Marriage Jokes, Marriage Joke
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Marriage Jokes

Charlie was minutes away from receiving a vasectomy when his brother and sister-in-law dropped in holding their newborn baby.
'Stop Charlie! You cannot do this!' exclaimed the brother.
'Why not?' asked Charlie.
'Don't you wanna have a beautiful baby in the future? Like my wife and I have here? Come on, I want a nephew. Charlie, make me an uncle.'
Charlie couldn't take it anymore.
He gave his sister-in-law a regretful look and asked his brother, 'Are you sure?'
'Yes brother, I want a nephew, it would be an honor.'
'Well congrats, you're holding him.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A couple was traveling in the Middle East. An Arab went to the husband and told him, 'I will give you 60 camels for your woman.'
After a long, embarrassing silence, the husband replied, 'My wife is not for sale.'
The scornful wife asked, 'What took you so long?'
The husband replied, 'I was trying to figure out how to travel with camels back home.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A couple had been arguing about the purchasing a new car for weeks. He wanted a new 4x4 pickup. She wanted a fast sports car, to zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any old rickety truck, but everything she liked was not affordable.
'Look!' she started, 'I want something that goes from 0 to 250 in 5 seconds or less. You know, my birthday is in two weeks, you could surprise me.'
This is how she got a brand new bathroom scale.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A lady was shopping for Thanksgiving. She was searching through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store. She just couldn't find one big enough for the whole family. After all her husband's relatives all were invited, wives, husbands, children.
She asked the vendor, 'Excuse me, I am shopping for Thanksgiving. Will the turkeys get any bigger?'
The vendor replied, 'No. They are dead.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Dan was living in sunny France, and the heat wave did not wanted to stop.
'It is just too hot to wear any clothes today!' complained Dan as he stepped out of the bathroom. 'Sweetheart, what do you think the neighbors would reckon if I did some gardening like this?'
'I know exactly. Probably they would reckon that I married you for your money.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How does the telephone operator propose to his girlfriend?
A: He gives her a ring.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

At the confectionery, a young woman was telling about her idea of the perfect match to her girlfriends.
'The perfect match, the man I would marry, is sociable and talkative. He must be musical. He is funny, sings, and stays home at night!'
An old grandma overheard and spoke up, 'My darling, if that is all you want, get a TV!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The husband and the wife were playing tennis when suddenly the wife asked, 'Darling, if I died would you get married again?'
The husband said, 'No, honey.'
The wife said, 'I am pretty sure you would.'
So the husband said, 'O.k., I would.'
The wife asked, 'Would you let her sleep in our king size bed?'
The husband answered, 'Yes, I think so.'
Then the wife asked, 'Would you let her use my tennis racket?'
The husband replied, 'No, she is right handed.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Four husbands are at a bar, boasting about the control they have over their wives. One of them remains silent.
After a while, the others turn to the silent one and ask, 'Hey, what about you? What kind of control do you have over your wife?'
'Well, imagine, just the other day I had her on her knees,' he says.
All the others are amazed, 'Wow! What happened next?'
The man takes a healthy sip of his beer, and mutters, 'Then she started screaming: "Get out from under the bed! Fight like a real man!"
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

My father and I were talking about marriage and love, and the best wedding vows. He told me that he knew as early as their wedding day, that what kind of marriage they would have. On the ceremony the priest asked my mother, 'Do you take this man to be your husband?'
And my mother said, 'I do.'
Then the priest asked my father, 'Do you take this woman to be your wife?'
And my mother said, 'He does.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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