Puns Jokes

Q: How Angels greet each other?
A: Halo there!

Q: What kind of birds spend all the time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey.

We know that Columbus believed the world was round while others believed it was flat. Christopher Columbus never knew he was right.
We know that he reached an undiscovered continent we know as America now. Christopher Columbus never knew he was the first explorer.
Recently documents revealed what Columbus actually said on returning from his first voyage. The first words were: "I will bet I am the first man who ever got nineteen hundred miles on a galleon."

Q: What does the fish say when it hits a wall?
A: Dam!!!

A Mexican traveled to the USA. He spoke no English, but had to buy new socks. He walked into a small clothing store, and managed to convey to the shop assistant that he needs something, but not what.
The shop assistant had an idea and took down boxes and showed to the Mexican what was inside. Shirts, ties, hats, pants, but each time the Mexican shook his head and said, 'No.'
Finally, there was a box of socks.
The Mexican nodded vigorously, pointed to the box of socks and said, 'Eso sí que es!'
The shop assistant angrily blurted out, 'Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place???'

Q: What do you call a pig thief?
A: Hamburglar.

Q: What did Tennessee?
A: Whatever Arkansas.

Q: Which object has four wheels and flies?
A: Garbage truck.

The night before Christmas the family went early to sleep. They were suddenly awakened by an explosion in the middle of the night. They ran outside and saw the outside toilet in a million pieces, with Santa Claus in the middle. He was shaking his fist at Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer: 'You silly reindeer of mine! I said the SCHMIDT house!'

One day, Brutus Bunny was hopping through the field, snatching all the voles and peck them.
The good fairy appeared, and told him, 'Little Brutus Bunny, this is evil! Stop it, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!'
Brutus Bunny just laughed.
The next day, Brutus Bunny was again hopping through the field, snatching all the voles and peck them.
The good fairy appeared again, and repeated, 'Little Brutus Bunny, this is evil! Stop it, I say, or Mother Nature will turn you into something gooney!'
Brutus Bunny just laughed again.
The next day, Brutus Bunny was still hopping through the field, snatching all the voles and peck them.
This day Mother Nature appeared. And BAMMM, Brutus Bunny was turned into an ugly goon, so he would never to terrorize voles again.
What is the moral?
Hare today, goon tomorrow.