Police Jokes, Police Joke
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Police Jokes

I was walking down a quite dark alley last night, when I heard a strange noise.
'Help! Help!' screamed and old lady into the night.
I saw that two robbers were trying to steal the old lady's handbag, but she was fighting fiercely.
I wondered if I should get involved, or simply keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything.
But finally I decided that I should help. It didn't take the three of us very long to get the old lady's handbag.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A backpacker was travelling by bus from Quito to Santo Domingo. He decided to chat with his seat mate.
'Hey, I have some really funny policeman jokes. Would you like to hear them?'
'Mister, before you tell me really funny policeman jokes, I warn you that I am a policeman.'
'That is okay, then I will tell them really slow!'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two monks were riding extremely fast on a motorbike. They were promptly stopped by a policeman.
He asked, 'What do you think you are doing? What if you have an accident?'
The monks answered, 'Don't worry, Jesus is with us.'
The policeman said, 'In that case, I have to fine you. Three people are never allowed to ride on a motorbike.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

A cop was rushed to the hospital with appendicitis symptoms. The doctors operated him quickly. However, the cop kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried about that this is still an appendicitis symptom, he finally got enough strength to walk to the mirror and pull his hospital gown. He saw four wide adhesive tapes, the ultra sticky kinds. Written in red letters was the sentence, 'Get well soon! From Sarah with love, the nurse who got a parking fine from you last week!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two burglars were doing their shady business in a hotel room.
The first one said, 'Hey, I hear sirens. Let's jump!'
The second one replied, 'Hey, we are on the 13th floor!'
The first one was impatient, '13th floor, 13th floor, this is not time of being superstitious!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An American sales representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
'In the US anyone can pick up any phone and dial 911. This records the call and connect them with the police,' started the American sales representative.
The Russian replied, 'In Russia there is no need to dial anything.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was driving home late one evening, and he was driving well above the speed limit. A police car chased him with red lights and siren turned on. The driver was sure that he could outrun the cop. So the cars started a race on the highway. Finally, as the speedometer passed 100, the man gave up. He pulled over to the curb. The cop got out of his car and approached the man.
'Listen dude, I've had a really hard day. I just want to go home. Give me a very good excuse and I will let you go.'
The man was thinking for a moment and said, 'Two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a cop. When I saw the police car chasing me, I thought that you were that cop and that you were trying to give her back to me!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A talented cop responded to a report of a disturbance happening in a bar. As he arrived it turned out that a drunk seven-foot-tall man was japing around and boasted that he could beat up any cage fighters and all the cops, too.
'I bet you are also an escape artist. Maybe better than Houdini?'
The giant, hefty man nodded.
'If I had some chains you could show us how strong you really are, couldn't you?' asked the talented cop. 'But all I have got is a set of handcuffs,' he continued. 'Why don't you show us how quickly you can break out of them?'
Once in the cuffs, the man pushed, pulled and jerked for minutes.
'I can't get out of these,' the giant blurted.
'Really? Are you sure?' the talented cop asked.
The fellow tried again, 'No, I just can't.'
'In that case you are under arrest.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man went to the police station. He wanted to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
'You will have the opportunity in court,' said the officer.
'No, no, I want to know now how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for long years!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The elderly couple was celebrating their fifty-fifth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts. They had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked back to their old elementary school. It was open, so they entered. They found the old desk they had shared, where Mick had carved "I love you, Ginny."
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored truck, landing right in front of them.
Ginny quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took the bag of money home. There she counted, it was exactly sixty-thousand dollars.
Mick said, 'We've got to give it back.'
'Finders keepers!' said Ginny and hid it in the attic.
The next day, two FBI agents were investigating the neighborhood, looking for the bag of money. They knocked on their door.
'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored truck yesterday?' they asked.
Ginny replied quickly, 'No.'
Mick interrupted, 'She's lying, she hid it up in the attic.'
Ginny argued, 'Oh, please, don't believe him, he's getting old and senile.'
The agents turned to Mick and began to question him.
'Tell us the story, from the beginning.'
Mick started, 'Well, when Ginny and I were walking home from school yesterday...'
The first FBI agent turned to his partner and said, 'Okay, let's go now.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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