Office Jokes, Office Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesOffice Jokes

Office Jokes

Honest cover letter can be your thing. It is not so bad being honest, after all. Don't be afraid to include these into your motivation letter:

1. It is the best for employers that I do not work with people.
2. Let's meet in person, so you can say "Oooh" and "Aaah" over my experience.
3. Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details ever.
4. Marital status: Single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments!
5. I procrastinate. Especially when the job is unpleasant.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

At the end of the job interview, the interviewer asked the graduate "And what is your starting salary expectation?"
The candidate said, "Well, my salary expectation is around $130,000 a year, depending on the fringe benefits."
The interviewer replied, "I see. What about adding 2-months paid vacation, full dental and medical contribution, company mobile, and a Mustang to your staring salary expectation?"
The graduate cheered up, "Wow! It is just amazing! Are you kidding?"
The interviewer said, "Absolutely, but you started it."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Are you thinking about a day off request? Let's have a look at what you are requesting.
There are 365 days a year, 52 weeks. You already have 2 days off every week. So, there are only 261 days for actual work.
You have 8 hours each day, 16 hours out, therefore you have used up 170 days. That makes 91 days available for work.
Each day you have 30 minutes coffee break which counts for 23 days per year, so only 68 days are available.
Each day you also have 1 hour lunch break,which counts for 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
Generally, 2 days per year are spent on sick leave. Only 20 days per year available for work, apparently.
In general we have 5 holidays per year, so the available working time is only 15 days.
Our company grants 14 days for vacation per year which gives only 1 day available for work.
Do you really think that we will accept your day off request?
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

"Who believes in life after death?" asked the manager his team members.
"I believe in life after death." the new hire replied.
"Well, that explains everything" the manager continued, "You left after lunch yesterday to attend your grandfather's funeral ceremony, but in the afternoon he dropped in to visit you."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

How to annoy people in the elevator?
1. Ask everyone's e-mail address, then tell them there are too many dots in it.
2. When the elevator doors close, exclaim confidently, 'Stay calm folks, the doors will open again shortly.'
3. In the elevator press all of the buttons when you get out. It is more efficient when other people are still in it.
4. Stand at the front of the elevator, facing the back. (You may be followed if you are the first person)
5. Introduce your imaginary friends, and have a free conversation with them.
6. Exclaim in the elevator, 'Oh, no, again, it's started raining,' then open your umbrella. (You can open one for the imaginary friends, too)
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Jones went to see his line manager to arrange a holiday request.
"Peter," he said, "we are going to do some heavy house-cleaning tomorrow at home. My dear wife needs me to help with the moving and hauling of the furniture. I would like to fill a form for my holiday request."
"We are rather short-handed, I just cannot approve your holiday request," the manager replied.
"Thank you Peter," said Jones, "I knew I could count on you!"
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

You know it is your last day at work, when a woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, 'I helped the last ugly, fat, wrinkled lady. This one is your turn.'
And your boss is standing right behind you.
And it is his wife.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

You will never tell these to the boss:

1. I like my name to be popular in conversations, so if you do not like my work, tell everyone.

2. If you think my performance is outstanding, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could get me a promotion.

3. If you give me several jobs to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

4. If I have to follow special instructions for a job, do not write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.

5. Always wait until 17 PM with giving some work for me. The challenge of a deadline is always refreshing.

6. Do your best at keeping me late in the office. I like my workplace and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If it's really an urgent job, just run in and interrupt me every ten minutes to ask how it's going. That will improve my efficiency.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There's this Witch who worked in an office. Everything was satisfactory except that her colleagues, taking advantage of her good nature, would steal her parking spot. This continued until she put up the following sign: "This is the parking space of the Witch - Violators will be toad."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

My manager came in one morning and caught me hugging my pretty, new intern. He said in a rage, 'Really? Is this what you get paid for?'
I replied, 'No! I do this for free!'

Being punctual in our office was never a plus. Our pretty, new intern learned that quickly, as there was never anybody around to appreciate it.

Once I met a pretty, new intern standing in front of the paper shredder with a confused look on her face.
'Do you need any help?' I asked politely.
She said, 'Yes, how does this thing work?'
I took the documents from her hand and demonstrated how the shredder works. She stood there a moment with a more confused expression.
So I asked, 'Do you have any questions?'
She said, 'Yes, exactly where do the copies come out from?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Office Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)One Line at a Time
2)Little White Goat
3)Chinese Laundry
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)Survey on Sex
8)The Boss
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Recent Interview on the Internet
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!