Farmer Jokes, Farmer Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesFarmer Jokes

Farmer Jokes

The family farm had been mortgaged to give the daughter university education. The girl traveled home for the Christmas Holidays after the first term. Her father, Farmer Jack was greatly disturbed when she whispered, 'Daddy, I have a confession to make. I ain't a virgin no more.'
Farmer Jack shook his head sadly, 'After all the sacrifices that me and your Mum made to give you university education, you still say "ain't"!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Little Richie wanted be be a cowboy. He lacked any cowboy skills, but he was eager to learn. Taking pity on him, a farmer decided to give him a chance.
'This is a lariat, we use this to catch cows.' he explained.
'I see,' said Little Richie, trying to seem he has some cowboy skills as he examined the lariat. 'And what do you use for bait?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why does the farmer call his smallest pig "Ink"?
A: Because that pig was always run out of the pen.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A farmer and his beloved, new wife were visited by her mother. Her first thing to do was a throughout inspection of the goat farm, where they would start their new life. The farmer had tried to be friendly and welcoming, hoping that they can build up a harmonious relationship. But the mother-in-law kept nagging them at every opportunity, offering unwanted advice, demanding changes and generally making life unbearable to the couple. While they were walking through one pen, the farmer's little white goat suddenly kicked up in the air, and got the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. They were in shock in spite of the mother-in-law's behavior.
At the funeral the farmer stood next to the coffin and greeted the people. Whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he shook his head and mumbled something. Whenever a woman whispered something to the farmer, he nodded and mumbled something. The pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, 'The women said: "What a terrible tragedy!" and I nodded my head and said: "Yes, it is". The men asked: "Can I borrow that little white goat?" and I shook my head and said: "Sorry, I can't do that, my little white goat is already booked for a year".
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

There was guy on his backpacking trip to South America. He was hopeless in the sudden storm, it took him two hours to make it to the nearest farm house. Soaked and shivering, but he finally reached the front door and knocked on it. An old farmer answered and the guy explained that he is on a backpacking trip to South America and pleaded for a place to spend the night. 'Sure my young fella, I can give you a a place to sleep,' said the hospitable old man, 'but, I ain't got no daughter for you to sleep with, like you always hear in the jokes.'
'Oooh!' said the backpacker. Then considering what he heard, asked, 'And how far is the next farm house?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The farmer's son was sent to sell chickens on the village market. His father gave him a big crate of chickens, but unfortunately he dropped it on his way and the chickens got loose. They escaped as fast as they could. The determined boy walked all over the neighborhood in search of them. Hoping he had found them all, the boy returned home, expecting the worst.
'Dad, I am so sorry but the chickens got loose,' he confessed sadly, 'but I managed to find all fifteen of them.'
'Don' worry, you did real good, son!' said the farmer happily. 'You left with ten!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Next to a farmer's field a bus crashed into tree. It was full of politicians. Seeing what happened, the old farmer gets there to investigate. Finally digs a hole and buries them. The local sheriff goes by a few days later. He sees the bus crashed into tree, and asks the old farmer, 'Were they all dead?'
The old farmer replies, 'Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know, all politicians lie.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

On a drive in the country, a city businesswoman noticed a farmer, who was lifting a fat pig up to a plum tree. The pig there ate one plum after another.
'I am not a country girl, but if you just shook the tree, the plums will fall down. I guess that would save a lot of time.'
'Time.' answered the farmer. 'What does time matter to a simple fat pig?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A driver ended up in a ditch with his car in a desolated area while he was trying the turns of the next rally. He was so lucky that a local farmer saw him and came to help with his strong red stallion named Luke.
He hitched Luke up to the car and yelled, 'Pull Sophie, pull!'
Luke didn't move.
Then the farmer yelled, 'Pull, Browny, pull!'
The red stallion didn't move.
The farmer yelled, 'Pull, Sky, pull!'
Luke still was standing still.
Then the farmer indifferently said, 'Pull, Luke, pull!'
And the strong red stallion easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The driver was thankful but very curious at the same time. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name many times.
The farmer replied, 'Oh, Luke is blind. He wouldn't even try if he thought he was the only one pulling!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A life insurance agent wanted to sell a policy to a farmer, but they were not on the same page.
'Look at it this way. How would your wife carry on if you should die?' the life insurance agent asked finally.
'Well, I don't think that'd be my concern, as long as she behaves herself while I am alive.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Next 10 Farmer Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)One Line at a Time
2)Little White Goat
3)Chinese Laundry
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)Survey on Sex
8)The Boss
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Recent Interview on the Internet
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!