Political Jokes

'My brother ran for Senate last year.'
'Really? And what does he do now?'
'Nothing. He got elected.'

Q: How do ethnic jokes start?
A: By looking over your shoulder.

The lawyer was reading out the testament of a rich politician to the people mentioned in that.
"To my loving wife Gerda, who stood by me in the best and worst times, the house and $5 million."
"To my daughter Rebecca, who looked after me in illness and kept the political party going, the new yacht, the party leadership and $2 million."
"And to my cousin Ken, who hated me, and went against my party, who argued with me and thought I wouldn't mention him in my testament, hey, you were wrong: Hello Ken!"

A British and an American journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio program last year.
'Is Thanksgiving celebrated in the UK, too?' asked the American.
'Yes, we have a UK-style Thanksgiving,' the British replied, 'we celebrate it on the 6th of September.'
'Why then?'
'That's when you chaps left, that's why!'

Q: What did Saddam want for Thanksgiving?
A: Turkey.

Aladdin, Prince Charming, and Don Juan are sitting around a table discussing who the greatest person in the world is.
Aladdin says that he is the most sympathetic because he freed Genie.
Prince Charming says that he is the greatest person in the world because he is the most devoted prince in the world.
Don Juan says that he is the greatest because he has loved the most women in the world.
So they go and ask the wise man who is the greatest person in the world. They agree to go in alone. Like this, they won't be embarrassed in front of the others.
Aladdin goes in first and comes out smiling. He says that he truly is the most sympathetic person in the world.
Prince Charming goes in, and also comes out smiling. He says that he truly is the most devoted person in all the world.
Don Juan goes in last but when he comes out he is very upset. He asks, 'Who the hell is Bill Clinton?!?'!

Philip, the ambassador's most trusted butler, died in his sleep one night. The ambassador had asked Morris for advice on almost every subject, from suit colors to pending bills. Actually, Philip had been his closest friend.
So the ambassador was not happy at all when the vulture-like, ambitious office seekers appeared to apply for Philip's position.
'They don't even have the patience to wait until the man is buried!' the ambassador said sadly.
One of these ambitious office seekers made his way to the ambassador's side at the funeral, and asked, 'Is there a chance that I could take Phillip's place?'
The ambassador replied, 'I am sure, but the undertaker is almost finished, so hurry up!'

Q: Why doesn't Bush eat parrots?
A: Because of a little thing - cannibalism.

My neighbor asked me on his grill party why I was such a dedicated republican.
'My father and grandfather were republicans. I am carrying on the family tradition of being a dedicated republican.'
'Is that your reason?' said my angry neighbor, 'What if your father and grandfather had been chicken thieves?'
'Then I'd be a democrat like you, I guess.'

The politician heard that most people are murdered within 15 miles of their home. So he made a political movement and moved.