Other Jokes, Other Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesOther Jokes

Other Jokes

Three old ladies were talking in the hall of a retirement home. The first lady said, 'You know, I have serious memory problems. Today I was standing at the bottom of the stairs and I could not remember if I was just about to go up or if I had just come down.'
'Oh, that is literally nothing!' said the second lady. 'I have more serious memory problems. Yesterday I was sitting on the edge of my bed, wondering if I was going to sleep or if I had just gotten up.'
The third lady smiled at the other two and started, 'Well, my memory is just as good as ever, no problems, knock on wood.' She knocked on the table three times with her finger. Then she looked around and asked, 'Who's there?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why does not blind people enjoy skydiving?
A: It scares the heck out of the dog.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Here is a list of Valentine's Day gifts and their meaning. Use it wisely.

1. A heartfelt poem:
You are a romantic, a cultured person who recognizes the beauty and power of the written word, your handwriting expresses your loving soul.
OR: You are used to cheap gifts and like to pass yourself off as a cultured person who recognizes the beauty and power of the written word.

2. A box of candy:
You are a sweet person who enjoys traditional gifts and hopefully likes to share.
OR: You're a selfish chocoholic who values sugar high over everything, even true love and health.

3. Flower bouquet:
You love the scent of flowers, beauty of nature and appreciate this timeless romantic gesture.
OR: You get some twisted satisfaction out of watching vegetation wither and die.

4. Dinner and dance
You enjoy the romantic setting of fine cuisine and candlelight and the company of the significant other.
OR: You are easy to please and probably willing to sell your body for food and a few quick turns on the dance floor.

5. Waffle iron
You are a practical person who believes in gifts that you can actually use.
OR: You have absolutely no idea of what gift-giving is all about and probably have some sort of deviant fetish involving household appliances.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's Day?' asked the Boy Monster.
'Yes, I did,' replied the Girl Monster.
'Is it still beating?' asked the Boy Monster.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

What happens when people of different occupations get old?
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Old actors never die, they just drop apart.
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.
Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.
Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.
Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
Old drivers never die, they just lose their drive.
Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.
Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
Old car mechanic never die, they just retire.
Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Old hippies never die, they just smell that way.
Old investors never die, they just roll over.
Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.
Old knights in chain mail never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils.
Old laser physicists never die, they just become incoherent.
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Old limbo dancers never die, they just go under.
Old mathematicians never die, they just disintegrate.
Old musicians never die, they just get played out.
Old owls never die, they just don't give a hoot.
Old pacifists never die, they just go to peaces.
Old professors never die, they just lose their class.
Old photographers never die, they just stop developing.
Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.
Old policemen never die, they just cop out.
Old printers never die, they're just not the type.
Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.
Old schools never die, they just lose their principals.
Old seers never die, they just lose their vision.
Old sailors never die, they just get a little dingy.
Old soldiers never die. Young ones do.
Old steelmakers never die, they just lose their temper.
Old students never die, they just get degraded.
Old typists never die, they just lose their justification.
Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Funny Advices for Valentine's Day:

1. Do not give the exact same Valentine's Day card you gave your partner last year.
2. Never buy the wrong brand/size of anything.
3. Remember to wear clean underwear.
4. Never buy your partner household appliances for Valentine's Day.
5.Do not tell your date you forgot your wallet - again.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Be careful, because below things are NOT considered as Valentine's Day Gifts:

1. Cash
2. Gift card
3. Anything you could have bought at the gas station on your way - even if you did not.
4. A box of chocolates, rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the liquor-filled ones.
5. A look and the words: "Oh honey, that was today?"
6. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop or even worse, a mortuary's.
7. Any food item with the words on the label: diet, light, high fiber.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One benefit of getting older is that your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
One benefit of getting older is that kidnappers aren't very interested in you.
One benefit of getting older is that your secrets are safe with your friends because they cannot remember them either.
One benefit of getting older is that your eyes won't get much worse.
One benefit of getting older is that no one expects you to run into a burning building.
One benefit of getting older is that there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
One benefit of getting older is that your joints are more precise than the National Weather Service.
One benefit of getting older is that in a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When sign makers go on strike, what kind of picket signs they have?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter. Nobody listens.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

What not to say on a Valentine's date:

- It has been tough, but I have come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am.

- I really feel that I have grown in the past few months. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.

- I never said you need a nose job... I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it.

- I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.

- I used to come here all the time with my ex.

- I know you said you don't eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask kindly.

- Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Next 10 Other Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Little White Goat
2)Chinese Laundry
3)Large Bag of Garbage
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Loan Officer
6)Don't Drive in Texas
7)Sculptures on Display
8)The Boss
9)Between Us
10)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!