Police Jokes, Police Joke
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Police Jokes

A man was in no shape to drive after they had a Christmas party at the office. So he wisely decided to leave his car parked and walked home. As he was walking along with uncertain steps, a policeman stopped him.
'What are you doing out here at 3 a.m.?' asked the policeman.
'We had a Christmas party at the office, now I am going to a lecture,' replied the man.
'And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?' asked the policeman.
'My wife,' replied said the man.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A backpacker was travelling by bus from Quito to Santo Domingo. He decided to chat with his seat mate.
'Hey, I have some really funny policeman jokes. Would you like to hear them?'
'Mister, before you tell me really funny policeman jokes, I warn you that I am a policeman.'
'That is okay, then I will tell them really slow!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man went to the police station. He wanted to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
'You will have the opportunity in court,' said the officer.
'No, no, I want to know now how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for long years!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An anxious wife went to the police station, escorted by her neighbor. They reported that her husband was missing. The policeman asked for a description of the man who disappeared.
The wife started, 'He is 37 years old, 7-foot 2-inches, has blue eyes, blond wavy hair, an athletic build, weighs 190 pounds, is sophisticated, likes water sports, and is a good father.'
The neighbor objected, 'Marie, your husband is 4-foot 9-inches, bald and plump, he dropped from university and barely plays with children.'
The wife said, 'Yes, yes, but who wants to get HIM back?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A new man was brought to the cell. There was sitting a bearded prisoner, who seemed to be at least 100 years old. The new man looked at the old man with a curious face.
'Look at me. I'm worn out and feeling older than I really am,' he started. 'I used to live the life of Riley, you cannot imagine. I wintered on the French Riviera, had a sailboat, five luxury cars, the most beautiful chicks, and I ate in all the best restaurants.'
The new man asked, 'I could never live the life of Riley, what happened to you?'
'One day Riley reported to the police that his credit cards are missing!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A Swiss guy visited Canberra, Australia. He was at a bus stop where two Aussie cops are waiting. 'Entschuldigung, können Sie Deutsch sprechen?' he asks.
The two Aussie cops stared at him in silence.
'Excusez-moi, parlez-vous francais?' he tried.
The two continued to stare.
'Scusa, parlo italiano?'
Nothing.
'Hablan ustedes Espanol?'
Still nothing.
The Swiss guy went away, extremely disappointed. The first Aussie cop turned to the second and said, 'Y'know, we should learn a foreign language.'
'Why?' asked the other. 'That guy spoke four languages, and it didn't do him any good.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was driving home late one evening, and he was driving well above the speed limit. A police car chased him with red lights and siren turned on. The driver was sure that he could outrun the cop. So the cars started a race on the highway. Finally, as the speedometer passed 100, the man gave up. He pulled over to the curb. The cop got out of his car and approached the man.
'Listen dude, I've had a really hard day. I just want to go home. Give me a very good excuse and I will let you go.'
The man was thinking for a moment and said, 'Two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a cop. When I saw the police car chasing me, I thought that you were that cop and that you were trying to give her back to me!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A middle-aged woman was driving through a school zone in the suburbs. The policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she asked, 'Why do I always get a ticket? Everyone else only gets a warning. Is it my face...?'
The policeman replied, 'No, it is your foot.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was caught for exceeding the speed limit and stood in front of the judge who asked, 'What will you take....35 days or $35?'
The man chose, 'I think I'll take the money.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two guys were walking along a road in the hills. Suddenly a police car struck them. It was driven by a drunken cop. The first guy was hit and he guy rolled down into the woods. The second guy was thrown through the windshield.
The drunken cop took action. The first guy was charged with leaving the scene of an accident and the second with breaking and entering.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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