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A Mexican traveled to the USA. He spoke no English, but had to buy new socks. He walked into a small clothing store, and managed to convey to the shop assistant that he needs something, but not what.
The shop assistant had an idea and took down boxes and showed to the Mexican what was inside. Shirts, ties, hats, pants, but each time the Mexican shook his head and said, 'No.'
Finally, there was a box of socks.
The Mexican nodded vigorously, pointed to the box of socks and said, 'Eso sí que es!'
The shop assistant angrily blurted out, 'Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place???'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One morning in a stylish hotel's breakfast lounge, a guest called over the head waiter.
'Good morning, sir! I would like to order my breakfast menu. I will have two boiled eggs. One of them so under cooked that it's gooey, and the other so overcooked that it's hard. I also would like burnt toast, and butter that's so cold it is impossible to spread, and some raw bacon. Finally, I will have a pot of extra weak long coffee, served cold.'
The bewildered waiter replied, 'Sir! We do not serve such an awful breakfast menu here!'
'Why not?' the guest asked back. 'Exactly this is what I got here yesterday!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Due to my back problems, each night I lie on the floor and do some exercises. Once at a hotel, as I started my exercise, there was something under the bed. It was a small card, saying: "Yes, we clean under here, too."
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Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Elly!
Elly who?
Elly-mentary, Mr. Watson!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Signs showing that you have had enough of the new millennium:

- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now sells for half the price you paid.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from Central Asia, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
- The concept of using cash, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is strange for you.
- You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have social media accounts.
- You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
- You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.


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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What did follow the dinosaur?
A: Its tail.
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The family farm had been mortgaged to give the daughter university education. The girl traveled home for the Christmas Holidays after the first term. Her father, Farmer Jack was greatly disturbed when she whispered, 'Daddy, I have a confession to make. I ain't a virgin no more.'
Farmer Jack shook his head sadly, 'After all the sacrifices that me and your Mum made to give you university education, you still say "ain't"!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man was in no shape to drive after they had a Christmas party at the office. So he wisely decided to leave his car parked and walked home. As he was walking along with uncertain steps, a policeman stopped him.
'What are you doing out here at 3 a.m.?' asked the policeman.
'We had a Christmas party at the office, now I am going to a lecture,' replied the man.
'And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?' asked the policeman.
'My wife,' replied said the man.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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