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A real estate salesman made his first deal, and was very proud of himself. But he discovered that piece of land he sold was under water, completely.
He ran to his boss, 'That client will come here and be totally mad! Should I pay back his money?
'Pay back his money?' roared the boss. 'What kind of a businessman are you? A salesman's work never ends. Get out and sell him a house boat!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A manager is the person who believes that nine women can produce a child in one month.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The manager board's team building was held in the Pyrenees, climbing and hiking on the weekend. After long hours they got hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map again for some minutes, turned it up and down, looked around, consulted with his compass, and finally the sun.
He took a long breath and said, 'Okay, can you see that big peek over there?'
'Yes, we can!' answered the others with hope.
'Well, we are standing on that now.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Walking through the supermarket, a young guy noticed an elderly lady following him around. He could ignore her for a while, but when he got to the checkout line, she got in front of him.
'Pardon me, I'm sorry if I've been staring. You know, you look just like my son who died recently,' she said.
'I am sorry for your loss,' the young man replied, 'Is there anything I can do for you?'
'Well, as I'm leaving, can you please just say: "Goodbye, mother!" It would make me feel so much better,' she replied timidly and gave him a sweet smile.
'Sure, I can,' the young guy promised.
As she gathered her bags and left, he called out, 'Goodbye, mother!'
Stepping up to the counter, the guy saw that his total amount to pay was about $150 higher than it should be.
'That amount is wrong,' he complained, 'I only have a few groceries!'
'Oh, your mother has just said that you would pay for her,' explained the cashier.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Hotel: "Help us! We need inn-experienced people."
Chiropodist: "Time wounds all heels."
Butcher: "Let me meat your expectations."
Car seller: "Second hand cars in first crash condition."
Cannibal's home: "I never met a man I didn't like."
Suburban fence: "Salesmen welcome, dog food is pricey."
Car service station: "No appointment necessary. We will hear you coming."
Car dealership office: "The best way to get back on your feet is missing a car payment."
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

An artist asked the exhibition room's owner if there had been any interest in his sculptures on display at that time.
'Sean, I have good news and bad news,' the owner started. 'The good news is that a lady inquired about your work and wondered if your sculptures on display would have higher value after your death. When I told her they would, she bought all 20 of your sculptures.'
'That is just amazing!' the artist exclaimed. 'Then what's the bad news?'
'Well, this lady I was talking about was your doctor.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Two advertising colleagues are having dinner and talking. The young newcomer asks the older expert, 'Where has our colleague, Gina Wayne been hanging out? I haven't seen her for a while.'
The older expert replies, 'Haven't you heard? She went to the great agency in the sky.'
'Oh my God! You're kidding me, right? What did she have?' asked the young one surprised.
'No need to worry about it, nothing much, only a smaller soap account and a few discount stores, but nothing much worth going after.'
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(So far it's 3 point, based on 2 ratings)

1. To get the job done, a committee should consist of three employees, two of them absent.
2. Stealing ideas from one person is called plagiarism, however stealing from many is called research.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A salesman asked his manager how to handle people who complained about the current high prices compared to the low ones in the good old days.
He answered, 'Just act surprised. Tell them you didn't suppose that they were old enough to recall them!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Dumb and Dumber got into their air balloon to start a new adventure. However, after a few minutes a strong wind shook them wildly above the rocky hills. With great efforts Dumb and Dumber managed to keep the balloon stable and avoid the crash. But they were totally lost. A hiking trail meandered below, where soon they saw a woman walking. Dumb cried down to her:
"We are lost! Could you tell me where we are exactly?"
The woman looked down, looked up, looked down and up, then answered:
"You are in an air balloon!"
Dumb and Dumber looked at her puzzled when the wind suddenly picked them up, and the air balloon floated off. After a moment, Dumb said to Dumber:
"That woman must be a manager."
"Why?"
"For three reasons. Firstly, she took a long time to answer. Secondly, she was perfectly correct. Thirdly, her answer was totally useless!"
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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