Multi Line Answering Machine

Hello! You have called the multi line answering machine of your school. Please listen carefully to all your options before making a line selection:

To lie about why your child is absent - Press 0
To complain about school lunches - Press 1
To complain about what we do - Press 2
To request another teacher for the third time this year - Press 3
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work - Press 4
To insult staff members - Press 5
To ask why you didn't get any information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and flyers mailed to you - Press 6
To complain about bus transportation - Press 7
If you want us to raise your child - Press 8
If you want to reach out, hit or slap somebody - Press 9
If you realize this is the real world and your child must be responsible for his or her own attitude, and that is not the teachers' duty, hang up and have a nice day!

Thank you for calling the multi line answering machine.