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'Lulu, in the park this morning I was surrounded by lions!'
'Lance, surrounded by lions, in the park?'
'Well, dandelions!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, nine are nonsense.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your a few basic needs.
SERVER woman: Busy when you need her.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she cannot do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
USER woman: She messes up everything and she asks always more than she needs.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes terrible things look beautiful.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife".
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How did the blonde's right and left leg meet?
A: They never met.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man went to the doctor to get the annual health check-up results. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had very bad news, since his check-up results showed cancer and Alzheimer's disease.
The man replied, 'Well, at least I don't have cancer.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Software testing steps:

Alpha testing:
First step in getting user feedback.
Alpha is Latin for: "doesn't work."

Beta testing:
Shortly before it is released.
Beta is Latin for: "still doesn't work."

Scheduled release date:
A delicately chosen date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting nine months from it.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

An American businessman had a visitor from the Netherlands. They were chatting at the dinner table.
'Our flag symbolizes our taxes,' the Dutch explained jokingly, 'We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them.'
'That's the same with us,' replied the American, 'only we see stars, too.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

At a hospital everything went crazy due to the striking doctors. Hospital officials said they would find out what are the demands were as soon as they could get a pharmacist to read the wishlist of the striking doctors.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Two policemen were walking down the street.
The first said, 'Hey! Look at that big dog with one eye!'
The second replied, 'Okay!' and with his hand he covered one of his eyes.
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A husband was in trouble giving Christmas gift to the mother-in-law, who constantly nagged him and gave him lectures. He decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again, but this year he did not buy her anything. The mother-in-law was upset.
'Why didn't you buy a Christmas gift for me?' she asked.
The angry son-in-law replied, 'Well, last year I bought you one, but you still haven't used that one!'
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Be careful, because below things are NOT considered as Valentine's Day Gifts:

1. Cash
2. Gift card
3. Anything you could have bought at the gas station on your way - even if you did not.
4. A box of chocolates, rearranged in an attempt to hide the fact you ate all the liquor-filled ones.
5. A look and the words: "Oh honey, that was today?"
6. Flowers from a hospital's gift shop or even worse, a mortuary's.
7. Any food item with the words on the label: diet, light, high fiber.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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