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Bobby drove a minibus. He pulled up next to a young guy in a Lamborghini at a stop sign. Their windows were open and Bobby yelled at the young fellow in the Lamborghini, 'Hi, do you have a phone in that car?'
The guy answered, 'Yes, I do.'
'I have one too, can you see?'
'Yeah, that's very nice,' agreed the Lamborghini driver.
Then the minibus driver asked, 'Do you have a fax machine over there?'
'Actually, yes, I do.'
'I also have one here,' said Bobby proudly.
'Uh-huh, nice.'
The light was just about to turn green and Bobby asked from his minibus, 'So, do you have a double bed in back there?'
'No! Do you have?' asked the surprised Lamborghini driver.
'Yeah, right in back here, can you see?'
The light turned green and the minibus turned right.
Well, the young fellow in the Lamborghini went directly to a customizing garage and ordered them to put a double bed in back of his luxury car.
Three weeks later he picked up his car, and immediately searched for Bobby and the minibus. He finally found it, parked in a calm street. The Lamborghini driver got out and knocked on the minibus window. Bobby opened the window.
'Hello, remember me?' asked the young fellow.
'Sure, what's up?' asked Bobby.
'Check this out, I also have double bed installed in my Lambo!'
Bobby answered indifferently, 'And you called me out of the shower to tell me this?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

An airline pilot was scheduled to take a flight from San Francisco to Mexico City. The weather was too bad to allow the usual, on-time departure. When the sky was finally clear, the pilot asked for take-off permit. He was very upset to hear that he had another serious flight delay due to the increased airport traffic. Sometime later he decided to ask for a direct route to Mexico City to reduce his delay.
Halfway across the continent he was told to turn East. Knowing that this turn would now will crash his whole flight schedule, he inquired harshly about the reason. The controller replied that the reason was noise abatement.
The pilot went furious and said to the controller, 'Look buddy, I am already way behind my schedule, in a serious flight delay, I really do not see how I could be causing a noise problem for the people when I am over 5 miles above them!'
In a calm voice, the controller replied, 'I suppose you have never heard the sound of the collision of two 747 aircrafts!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Software testing steps:

Alpha testing:
First step in getting user feedback.
Alpha is Latin for: "doesn't work."

Beta testing:
Shortly before it is released.
Beta is Latin for: "still doesn't work."

Scheduled release date:
A delicately chosen date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting nine months from it.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
If I think it's mine, it's mine.
If I like it, it's mine.
If I am doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
If it is in my hand, it's mine.
If it it's near me, it's mine.
If I can take it from you, it's mine.
If I had it a week ago, it's mine.
If it is broccoli, it's yours.
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(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

'Mr. Goodman, here is my final consulting report on your company. I have listed all the dead-weight employees, these are the ones who should be fired,' said the freelance HR consultant.
'Mr. Potts, I heard that you are the best freelance HR consultant, and you do not make mistakes, but this is the company directory.'
'Oh, yes, finding that was a great time-saver.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Mr. Longstone was briefing his client, who was about to testify in his own defense.
'You must swear to tell the complete truth. Do you understand?' he asked.
'Yes, I understand,' replied his client.
'Do you know what will happen if you don't tell the complete truth?'
The client looked at him and said, 'We will win, I guess.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why did they stop the leper hockey game?
A: Because there was a face-off in the corner.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A little girl was sitting on her grandmother's lap and was studying the wrinkles on her face. She rubbed her fingers over the wrinkles, then she touched her own face. She looked puzzled.
'Granny, did God make you?'
'Yes dear, a long time ago,' replied her grandmother, touching the wrinkles on her face.
'And did God make me as well?' asked the little girl.
'Yes, and that wasn't too long ago,' answered her grandmother.
'Well..., he is doing a lot better job these days, isn't he?'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Our parents had not been out together on a traditional date in quite some time. One Friday, as my mother was finishing the dinner dishes, my dad stepped up behind her.
'Can I take you out, girl?' he asked.
Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, 'Oh, yes, I would love to go out!'
They had a lovely, traditional date, however at the end of it my father confessed. His question had been directed to our dog actually, who was lying on the kitchen floor near my mother's feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Little Richie wanted be be a cowboy. He lacked any cowboy skills, but he was eager to learn. Taking pity on him, a farmer decided to give him a chance.
'This is a lariat, we use this to catch cows.' he explained.
'I see,' said Little Richie, trying to seem he has some cowboy skills as he examined the lariat. 'And what do you use for bait?'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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