Mother in Law Jokes, Mother in Law Joke
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Mother in Law Jokes

The young lady is going to marry. She comes home all excited to tell his mother that she is in love. She says, 'Just for fun, Mum, I'm going to bring over three gentleman and you just guess which one I am going to marry.'
The mother agrees. The next day she brings three gentlemen and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Then she says, 'Mum, guess which man I am going to marry.'
She immediately answers, 'The one in the middle.'
'That's amazing, you're right. How did you know?'
'I don't like him.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A couple's happy married life almost was ruined by the mother-in-law. She was demanding and criticized everything for the six long years she lived with them. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the funeral, the husband made a confession.
'Honey, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I could stay in the same house with your mother.'
His wife looked at him with eyes wide-open, 'My mother? I thought she was your mother!'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

When the husband came home, his wife was crying on the coach.
'Your mother still makes personal insults,' she sobbed.
'My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation in India?' the husband asked.
'I know, I know. But this morning a letter arrived addressed to you. I opened it because I was so curious.'
'And? What was the personal insult in that?'
'At the end of the letter it was written: "PS. Dear Sonja, when you have finished reading this letter, do not forget to give it to my son."
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 6 ratings)

A hunter went on his dream safari with his wife and mother-in-law. On their last night the wife woke up and couldn't find her mother in the tent. She woke up her husband and insisted to go and find her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, drank a sip of whiskey, and went to find her. Not far from the camp, they saw the mother-in-law who was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife asked, 'What are we going to do now?'
'Nothing,' whispered the hunter, 'the lion got himself into this trouble, let him get himself out of it.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Natalie was talking to her 101 year-old mother-in-law.
'What do you think is the best thing about being over 100?' she asked.
The mother-in-law replied simply, 'No peer pressure.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Mr. Pitt was traveling with his wife and his mother-in-law in Africa. In a village the mother-in-law said a careless comment, which proved to be a direct insult to the African tribal chief. The native people grabbed all the three of them and took the family to their leader. They were about to suffer from fifty hits on their back with a long stick as punishment. The village traditions were strict, but the tribal chief didn't wanted to be so barbaric. He granted the guests one wish before the punishment.
'I want a pillow on my back,' said Mrs. Pitt first.
'Okay, that shall be granted to you,' said the African tribal chief.
But the pillow was a little bit small, so she got some hits which really hurt.
'I would like two pillows on my back,' said the mother-in-law.
'Okay, that shall be granted to you,' replied the tribal chief.
The mother-in-law received her fifty hits, but hardly felt the pain through the pillows.
Then came Mr. Pitt himself.
'I have two wishes. Can you fulfill them for me?'
'Because you are a guest in our village, I fulfill your wishes, as long as they are reasonable.'
'I would like a hundred hits instead of fifty,' he said.
'It is surprising, but okay. And what is your second wish?' asked the African tribal chief.
'I would like to have my mother-in-law on my back.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The middle-aged man was shaking after the doctor set up the diagnosis. He had a terminal disease, which left him with only four months. The doctor advised him to live life to the fullest.
'What will you do during the last months?' asked him.
The man was thinking, but soon he answered, 'I will live with my mother-in-law'.
The doctor was surprised, 'Of all the people, why would you live with your mother-in-law? I have just suggested to live life to the fullest.'
The man was determined, 'Because those will be the longest four months of my life!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The lawyer called his client, 'I regret to tell you, your mother-in-law passed away. Shall we order cremation, embalming or burial?'
'Take no chances. Order all three.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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