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You are here: HomeJokesFarmer Jokes Chinese Torture Method

Chinese Torture Method

A young backpacker was lost wandering in the hills. He came upon a small house, so he knocked on the door. A very old Chinese farmer greeted him with a long, grey beard.
'Hi, I am lost,' started the backpacker, 'Can you put me up for the night?'
'Hi, be my guest,' said the Chinese farmer. 'But I have one rule in my house. If you lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese torture methods known to man.'
'Okay,' replied the backpacker, thinking that the daughter must be also quite old.
He entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was gorgeous, a beautiful young lady with an irresistible figure. She was attracted to the young backpacker, she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the dinner. It was very hard to ignore her, but those Chinese torture methods held back the guy. He went to bed alone, but could not sleep. After a while he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear a thing. Then he sneaked back to his room, exhausted, but endlessly happy.
He was awakened by a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a big stone on his chest with a note on it: "First Chinese torture method: big, heavy stone on chest."
'Well, that's quite strange,' he thought. 'If this is the best the old man can do then I don't have to worry at all.'
He picked the stone up, and threw it out the window. As he did so, he noticed another note: "Second Chinese Torture method: Stone tied to right testicle."
In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones were way better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the stone.
As he was falling he saw a large sign on the ground: "Third Chinese torture method: Left testicle tied to bedpost."
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