Car Jokes, Car Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesCar Jokes

Car Jokes

A radar of a police helicopter caught a speeding sports car. An officer pulled the car over and fined the driver.
'How did you know that I was speeding?' asked the frustrated driver.
The police officer pointed towards the sky with a serious face.
'You mean that even He is against me?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home in the afternoon.
'If you get in, I will give you a colorful candy stick,' he said.
The little girl kept walking. The man followed her slowly.
'Come on and get in the car with me. I will give you two colorful candy sticks.'
The little girl kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way.
'Get in with me and I will give you this whole bag of colorful candy sticks,' the man said.
Now the girl turned around to him and said, 'Look Daddy, you are the one who bought the Ford, so you will be the one ride in it!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Lulu and Barb were taking a vacation in Lulu's new green campervan. As usual, they had become lost and were circling around a weird town trying to find the highway. Lulu was just about going under a bridge when she slammed on the brakes.
'What the hell is that?' asked Barb.
'There is a sign, saying: "Low Bridge - No Vehicles Over Eleven Feet High" and my new green campervan is twelve feet!'
'Oh my God Lulu, just step on that gas pedal! There are no cops around!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A drunk man is lurching in the street, and suddenly he is hit by a passing car.
The driver steps on the brakes with two legs, jumps out and looks back at the drunk man.
'You fool, look out!'
The drunk raises his hand and asks, 'Why? Are you gonna back up?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Good afternoon! How long have you been driving without a tail light?' asked the policeman after pulling over a hippi barkas.
The driver jumped out, ran to the back of his car, and gave a painful, long groan. He seemed so upset that the policeman was eased up on him a bit.
'Hey, don't take it so hard. It isn't that serious.'
'It isn't? Then do you know what happened to my trailer any my surf?!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Bobby drove a minibus. He pulled up next to a young guy in a Lamborghini at a stop sign. Their windows were open and Bobby yelled at the young fellow in the Lamborghini, 'Hi, do you have a phone in that car?'
The guy answered, 'Yes, I do.'
'I have one too, can you see?'
'Yeah, that's very nice,' agreed the Lamborghini driver.
Then the minibus driver asked, 'Do you have a fax machine over there?'
'Actually, yes, I do.'
'I also have one here,' said Bobby proudly.
'Uh-huh, nice.'
The light was just about to turn green and Bobby asked from his minibus, 'So, do you have a double bed in back there?'
'No! Do you have?' asked the surprised Lamborghini driver.
'Yeah, right in back here, can you see?'
The light turned green and the minibus turned right.
Well, the young fellow in the Lamborghini went directly to a customizing garage and ordered them to put a double bed in back of his luxury car.
Three weeks later he picked up his car, and immediately searched for Bobby and the minibus. He finally found it, parked in a calm street. The Lamborghini driver got out and knocked on the minibus window. Bobby opened the window.
'Hello, remember me?' asked the young fellow.
'Sure, what's up?' asked Bobby.
'Check this out, I also have double bed installed in my Lambo!'
Bobby answered indifferently, 'And you called me out of the shower to tell me this?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A man was speeding down the highway. He felt secure among the other cars, as they traveled at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer fined him.
'Officer, I know I was speeding. But you know, this is not fair. The other cars around me were as fast as I. Why did I get the fine?'
'Do you go fishing sometimes?' asked the officer.
'Yes, sometimes I go fishing, why? Fishing and speeding are completely different,' answered the man.
The officer asked smiling, 'Yes, but look, did you ever catch all the fish?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

About three years ago the battery in my Ford had died. Unfortunately I left the lights on overnight. That morning I was in a hurry to get to work on time. I ran into the house to ask my wife to help me. I told her to get into our second car. That was a really old, elephantine car. I wanted her to push my car with that one, fast enough to start it.
'The Ford has an automatic transmission, therefore it is needed to be pushed at least 30 mph to start,' I explained to my wife.
She said fine, hopped into the car and drove off.
I sat there in the Ford, wondering what she could be doing. One minute later I saw her in the rear-view mirror coming at me at about 35 mph. There I realized that I should have been a little bit clearer with my instructions.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

After pulling an old farmer over for speeding, a the police officer started to lecture him about speed limits arrogantly. In the meantime he had to keep swatting at some flies buzzing around his head.
'Having some problems with circle flies?' asked the farmer.
The officer paused to take another swat and replied, 'Apparently yes, if that is what they are. I have never heard of circle flies.'
The farmer was pleased to enlighten the trooper, 'On farms, circle flies are common animals. They are called circle flies because they are circling the back end of a horse.'
The police officer stopped for a moment, then asked, 'Hey, are you trying to call me a horse's behind?'
'Oh, officer, of course not. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers for that.'
'That's a good thing,' the officer replied still arrogantly.
After a short pause the farmer added, 'Hard to fool them circle flies, though.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her driving license. He gets it, and says, 'Lady, you should be wearing glasses.'
The lady answers, 'You know, I have contacts.'
The policeman replies, 'I do not care who you know, you are getting a ticket!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Car Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Dedicated Republican
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!