Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeALL Jokes

ALL Jokes

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Canoe!
Canoe who?
Canoe put sunscreen on my back?
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A vagabond in the Middle Ages found a roadside inn. It was the "Lancelot and the Dragon". As it was raining and he was hungry and exhausted, he entered.
'Good evening! Could you spare some leftover food?'
The innkeeper's wife looked at his dirty face, worn-out, muddy clothes and his shaggy hair.
'No way!' she shouted.
'Could I have a sip of beer?'
'No way!' she shouted again.
'Could I please sleep in your stable at least?' begged the vagabond.
'No way!' shouted again the innkeeper's wife.
'Please, can I ...?'
'What the heck?' interrupted the the woman, not allowing him to finish.
'... that can I have a word with Lancelot?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The elderly couple was celebrating their fifty-fifth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts. They had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands they walked back to their old elementary school. It was open, so they entered. They found the old desk they had shared, where Mick had carved "I love you, Ginny."
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored truck, landing right in front of them.
Ginny quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took the bag of money home. There she counted, it was exactly sixty-thousand dollars.
Mick said, 'We've got to give it back.'
'Finders keepers!' said Ginny and hid it in the attic.
The next day, two FBI agents were investigating the neighborhood, looking for the bag of money. They knocked on their door.
'Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored truck yesterday?' they asked.
Ginny replied quickly, 'No.'
Mick interrupted, 'She's lying, she hid it up in the attic.'
Ginny argued, 'Oh, please, don't believe him, he's getting old and senile.'
The agents turned to Mick and began to question him.
'Tell us the story, from the beginning.'
Mick started, 'Well, when Ginny and I were walking home from school yesterday...'
The first FBI agent turned to his partner and said, 'Okay, let's go now.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Lizzie prepared a pasta dish for her very first dinner party. In her haste she forgot to put the spaghetti sauce into the fridge, and it sat on the kitchen counter all day. She was worried about spoilage, but it was too late to cook something else. She called the local Poison Control Center and told her concern. They advised Lizzie to simply boil the sauce again.
That night, the phone rang during her first dinner party, and a guest volunteered to answer it.
Lizzie's face dropped as the guest called out, 'It is the Poison Control Center. They called to know how the spaghetti sauce turned out.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A retired soldier was looking for a new job. He found one he was interested in, so went for a job interview.
'Do you have any military experience?' asked the interviewer.
'Well, I have been in the Army for a couple of years,' he replied.
'Do you have any disabilities to mention?'
The soldier looked at his crotch and replied shakily, 'It happened in Vietnam... I had a grenade go off between my legs, blowing off my testicles.'
The interviewer was shocked and said, 'All right, all right, you are hired. Please report to work on Monday at ten o'clock.'
The soldier knew that this was not a usual starting time so he asked, 'Excuse me, when do the others start? I do not want special conditions because of disability.'
The interviewer replied kindly, 'You know... I'll tell you the truth. Everyone comes at seven in the morning, but nothing gets done until ten. All we do is stand and sit around, scratching our balls, trying to figure out what to do.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Yo Mama's so piggy, she ate a TV dinner and choked on the antenna!
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two vampire bats wake up in the cave in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. The first says, 'Let's fly out get some blood!'
'We are new here,' says the second bat. 'It's so dark outside, and we don't know where to fly. We had better wait until the other bats come with us.'
The first bat replies, 'Who needs them? I am thirsty for blood right now. I can find some on my own somewhere.'
He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is totally covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, 'Wow, from where did you get the blood?'
The first bat takes his bat buddy to the mouth of the cave. Points into the night and asks, 'Can you see that high black tree over there?'
'Yes,' answers the other bat.
'You know,' says the first bat, 'I didn't see.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

A cop stopped a driver for not stopping at the sign. The driver gives the cop a lot of explanations that he did stop. After ten minutes, the cop explained to the man that he did not stop, he just slowed down a little.
The driver said, 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'
The cop pulled the guy out of the car and hit him with a police expandable baton several times, and then asked, 'Would you like me to stop or just slow down?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two elderly people lived in a Florida mobile home park, he was a widower and she a widow. They had known each another for several years. Now, one evening there was a community dinner. These two sat at the same table. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her, gathered up his courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After consideration, she answered. 'Yes, I will.'
The meal ended and they went to their respective places in the Florida mobile home park. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say 'Yes' or did she say 'No'? He just couldn't remember. Not even a faint memory. He went to the phone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to when he was younger. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained more courage, he asked her, 'When I asked if you would marry me, what was your answer?'
He was happy to hear her say, 'I said, "Yes, I will" and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so delighted that you called, because I just could not remember who had asked me.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The other day I saw a woman trying to get out of a small parking space. She bumped the car in front, then bumped the car behind her.
After a few minutes I walked there and asked if I could help somehow. Parallel parking can be a headache for many of us. But she declined my offer saying, 'Why have bumpers if you are not using them once in a while?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

<   Previous 10 Jokes
 
Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Dedicated Republican
10)Very Fast Country
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!