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Police Jokes

A motorist got a letter, including a picture of him speeding on the main road, and a $50 speeding ticket. As an answer the motorist sent a picture of $50 to the police department.
The police department responded with another letter, including a picture of handcuffs.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A defense attorney was interrogating a police officer on a trial.
'Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
'No, but I observed a person matching the description of the offender.'
'Officer, who provided this description?'
'The officer who was on the scene.'
'So, a fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Officer, do you trust your fellow officers?'
'Yes sir, with my life.'
'With your life? Let me ask you something. Do you have a locker room in the police station? A room where you change your clothes?'
'Yes sir, we do.'
'And do you have a personal locker in that room?'
'Yes sir, I do.'
'Officer, do you have a lock on your locker?'
'Yes, I have.'
'If you trust your fellow officers with your life, why do you find it necessary to have a locker room to lock your locker, if you share with those officers?'
'You know, the building is shared with a court complex. Sometimes defense attorneys walk through that room.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A salesman was too tired of his job, so he gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, one of his friends asked him how he liked his new role after the burnout.
'Well,' he answered, 'the salary is not bad, the hours are good, and what I really like is that the customer is always wrong.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Little Louis was lost in the city zoo. He went to a policeman and said, 'Officer, I have lost my dad!'
The policeman asked, 'What's he like?'
Little Louis answered, 'Beer and women.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

On a stormy, rainy day a man gets pulled over for speeding. The police officer says, 'Hey, isn't it stupid to be driving so fast in this ugly weather?'
The driver says, 'Excuse me, but who is stupid? You are the one who is standing out in the rain.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'I am afraid that I am going to have to lock you up for the night,' said the policeman to the drunk man in elf costume.
'What's the charge?' he growled.
'Oh, there isn't any charge. It is all part of the service.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One Saturday night the policeman spotted a man driving dangerously through the streets of Paris. He pulled the man over and asked him if he had been drinking that evening.
'Oh, yes, you know, me and my friends stopped by the bar where I had some glasses of red wine. And then there was "Happy Hour" and they served these wine cocktails, which I had to try. I had three of them, I guess. Then I had to drive my friend, Luc, home and he has this crazy new blue wine, so I had to taste it. Then I stopped on the way home to get one bottle of this blue wine for later...'
The officer sighed, and said, 'Sir, I need you to step out of the car and take a breathalyzer test.'
Bitterly, the man asked back, 'Why? Don't you believe me?!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was driving home late one evening, and he was driving well above the speed limit. A police car chased him with red lights and siren turned on. The driver was sure that he could outrun the cop. So the cars started a race on the highway. Finally, as the speedometer passed 100, the man gave up. He pulled over to the curb. The cop got out of his car and approached the man.
'Listen dude, I've had a really hard day. I just want to go home. Give me a very good excuse and I will let you go.'
The man was thinking for a moment and said, 'Two weeks ago, my wife ran off with a cop. When I saw the police car chasing me, I thought that you were that cop and that you were trying to give her back to me!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

This drunk fellow was stumbling down the street with one foot on the sidewalk and one foot in the ditch.
A policeman pulled him up and said, 'Sir, I'm gonna take you in. You are drunk, you cannot deny it.'
The wasted fellow asked, 'Uhm, officer, are you sure I'm drunk...?'
'Yes, buddy,' he said, 'I am totally sure about that. Let's go.'
'Oh, that's a huge relief, you know. I thought I was a cripple.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The police officer said, 'Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.'
The dog owner replied, 'Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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