Mother in Law Jokes, Mother in Law Joke
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Mother in Law Jokes

Two suburban neighbors were having a chat in the evening.
The first said, 'I took my dog to the vet yesterday because it bit my mother-in-law.'
The other asked, 'Oh, Greg, did you put your border collie to sleep?'
The first replied, 'No, jeez, of course not, I had his teeth sharpened.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law. However, over the last few months I have developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her filthy mouth shut.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A police recruit got his last question on his final test, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?'
He replied seriously, 'I would call for backup.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A couple's happy married life almost was ruined by the mother-in-law. She was demanding and criticized everything for the six long years she lived with them. Finally the old girl died. On the way back from the funeral, the husband made a confession.
'Honey, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I could stay in the same house with your mother.'
His wife looked at him with eyes wide-open, 'My mother? I thought she was your mother!'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A hunter went on his dream safari with his wife and mother-in-law. On their last night the wife woke up and couldn't find her mother in the tent. She woke up her husband and insisted to go and find her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, drank a sip of whiskey, and went to find her. Not far from the camp, they saw the mother-in-law who was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife asked, 'What are we going to do now?'
'Nothing,' whispered the hunter, 'the lion got himself into this trouble, let him get himself out of it.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Honey, the chiming wall clock fell off the wall this afternoon. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head,' said the wife strictly.
'Oh, God! That chiming wall clock has always been slow!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The service was about to start in the church. Everyone was sitting, chatting about their jobs, families, holidays, etc. Suddenly Satan appeared in the church next to the altar. Panic and screams filled the air, everyone fled out of the church as fast as they could. When the dust settled, Satan saw one old man still sitting on one pew. He did not seem at all concerned that Satan appeared in front of him. This was very confusing to Satan.
'Do you know who I am?'
The old man replied, 'Sure I know you.'
'Aren't you not afraid of me?'
'No, I am not afraid.'
Satan felt offended and he got right in the old man's face and asked, 'Would you mind telling me why not, you little old creature?'
The old man replied, 'I have been married to your sister for 52 years.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

The middle-aged man was shaking after the doctor set up the diagnosis. He had a terminal disease, which left him with only four months. The doctor advised him to live life to the fullest.
'What will you do during the last months?' asked him.
The man was thinking, but soon he answered, 'I will live with my mother-in-law'.
The doctor was surprised, 'Of all the people, why would you live with your mother-in-law? I have just suggested to live life to the fullest.'
The man was determined, 'Because those will be the longest four months of my life!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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