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Children Jokes

Two daughters played in a Christmas pageant at their church. That evening, at dinner, they argued who had the more important role in the Christmas pageant.
Finally the eleven year old said to her younger sister, 'Well, you just ask Mommy. She will tell you that it's much easier to be an angel than it is to be a virgin.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

On our Christmas dinner my best friend asked my grandson when he would turn 5.
He replied, 'When I am tired of being 4.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

On a flight to Miami, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.
The elderly lady sitting next to me told me that she was returning to Florida after having spent three weeks visiting her five children, ten grandchildren and five great-grandchildren in Phoenix. Then she asked about me, what I did for a living.
I told her that I am an educational psychologist, in spite of the fact that I expected her to ask me for free professional advice.
Instead she picked up the newspaper, sat back, and said, 'If there's anything you want to know, just ask.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

At age eight it was inevitable for my daughter to have doubts about Easter Bunny.
Sure enough, one day she said, 'Mum, I know something about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.'
I took a deep breath and asked her, 'What is that, honey?'
She replied, 'They all come out after dark.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

The lifeguard ordered the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
'From time to time young children will urinate in a pool, everyone knows this,' answered the mother, giving him a lecture.
'Oh, you say so?' asked the lifeguard, 'From the diving board???'
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(So far it's 4.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

The mother returned from the grocery store. Her little son happily pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for.
Then, he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the dinner table.
'Bobby, why are you spreading the animal-shaped crackers?' his mother asked.
'It is written on the box that you can't eat them if the seal is broken,' little Bobby explained, 'I am searching for the seal.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A little boy was attending his first wedding, his sister asked him, 'Do you know how many women a man can marry?'
'Yes, I know, sixteen,' the boy replied.
His sister was amazed that he had the answer right at the first weeding service.
'How do you know that?' she asked.
'It's easy, all you have to do is add up what the bishop said. 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

A little girl and a little boy were in a bathtub having a bath.
Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy and asked, 'Can I touch that?'
The boy replied, 'No you can't touch this! You already broke yours off!'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Life stages - as seen in the holiday season:

1. You believe in Santa Claus
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus
3. You are Santa Claus
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The teacher decided to play a little taste testing game with the children on the first day of kindergarten.
'Children, we will play a taste testing game. I will blindfold you and give you a candy. You have to taste it and tell me what flavor it is,' she told them.
The first candy was a cherry flavored one.
'What flavor is that?' she asked.
The whole class answered, 'Yummy, that is cherry!'
'Very good, very good,' she replied.
So the next one was apple flavored, and they replied, 'Yummy, that is apple.'
'Very good, very good,' she replied again.
Then she gave them all a honey flavor. The whole class sat in silence by the strange taste, so the teacher said, 'Okay, I will give you a hint. It is something your parents may call each other.'
Sammy spat his out on the floor at once and yelled, 'Spit them out quickly! They're assholes!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

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