Farmer Jokes, Farmer Joke
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Farmer Jokes

A driver ended up in a ditch with his car in a desolated area while he was trying the turns of the next rally. He was so lucky that a local farmer saw him and came to help with his strong red stallion named Luke.
He hitched Luke up to the car and yelled, 'Pull Sophie, pull!'
Luke didn't move.
Then the farmer yelled, 'Pull, Browny, pull!'
The red stallion didn't move.
The farmer yelled, 'Pull, Sky, pull!'
Luke still was standing still.
Then the farmer indifferently said, 'Pull, Luke, pull!'
And the strong red stallion easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The driver was thankful but very curious at the same time. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name many times.
The farmer replied, 'Oh, Luke is blind. He wouldn't even try if he thought he was the only one pulling!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A life insurance agent wanted to sell a policy to a farmer, but they were not on the same page.
'Look at it this way. How would your wife carry on if you should die?' the life insurance agent asked finally.
'Well, I don't think that'd be my concern, as long as she behaves herself while I am alive.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An Indian man was violently whipping his young son. A cowboy was passing by, and yelled at him, 'You! Do you have any reason to whip that boy?'
'This is not your business, cowboy, but he lied to me! He pushed over the outhouse and then told me he didn't do it!' said the Indian.
'That is no reason to whip him. George Washington cut down a cherry tree and his father didn't whip him to get to the truth!'
'Yeah cowboy, but George Washington's father was not in that cherry tree, was he?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A farmer from Texas goes to Australia, to spend there his vacation. He meets there with an Aussie farmer. They talk a lot, and the Aussie shows his big wheat field proudly.
'Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least three times as large.'
Then they walk around the ranch. The Aussie shows him the herd of cattle.
The farmer from Texas immediately comments, 'We have longhorns that are at least three times as large as your cows.'
The conversation almost dies at this point, but a bunch of kangaroos appears, hopping through the field. The Texas farmer asks, 'Wow, and what are those?'
The Aussie asks back with a satisfied smile, 'You have no grasshoppers in Texas?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

I saw a recent interview on the internet, with the old farmer who won twelve million dollars in the lottery. He was asked what he would do with all that money. He scratched his forehead and replied, 'I am not sure yet, but I think I will keep farming till it's all gone.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

The farmer's son was sent to sell chickens on the village market. His father gave him a big crate of chickens, but unfortunately he dropped it on his way and the chickens got loose. They escaped as fast as they could. The determined boy walked all over the neighborhood in search of them. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home, expecting the worst.
'Dad, I am so sorry but the chickens got loose,' he confessed sadly, 'but I managed to find all fifteen of them.'
'Don' worry, you did real good, son!' said the farmer happily. 'You left with ten!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A Wall Street broker bought a nice piece of land and moved to the country to start chicken farm business. He went to the local livestock trader and bought 150 chickens.
'That's a lot of chicks,' commented the trader.
'I do want to start chicken farm business. I want it to prosper as soon as possible,' replied the city dweller.
Five days later the broker returned and said, 'Hi, I need another 150 chickens.'
'Oh my friend, you are serious about this chicken farm business,' said the trader.
'Yes, I am,' he replied, 'I only have to rethink few problems.'
'Rethink problems?' asked back the trader.
'Yes, I think I planted that last ones way too close together.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A redneck bought a ticket and won the lottery. He went to claim the money.
'I want my $50 million,' he said proudly.
The lady at the counter replied, 'Sir, it doesn't work that way. We give you one million today. Then you will get the rest spread out for the next years.'
'Oh, no, no. I won the lottery I want all that money right now!' Again, the lady explained that he would only get a million that day and the rest of the amount will be transferred during the next 20 years.
The redneck was furious, he started screaming at the lady, 'Look, I won the lottery and I want my money! If you are not going to give me my $50 million right now, right here, then I want my dollar back!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Beth was in the kitchen cooking the dinner, when she yelled out to Aaron, 'You need to go out and fix the latrine!'
'There ain't nothing wrong with the latrine, Beth,' he yelled back.
'Yes there is, get out there and fix it, now!'
Aaron went out to the latrine, looked around and yelled back, 'Beth! There is nothing wrong with the latrine!'
'Stick your big head of yours in the hole!'
'No way I stick my head in that hole!'
'Aaron, you have to look inside to see what to fix.'
So with that, Aaron stuck his head in the hole, looked around and yelled back, 'There is really nothing wrong with the latrine!'
Beth yelled, 'Now take your head out of that hole!'
Aaron proceeded to pull his head out of the hole, but then started yelling, 'Beth! Beth! Help me! My beard is stuck in the cracks in the toilet seat!'
To which Beth replied, 'It hurts, isn't it?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man was driving along a peaceful country road when out of the blue a Japanese rooster ran under the car, leaving only a cloud of feathers on the bumper.
Frightened, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A cowboy came. The driver said, 'I am really sorry I think I killed your Japanese rooster, allow me to replace him, please.'
'Suit yourself,' the cowboy replied, 'you can go join the chickens.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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