A: There was some money in the kitty.