Mother in Law Jokes, Mother in Law Joke
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Mother in Law Jokes

The young lady is going to marry. She comes home all excited to tell his mother that she is in love. She says, 'Just for fun, Mum, I'm going to bring over three gentleman and you just guess which one I am going to marry.'
The mother agrees. The next day she brings three gentlemen and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Then she says, 'Mum, guess which man I am going to marry.'
She immediately answers, 'The one in the middle.'
'That's amazing, you're right. How did you know?'
'I don't like him.'
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Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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The priest was comforting the bereaved man at a funeral.
'Come on, come on my good friend, tears cannot bring back your mother-in-law.'
The bereaved man replied, 'I know, I know... that's why I'm crying.'
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When the husband came home, his wife was crying on the coach.
'Your mother still makes personal insults,' she sobbed.
'My mother? How could she do that when she is on vacation in India?' the husband asked.
'I know, I know. But this morning a letter arrived addressed to you. I opened it because I was so curious.'
'And? What was the personal insult in that?'
'At the end of the letter it was written: "PS. Dear Sonja, when you have finished reading this letter, do not forget to give it to my son."
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The cannibals are sharing dinner. One says, 'I hate my mother-in-law.'
The other answers, 'Well, then just eat the noodles.'
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Two suburban neighbors were having a chat in the evening.
The first said, 'I took my dog to the vet yesterday because it bit my mother-in-law.'
The other asked, 'Oh, Greg, did you put your border collie to sleep?'
The first replied, 'No, jeez, of course not, I had his teeth sharpened.'
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The lawyer called his client, 'I regret to tell you, your mother-in-law passed away. Shall we order cremation, embalming or burial?'
'Take no chances. Order all three.'
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A husband was in trouble giving Christmas gift to the mother-in-law, who constantly nagged him and gave him lectures. He decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again, but this year he did not buy her anything. The mother-in-law was upset.
'Why didn't you buy a Christmas gift for me?' she asked.
The angry son-in-law replied, 'Well, last year I bought you one, but you still haven't used that one!'
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A couple's happy married life almost was ruined by the mother-in-law. She was demanding and criticized everything for the six long years she lived with them. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the funeral, the husband made a confession.
'Honey, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I could stay in the same house with your mother.'
His wife looked at him with eyes wide-open, 'My mother? I thought she was your mother!'
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A hunter went on his dream safari with his wife and mother-in-law. On their last night the wife woke up and couldn't find her mother in the tent. She woke up her husband and insisted to go and find her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, drank a sip of whiskey, and went to find her. Not far from the camp, they saw the mother-in-law who was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife asked, 'What are we going to do now?'
'Nothing,' whispered the hunter, 'the lion got himself into this trouble, let him get himself out of it.'
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