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Children Jokes

Q: How does a rich, spoiled girl change a light bulb?
A: She says: "Daddy, I want a new apartment!"
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A sweet little boy, when someone asked his name, always replied: "I am Mr. Leghorn's son."
His mother told him this was wrong and he must say: "I am Freddie Leghorn."
In Sunday School the priest asked him, 'Aren't you Mr. Leghorn's son?'
He replied, 'I thought I was, but Mummy says I am not.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Never trust your dog to watch your food.
Do not answer when your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?'
Do not pull Daddy's finger when he tells you to.
Do not let your Mom to brush your hair when she is mad at your dad.
If you want a puppy, start out by asking for a horse.
When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mother when she is on the phone.
Never try to baptize a cat.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

A little boy returned from Sunday school with a whole new Christmas story in his mind. He had learned all about the three Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus.
He was excited, couldn't wait to tell his parents this whole new Christmas story.
As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began to talk.
'Today I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school! Back then there was not a Santa Claus, so three skinny man had to deliver all the gifts, on camels! And the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Rudolph wasn't there yet with his nose so bright, so they had to follow a big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A mother had been teaching her three-year son the Lord's prayer. For a month, every evening at bedtime, he would repeat the lines from the prayer after his mother. Finally, he decided to try it alone. The mother listened spiritually, with pride, right up to the end of the prayer, 'Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some E-mail. Amen.'
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(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

On a flight to Miami, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.
The elderly lady sitting next to me told me that she was returning to Florida after having spent three weeks visiting her five children, ten grandchildren and five great-grandchildren in Phoenix. Then she asked about me, what I did for a living.
I told her that I am an educational psychologist, in spite of the fact that I expected her to ask me for free professional advice.
Instead she picked up the newspaper, sat back, and said, 'If there's anything you want to know, just ask.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Two daughters played in a Christmas pageant at their church. That evening, at dinner, they argued who had the more important role in the Christmas pageant.
Finally the eleven year old said to her younger sister, 'Well, you just ask Mommy. She will tell you that it's much easier to be an angel than it is to be a virgin.'
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Q: Why did little John eat his homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
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A little girl ran into the family house and asked, 'Mum, can little girls have babies?'
The mom answered, 'No, sweetie, of course not.'
The little girl ran outside, yelling, 'It's okay, we can play that game again!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

A little girl went to primary school one day. While she was gone, her cat got killed. Her mother was very stressed about how she will take the sad news of her dead cat. Upon her arrival home, the mother explained the tragedy and tried to calm the girl saying, 'But don't worry, the kitty is in heaven now with God.'
The girl replied, 'What' will God do with a dead cat?"
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

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