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Computer Jokes

I would really like to answer your e-mail, but when I try my computer says: "PRESS ANY KEY". Well, my keyboard doesn't have an "ANY" key!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The workforce of the future will consist of a man and a dog. The man will feed the dog, and the dog will keep the man from touching the computers.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

'How much does Windows cost?' asked the client.
'Windows costs about $90,' replied the salesman.
'Oh, that's pretty expensive. Can I buy just one window?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An actual, cost saving Health and Safety advice from the computer company to its workers: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes."
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A woman was shopping in a computer discount store. She was looking for something good, still low priced.
'Why are the obsolete models all so expensive?' she asked the salesman.
'Because we have very limited stock of them, you are lucky we even have any,' he replied.
'Very limited stock? I read that all of the manufacturers have an overstock.'
'That is true. There is such a big supply and so little demand, it is not worth it to ship them!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The company's IT Support Department got a call from a user, who told that her computer was not working. She told everything about the problem and the IT guy decided to have a look.
'Thank you Sharon for calling the IT Support Department. Unplug the power cord and please come up to the 6th floor and I will fix it.'
About twenty minutes later Sharon showed up with the power cord in her hand.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A caller complained that his brand new desktop computer was doing nothing.
'It should do anything I wish for that high price!' he cried out.
'I see. First, please open a window to launch a specific program,' the technical support asked.
The conversation continued, but soon the caller asked if it might be okay to close the window.
'Please do not do that,' the technician asked.
'But it's getting very chilly,' replied the caller.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The exhausted businessman dragged himself home somehow, reached the sofa and dropped himself down after a terrible Monday. His wife was right there to comfort him with a tea.
'Oh dear, you look tired,' she said, 'What happened to you? You are so exhausted.'
'Oh honey, I am finally at home..., after a terrible Monday,' her husband answered, 'The computer system broke down and all of us had to think.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A new employee called the IT Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her account and there is a problem with her password.
'Whenever I type my password, it just shows stars,' she said.
'Those asterisks are to protect you,' replied the IT Help Desk technician. 'If someone were standing right behind you, they wouldn't be able to read your password.'
'Yes, but look, they show up even when there is no one behind me.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

My husband is working at a computer company. As a Christmas gift from the management the employees got silver cufflinks. One with "Ctrl" the other with "Esc" engraved on them.
I think this is an apt present for the men, reminding them of the two things they can never have.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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