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A man went to the psychiatrist's office and started to explain his problem.
'I have this problem,' the man started, 'that I keep hallucinating I am a dog. It is just crazy. I don't know what should I do!'
'A common canine complex,' diagnosed the psychiatrist. 'No worries, come here and lie down on the couch.'
'Oh, Doctor, no...' the man said nervously, 'Dogs are not allowed up on the furniture.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A client called the round-the-clock customer support hotline. She wanted to ask what hours the call center was open.
'This phone number you dialed, is 24/7,' said the technician who answered the call.
She asked back, 'Is that Pacific or Eastern time?'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The copy machine is out of order every now and then in most offices. Instead of answering the same questions of the employees, a notice like this would do:

Yes, the photocopier is out of order,
Yes, we have called the service man,
Yes, he will be here today,
No, we don't know how long it will take,
No, we cannot fix the machine,
No, we don't know who broke it,
No, we don't know what is the root cause,
Yes, we are keeping it,
No, we don't know what you are going to do now.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What did follow the dinosaur?
A: Its tail.
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In a parking lot a man attempted to siphon gas from a camper van. The policeman arrived as soon as he could. At the scene there was an ill man curled up next to the camper van near a big spill of sewage.
The man admitted to trying to siphon gas. He plugged his hose into the sewage tank of the camper van by mistake.
The owner of the vehicle said that it was the best laugh he'd ever had and declined to press charges.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The candidate is on a job interview, at the point of the salary negotiation.
The manager says, 'For a man without any experience, you are asking for an extremely high salary.'
The candidate replies, 'Well, the tasks are much harder when you don't know what you're doing!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Natalie was talking to her 101 year-old mother-in-law.
'What do you think is the best thing about being over 100?' she asked.
The mother-in-law replied simply, 'No peer pressure.'
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The husband had an inferiority complex. He insisted he was just a little grain of sand in the desert. The marriage counselor, tried to be creative and gave him and advice, 'If you want to save your marriage, you'd better be a little boulder!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

TOP 5 IT Department Handling Tricks

No.1: When you call the IT Department to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it under half a ton of confidential documents, postcards, dog pictures, stuffed animals, and children's drawings. They do not have a life, so they find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

No.2: Do not write anything down. Ever. They can play back the error messages.

No.3: When an IT guy says he is coming right over, go for coffee. That way you won't be there when he need your password. It's nothing for them to remember 260 passwords.

No.4: When IT Department sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. They are just testing.

No.5: When an IT guy tells you that he will be there shortly, reply in a hard tone of voice, 'And how many weeks do you mean by shortly?!' That makes them more helpful.
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A red sports car was racing on the freeway. A highway patrolman pulled alongside the speeding car. He was shocked when he saw that an elderly woman was behind the wheel and she was knitting!
The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to her, 'Pull over!'
The elderly woman yelled back, 'No! Scarf!'
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