Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeALL Jokes

ALL Jokes

Q: What is the difference between a vampires and a lawyers?
A: Vampires only suck blood at night.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

There was guy on his backpacking trip to South America. He was hopeless in the sudden storm, it took him two hours to make it to the nearest farm house. Soaked and shivering, but he finally reached the front door and knocked on it. An old farmer answered and the guy explained that he is on a backpacking trip to South America and pleaded for a place to spend the night. 'Sure my young fella, I can give you a a place to sleep,' said the hospitable old man, 'but, I ain't got no daughter for you to sleep with, like you always hear in the jokes.'
'Oooh!' said the backpacker. Then considering what he heard, asked, 'And how far is the next farm house?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Free to take:
Full set of Encyclopedia Britannica
Reason:
No longer need them, as wife knows everything.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

I was walking down a quite dark alley last night, when I heard a strange noise.
'Help! Help!' screamed and old lady into the night.
I saw that two robbers were trying to steal the old lady's handbag, but she was fighting fiercely.
I wondered if I should get involved, or simply keep walking and pretend I didn't see anything.
But finally I decided that I should help. It didn't take the three of us very long to get the old lady's handbag.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'As part of your student work, the first task here will be to sweep the floor.'
'But I'm a college student!' the young guy complained.
'In that case give me the broom - I will show you how!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

The other day I drove through the red light. At court I told the judge that I was a teacher, and asked my case to be heard immediately so I could get back to my class. A wild shine came into the judge's eye.
He said, 'Madam, I have waited so many years to have a teacher in this court. Sit down at that table now, and write: "I drove through the red light!" 200 times.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Maybe you have to change your GP. Read the ultimate signs of a bad doctor:

1. He calls you at 3 a.m. "just to talk."
2. He colors your X-rays with crayons every time.
3. He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Long Island.
4. His examination room is Room 13 at the No-Tell Motel.
5. Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.
6. Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go".
7. He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks".
8. He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde went into the library and said, 'Good morning, I am here to see the doctor.'
The surprised librarian replied, 'This is a library.'
So the blonde lowered her voice and whispered, 'I am really sorry, I am here to see the doctor.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A backpacker was travelling by bus from Quito to Santo Domingo. He decided to chat with his seat mate.
'Hey, I have some really funny policeman jokes. Would you like to hear them?'
'Mister, before you tell me really funny policeman jokes, I warn you that I am a policeman.'
'That is okay, then I will tell them really slow!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Sam decided to go skiing with his best friend, Dean. They loaded up Sam's jeep with their skiing equipment and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a horrible blizzard. Slowly they arrived to a farmhouse and asked the lady of the house if they could spend the night there.
'I am recently widowed and I'm afraid my neighbors will gossip if I let you stay in my house,' she told them.
'Don't worry, we will be more than happy if you let us sleep in the barn,' Sam said.
Nine months passed by and Sam got a letter from the widow's lawyer. He read it, and called up his best friend Dean.
'Hey buddy, do you remember that lady at the farm we stayed at? When we had to sleep in the barn.'
'Yes, I remember her.'
'Did you get up in the middle of the night to go and have sex with her?'
'Yes, I have to confess it.'
'Did you told her my name instead of yours?'
Dean's face turned red and he said shamefully, 'Yes, I'm afraid I did.'
'Well, thanks a lot buddy! She died and left me everything!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

<   Previous 10 Jokes
 
Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2) God Create Brunettes
3)Don't Drive in Texas
4)Sculptures on Display
5)The Boss
6)Dedicated Republican
7)Very Fast Country
8)Brilliant Bach
9)Stoned Drunk
10)I Started Out with Nothing
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!