Computer Jokes, Computer Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesComputer Jokes

Computer Jokes

A caller complained that his brand new desktop computer was doing nothing.
'It should do anything I wish for that high price!' he cried out.
'I see. First, please open a window to launch a specific program,' the technical support asked.
The conversation continued, but soon the caller asked if it might be okay to close the window.
'Please do not do that,' the technician asked.
'But it's getting very chilly,' replied the caller.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A shy IT technician, kind of a nerd guy decided to change his life and went on a luxury cruise. He started to enjoy the trip after a few days, but one night a terrible hurricane tore apart the ship. Miraculously he survived and ended up on a deserted island.
He was desperate after spending there months. Although he found a lot of coconut palms, banana trees, and a fresh water, he stuck to the beach, waiting for his saviors to appear on the horizon.
One afternoon a beautiful woman appeared in front of him.
They were extremely happy to see each other, they talked through the whole night. She was also a survivor of the same terrible hurricane.
'We have both been out here for a very long time with no companionship,' said the woman as they were watching the sunrise, 'You know what I mean, I guess... Haven't you been lonely, too? Isn't there some special thing that you really, really miss? Something that all women and men need? Something that would be really perfect to do right now...?
'Yes there is something,' replied the man, shucking off his shyness, 'I hoped for something perfect... There is something I have wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, being lonely... it was just impossible.'
'You know, it is not impossible, anymore,' whispered the woman.
The man was excited like was never before and told her with eyes wide open, 'You mean... you actually mean that there is a way to check our e-mails out here?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How many computer scientists do you need to change a light bulb?
A: Zero, that is a hardware problem.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How to be a geek?
A: When you hear the news on the radio, and the reporter talks about a backup caused by a crash, call and correct her that a backup is good protection in case of a crash.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

E-MAIL woman: Every ten things she says, nine are nonsense.
EXCEL woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for your a few basic needs.
SERVER woman: Busy when you need her.
WINDOWS woman: Everyone knows that she cannot do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
USER woman: She messes up everything and she asks always more than she needs.
MULTIMEDIA woman: She makes terrible things look beautiful.
VIRUS woman: Also known as "wife".
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Software testing steps:

Alpha testing:
First step in getting user feedback.
Alpha is Latin for: "doesn't work."

Beta testing:
Shortly before it is released.
Beta is Latin for: "still doesn't work."

Scheduled release date:
A delicately chosen date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting nine months from it.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

A woman was shopping in a computer discount store. She was looking for something good, still low priced.
'Why are the obsolete models all so expensive?' she asked the salesman.
'Because we have very limited stock of them, you are lucky we even have any,' he replied.
'Very limited stock? I read that all of the manufacturers have an overstock.'
'That is true. There is such a big supply and so little demand, it is not worth it to ship them!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

What does IBM stand for?

IBM = It's Being Mended
IBM = I've Been Mislead
IBM = It's Better Manually
IBM = I'll Buy Mac
IBM = Itty Bitty Morons
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Bill Gates died in a plane crash. He found himself in front of God.
'Hi Bill! I am not really sure whether to send you to heaven or hell. After all, you helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created Windows '95. So I'm going to let you decide where you want to go.'
'Oh, I see. What's the difference between them?' Bill asked.
'Visit both places briefly, it might help your decision.'
So Bill goes to hell. It's a beautiful sunny, sandy beach with palm trees, clear waters and lots of beautiful half-naked women running around.
'This is fantastic!' he told God, 'What heaven could like?'
So he is sent to heaven. It is a place high up in the clouds, with white-winged angels playing and singing.
Bill decided quickly, 'You asked if I choose heaven or hell, and I would prefer hell.'
So Bill Gates was sent back to hell. When God checked on him after a month, he found Bill in a cave, chained to the rocky wall, screaming amidst hot flames being burned and tortured by ugly demons.
'How are you, Bill?' he asked.
'This is brutal! I cannot believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, which I visited?
'Oh, Bill ... that was the screensaver...'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

I will never forget the first time I ran Windows, but I'm trying.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

Next 10 Computer Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Dedicated Republican
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!