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Children Jokes

A grandson ran up to his grandfather.
'Can you talk like a frog?' he asked with big open eyes.
'Of course not, kiddo,' replied the grandfather.
A few minutes later, his granddaughter ran up to him.
'Can you talk like a frog?' she asked with the same big eyes.
'No, of course not. Why are you both asking me this frog thing?'
The grandson replied, 'Dad promised that we can go to Disneyland when you croak!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Two little girls were talking in the park.
'My name is Dorothy. What's yours?' asked the first girl.
'Ginny,' replied the second, 'My daddy is an accountant. What is your daddy's job?'
Dorothy replied, 'My daddy's a lawyer.'
'Honest?' asked Ginny.
'No, the regular kind,' replied Dorothy.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I want to have children, but my friends scared me. One of them told me that she was in labor for 29 hours.
I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 29 hours!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A little boy was attending his first wedding, his sister asked him, 'Do you know how many women a man can marry?'
'Yes, I know, sixteen,' the boy replied.
His sister was amazed that he had the answer right at the first weeding service.
'How do you know that?' she asked.
'It's easy, all you have to do is add up what the bishop said. 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

On one Easter Sunday Mass the pastor decided to have all the young children come forward to the front in their new Easter outfits for a sermon. He noticed one very pretty, golden-haired green-eyed little girl. She was wearing a beautiful light pink dress, covered with ruffles from head to toe. But somehow she had such a sad expression on her face.
The pastor didn't want anybody to be sad on an Easter Sunday mass, so he said, 'Lily, you look so lovely this morning in your ruffled pink dress. I know you will wear this a lot because it is so gorgeous!'
'I won't ever wear this ruffled pink dress again,' she replied sadly.
'But, you look so beautiful in that, honey,' said the pastor.
'Thank you, but I am sure will never wear this dress again,' she said sadly.
'Why are you saying that? Your ruffled pink dress is really really pretty.'
She replied still sadly but in a louder voice, 'Because my mum said it's a real pain to iron this!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Robby and Bobby, two little brothers were in the amusement park. They went by the haunted castle.
'Why do ghosts always moan and shake in the haunted castles?' asked Robby from Bobby.
'Because it is damn cold beneath those one-layered sheets!' replied Bobby.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Little Ken and Barbie were only 9 years old, but they've already knew that they were in love. One day they decided to get married. Ken went to Barbie's father to ask him for her hand.
He walked up to him and said, 'Mr. Park, Barbie and I are in love. I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.'
Mr. Park thought that this was the cutest thing ever, so he replied, 'Well Kenny, you are only 9 years old. Where will you live?'
Without any moment of thinking he replied, 'In my room. It is bigger and much more comfortable than Barbie's. We can both fit there nicely.'
Mr. Park found this adorable, Ken and Barbie were so cute and playful. He asked, 'How will you live? You have to get a job, but you are too young for that. You will need to support Barbie.'
Again, Ken replied instantly, 'Our pocket money. Barbie makes 7 bucks a week and I make 12 bucks a week. That is more than 70 bucks a month, that should do.'
By this time Mr. Park was a little shocked that Ken had almost all the details. So, he was thinking for a minute, trying to come up with something that Ken cannot answer.
'Well Kenny, it seems you know everything. However, I have one more question for you. What will you do if you have little ones of your own?'
Ken just shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Well, we have been lucky so far...'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 4 ratings)

Three girls are in the park bragging about their fathers. The first girl says, 'My Daddy is making money with writing. He puts a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a free verse and they give him $100.'
The next girl says, 'My Daddy is making money with writing, but he writes a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it lyrics and they give him $150.'
The third girls says, 'That is nothing. My Daddy making money with writing, and he scribbles a few words on a piece of paper. And he calls it a sermon. And it takes six people to collect all the money!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The mother returned from the grocery store. Her little son happily pulled out the box of animal crackers he had begged for.
Then, he spread the animal-shaped crackers all over the dinner table.
'Bobby, why are you spreading the animal-shaped crackers?' his mother asked.
'It is written on the box that you can't eat them if the seal is broken,' little Bobby explained, 'I am searching for the seal.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A little girl and a little boy were playing doctor. The little boy pulled off his T-shirt and pointed to his nipples.
'I have got two of these,' he said. 'How many do you have?' he asked.
The little girl pulled off her T-shirt and showed him her nipples, 'I have two.'
The little boy pointed to his belly button, 'How many do you have?'
The girl looked down showed him her belly button, 'I have one.'
The boy took off his trousers and pointed to his penis, 'How many do you have?'
The girl raised her skirt, but she couldn't find that particular organ. The little boy started to taunt her. She ran home crying.
After 10 minutes she returned and told him happily, 'My Mum says that when I will be 16 years old, I will have as many of those as I want!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

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