Children Jokes

Three girls are in the park bragging about their fathers. The first girl says, 'My Daddy is making money with writing. He puts a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a free verse and they give him $100.'
The next girl says, 'My Daddy is making money with writing, but he writes a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it lyrics and they give him $150.'
The third girls says, 'That is nothing. My Daddy making money with writing, and he scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. And he calls it a sermon. And it takes six people to collect all the money!'

A grandson ran up to his grandfather.
'Can you talk like a frog?' he asked with big open eyes.
'Of course not, kiddo,' replied the grandfather.
A few minutes later, his granddaughter ran up to him.
'Can you talk like a frog?' she asked with the same big eyes.
'No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this frog thing?'
The grandson replied, 'Dad promised that we can go to Disneyland when you croak!'

'Lily, what do you know about nuts?' asked the kindergarten teacher.
'If there are nuts on someone's chest they are chestnuts, and if there are nuts on a wall they are walnuts,' Little Lily replied.

On a flight to Miami, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.
The elderly lady sitting next to me told me that she was returning to Florida after having spent three weeks visiting her five children, ten grandchildren and five great-grandchildren in Phoenix. Then she asked about me, what I did for a living.
I told her that I am an educational psychologist, in spite of the fact that I expected her to ask me for free professional advice.
Instead she picked up the newspaper, sat back, and said, 'If there's anything you want to know, just ask.'

A little girl and a little boy were in a bathtub having a bath.
Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked, 'Can I touch that?'
The boy replied, 'No you can't touch this! You already broke yours off!'

After the church service a little boy told the preacher, 'When I grow up, I will give money donation to church.'
'Well, thank you little Pete,' the pastor replied, 'but why would you like to give money donation to church?'
'Because my dad says you are one of the poorest preachers we have ever had.'

One Sunday morning a little girl was having cereal for breakfast. When she opened the box of Cheerios she said, 'Look Mummy! Doughnut seeds!'

'Muuuum, why is daddy's face so pale?'
'Shut up and keep digging!'

Q: Do you know why Tigger is always so dirty?
A: Because he plays with Pooh.

A Sunday school teacher asked the children, 'And why is it so important to be quiet in church?'
'Because people are sleeping,' replied Nina.