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Pre-Flight Safety Briefing

Read some pre-flight safety briefing quotes, to keep on mind:

"There may be 30 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 6 ways out of this aircraft."

"Should the cabin lose air pressure, oxygen masks will fall off from the overhead area. Place the mask over your own nose and mouth before assisting children or adults acting like children."

"As we prepare for the take-off, please make sure your seat backs and tray tables are fully upright. In their most uncomfortable position."

"Last one off the plane have to clean it."

"Weather at our destination is 40 degrees with some broken clouds. They will try to have them fixed before we arrive."

"Thank you for flying with us, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Northern Airlines."

"We do have a smoking section. If you must smoke during the flight, contact a member of the flight crew and we will escort you to the wing of the plane."

"Folks, we have reached our flight altitude now. I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the airplane till we land, it is a bit cold outside."

On one particular flight the pilot had dropped his plane onto the runway really hard. The airline's policy required the first officer to stand at the door, smiling, while the passengers exited. He had a hard time looking into the passengers' eyes.
Finally everyone had gotten off, except for one elderly lady. She asked, 'Mind if I ask you something? Did we land or were we shot down?'

After a windy and bumpy landing, the stewardess announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Michigan. Please stay calm in your seats with your seatbelts fastened, while the taxi takes the Captain far from the airport."

"As you exit the plane, please gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave spouses or children."
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