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Doctor Jokes

A six-year-old girl and her mother stood in front of a dental centre poster.
'If I had to have false teeth, Mommy, I would take that pair,' pointed the girl.
'Hush, Maggie,' said the mother quickly, shaking her arm, 'I told you it's not polite to pick your teeth in public!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An elderly gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist. The waiting room was filled with other patients. He went directly to the reception desk. The receptionist was a massive, middle-aged woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, 'YES, I FOUND YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All of the patients turned their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice answered, 'NO, I HAVE COME TO GET INFO ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION AND I WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Doctor, doctor! Help me! I keep seeing little white things before my eyes.'
'I understand. Have you seen a doctor before?'
'No, just little white things.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

There was a woman who wanted bigger boobs. She went to her doctor, Dr. Yuzu, and asked him about breast implants.
'Before you do anything serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients. This is an effective breast implant alternative. Every morning when you wake up in your bed, rub your boobs and say: "Scooobie dooobie, give me bigger boobies!"' he suggested.
She did this faithfully for six months and when she noticed that they actually were getting bigger, she was very happy that she started this breast implant alternative.
One morning she woke up late, so she was in a hurry. By the time she got on the train she realized that she forgot to rub her boobs.
So as she was sitting on the train, she started to rub her boobs, saying, 'Scooobie dooobie, give me bigger boobies!'
The man standing next to her asked, 'Hey, do you know Dr. Yuzu?'
'Yes, how did you know?' she said.
'Hickory, dickory dock!' he replied.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There was an ugly accident about midnight on the road. A drunk teen driver was taken to the hospital immediately. The left side of his body was completely paralyzed.
The doctor diagnosed, 'The teen driver is going to be all right.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man went to the psychiatrist's office and started to explain his problem.
'I have this problem,' the man started, 'that I keep hallucinating I am a dog. It is just crazy. I don't know what should I do!'
'A common canine complex,' diagnosed the psychiatrist. 'No worries, come here and lie down on the couch.'
'Oh, Doctor, no...' the man said nervously, 'Dogs are not allowed up on the furniture.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

At a hospital everything went crazy due to the striking doctors. Hospital officials said they would find out what are the demands were as soon as they could get a pharmacist to read the wishlist of the striking doctors.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Doctor: It hurts very much when you do this, right?
Patient: Yes, it hurts very much.
Doctor: I see. Then do not do that.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Doctor, I have swallowed the color negative film from my camera by accident!'
'Well, we will just have to be patient and see what develops.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A fellow nurse received a call from a frightened patient at my hospital.
'I am diabetic and I am afraid I had too much sugar,' the caller said.
'Are you light-headed?' my colleague asked.
'No,' replied the frightened patient, 'I am a brunette.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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