Mother in Law Jokes, Mother in Law Joke
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Mother in Law Jokes

A couple's happy married life almost was ruined by the mother-in-law. She was demanding and criticized everything for the six long years she lived with them. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the funeral, the husband made a confession.
'Honey, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I could stay in the same house with your mother.'
His wife looked at him with eyes wide-open, 'My mother? I thought she was your mother!'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two suburban neighbors were having a chat in the evening.
The first said, 'I took my dog to the vet yesterday because it bit my mother-in-law.'
The other asked, 'Oh, Greg, did you put your border collie to sleep?'
The first replied, 'No, jeez, of course not, I had his teeth sharpened.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Around Christmas time a mother was giving directions to her daughter who was coming to visit with her significant other. 'I am in apartment 6C. You come to the front door of the apartment complex. There is a big panel at the entrance. With your elbow push button 6C and I will let you inside. The elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 6. When you get out I am on the right. With your elbow, push my doorbell.'
'That sounds easy,' replied the daughter, 'but why do I have to hit all these buttons with my elbow?'
'You aren't coming empty handed, are you?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A husband was in trouble giving Christmas gift to the mother-in-law, who constantly nagged him and gave him lectures. He decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again, but this year he did not buy her anything. The mother-in-law was upset.
'Why didn't you buy a Christmas gift for me?' she asked.
The angry son-in-law replied, 'Well, last year I bought you one, but you still haven't used that one!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

When the husband came home, his wife was crying on the coach.
'Your mother still makes personal insults,' she sobbed.
'My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation in India?' the husband asked.
'I know, I know. But this morning a letter arrived addressed to you. I opened it because I was so curious.'
'And? What was the personal insult in that?'
'At the end of the letter it was written: "PS. Dear Sonja, when you have finished reading this letter, do not forget to give it to my son."
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 6 ratings)

A police recruit got his last question on his final test, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?'
He replied seriously, 'I would call for backup.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The service was about to start in the church. Everyone was sitting, chatting about their jobs, families, holidays, etc. Suddenly Satan appeared in the church next to the altar. Panic and screams filled the air, everyone fled out of the church as fast as they could. When the dust settled, Satan saw one old man still sitting on one pew. He did not seem at all concerned that Satan appeared in front of him. This was very confusing to Satan.
'Do you know who I am?'
The old man replied, 'Sure I know you.'
'Aren't you not afraid of me?'
'No, I am not afraid.'
Satan felt offended and he got right in the old man's face and asked, 'Would you mind telling me why not, you little old creature?'
The old man replied, 'I have been married to your sister for 52 years.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law. However, over the last few months I have developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her filthy mouth shut.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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