Q: What is the difference between a bucket of dirt and a lawyer?
A: The bucket.
Q: You are in a room with a lawyer, Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler. You have a gun with two bullets. Who do you shoot?
A: The lawyer, twice. Just to make sure he is dead.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God does not think he's a lawyer.
Q: Why did the post office stopped issuing lawyer stamps?
A: People did not know which side to spit on.
Q: Do you know where I can find a good lawyer?
A: Sure, in the cemetery.
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