Mother in Law Jokes, Mother in Law Joke
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Mother in Law Jokes

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Around Christmas time a mother was giving directions to her daughter who was coming to visit with her significant other. 'I am in apartment 6C. You come to the front door of the apartment complex. There is a big panel at the entrance. With your elbow push button 6C and I will let you inside. The elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 6. When you get out I am on the right. With your elbow, push my doorbell.'
'That sounds easy,' replied the daughter, 'but why do I have to hit all these buttons with my elbow?'
'You aren't coming empty handed, are you?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two suburban neighbors were having a chat in the evening.
The first said, 'I took my dog to the vet yesterday because it bit my mother-in-law.'
The other asked, 'Oh, Greg, did you put your border collie to sleep?'
The first replied, 'No, jeez, of course not, I had his teeth sharpened.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The young lady is going to marry. She comes home all excited to tell his mother that she is in love. She says, 'Just for fun, Mum, I'm going to bring over three gentleman and you just guess which one I am going to marry.'
The mother agrees. The next day she brings three gentlemen and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Then she says, 'Mum, guess which man I am going to marry.'
She immediately answers, 'The one in the middle.'
'That's amazing, you're right. How did you know?'
'I don't like him.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The head of the most promising startup had a meeting with her new son-in-law. 'I really love my daughter, and now I welcome you into our family. I'm making you a 50-50 partner in the most promising startup. All you have to do is going to the factory and learn the operations,' said the businesswoman.
The son-in-law did not really like the idea, 'I really hate factories. I can't stand the noise and dust,' he said.
'I understand,' answered the mother-in-law. 'Then you can work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.'
'I really hate office work,' said the son-in-law. 'I hate being stuck behind a computer all day.'
'Wait a sec,' said the mother-in-law. 'I have just made you half-owner of a profitable, promising startup, but you do not want to work anywhere. What should I do with you?'
'It's easy,' replied the young man. 'Buy me out.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A husband was in trouble giving Christmas gift to the mother-in-law, who constantly nagged him and gave him lectures. He decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again, but this year he did not buy her anything. The mother-in-law was upset.
'Why didn't you buy a Christmas gift for me?' she asked.
The angry son-in-law replied, 'Well, last year I bought you one, but you still haven't used that one!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The priest was comforting the bereaved man at a funeral.
'Come on, come on my good friend, tears cannot bring back your mother-in-law.'
The bereaved man replied, 'I know, I know... that's why I'm crying.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A hunter went on his dream safari with his wife and mother-in-law. On their last night the wife woke up and couldn't find her mother in the tent. She woke up her husband and insisted to go and find her mother. The hunter picked up his gun, drank a sip of whiskey, and went to find her. Not far from the camp, they saw the mother-in-law who was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife asked, 'What are we going to do now?'
'Nothing,' whispered the hunter, 'the lion got himself into this trouble, let him get himself out of it.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

I used to not get on with my mother-in-law. However, over the last few months I have developed quite an attachment for her. It goes over her head and a strap comes down under her chin to keep her filthy mouth shut.
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Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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