Doctor Jokes, Doctor Joke
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Doctor Jokes

Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Hey, just between us. Something smells.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'I have some good news for you. After looking through the test results I am happy to tell you my professional opinion. You will not have more pimples,' said the dermatologist to the girl.
'Wow! It's great! How come?'
'There is no more space on your face,' replied the dermatologist.
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(So far it's 3 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What do you find in a clean nose?
A: Fingerprints.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Christmas Carols and Psychiatric Challenges

Schizophrenia: Do You Hear What I Hear?

Narcissistic: Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Dementia: I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Multiple Personality Disorder: We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Borderline Personality Disorder: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Manic: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder: Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Personality Disorder: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Paranoid: Santa Claus is Coming to Get Me
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A psychologist at the asylum decided to take his inmates to an american football game. He had trained the patients for long weeks in advance to respond to his commands.
When the day of the american football game arrived, everything went smoothly. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, 'Up nuts!'
And the patients stood up.
After the anthem he yelled, 'Down nuts!'
And they all sat down.
After a goal he yelled, 'Cheer nuts!'
And they cheered, clapping.
Thinking things were going well, he decided to go get a hot dog, so he left his assistant in charge. He returned only to see that there was a big fight. Finding his assistant was not easy, but he could ask what happened.
The assistant explained, 'Uh, everything was okay, but one guy walked by and yelled: "PEANUTS!"
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Two elderly men were arguing the competence of their doctors.
'I don't trust your unworthy doctor. He treated old Gedeon Baily for a liver disease for almost a year. Then Gedeon died of a heart disease,' said the first.
'So why do you think your doctor is any better?' asked his pal.
'Because when my doctor treats you for a heart disease, you can be sure you will die of a heart disease.'
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Q: How can you keep someone stupid occupied?
A: I tell them this joke.
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A man went to the doctor to get the annual health check-up results. After the doctor examined him, he told the man he had very bad news, since his check-up results showed cancer and Alzheimer's disease.
The man replied, 'Well, at least I don't have cancer.'
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On the park bench one day two elderly ladies were chatting about life and death.
'To be serious, I am so fed up with life! I want to kill myself! What would be the quickest and easiest way to do it?'
The other lady kept sitting on the park bench, stared into nothing, and advised, 'Shoot yourself under your left boob.'
The next day one elderly lady was taken to the ER with a gun shot wound under her left knee.
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Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They choose the psycho path.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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