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Blonde Jokes

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why does the blonde hate making Kool-Aid?
A: Because she can't pour eight glass of water in that little packet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A businessman got into the elevator. There already stood a blonde, who greeted him by saying, 'T.G.I.F.!'
'S.H.I.T.,' he replied smiling.
The blonde looked at him, puzzled, but repeated, 'T.G.I.F.!'
He nodded and gave the answer again, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde smiled, and still wanted to be friendly, so she repeated charmingly, 'T.G.I.F.!'
The businessman man smiled back, but the answer again was, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde finally gave up, and told him, 'T.G.I.F.! It means Thank God It's Friday.
The man replied, 'Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: The blonde threw the clock out the window, why?
A: To see how time flies.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde is looking for a job. She walks into the police department, maybe they can hire her. The police officer first asks her a few questions.
'What's 3+3?' he starts.
'Uhm, 6!' she replies.
'What is the square root of 10000?'
'Uhm, uhm, 100!'
'Very good! Now, let me change the topic. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?'
'Uhm, uhm, uhm... I don't know.'
'Go home, think about it, and come back here tomorrow.'
The blonde goes home. She calls one of her friends, who asks her if she got a job. The blonde answers excitedly, 'I did get the job, moreover I'm already working on a murder case!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why it is impossible to a blonde to add 10 and 5 on a calculator?
A: Because she cannot find the 10 key.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why did the blonde buy a dark brown cow?
A: She wanted chocolate milk.

Q: What goes, then suddenly stops, then goes then stops then goes again?
A: A blonde at a blinking red traffic light.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She wanted to listen to the radio in the mornings.

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
A: She is alone at home. Her husband is out. He is looking for the other man.

Q: Have you heard about the dead blonde in the wardrobe?
A: Yes, she was last year's hide and seek winner.

Q: Why do blondes flap their hands towards their ear rapidly?
A: They are refueling.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A philosopher, a scientist and a blonde go to Hell. At the gate they receive a challenge from the Devil. If they can scam him, they can go to Heaven. The scientist goes first. He has a very hard biological question, he hopes he can scam the Devil with that. But the Devil gets a book and answers it. The philosopher tries next, with a complicated question to scam the Devil, but question is instantly replied. The blonde is the next one. She gets a chair and drills four holes in it. Then sits down and farts.
'So,' she starts, 'which hole did the fart come out of?'
'That is easy,' replies the Devil. 'All of them.'
'No, you are wrong. It came out of my anus!'
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

In a hidden baroque palace a secret magic mirror hangs on the wall. It grants your wish if you tell the truth. But if you lie, you disappear. One day a redhead, a brunette and a blonde enter the palace and decide to try out this secret magic mirror.
The redhead goes first, 'I think I am the smartest girl in the world.'
"POOOF!" She disappears as she finishes her sentence.
The brunette tries next, 'I think I am the prettiest woman in the world.'
"POOOF!" Also, she disappears.
The blonde is the next one, 'I think...'
"POOOF!"
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Have you heard about the blonde who was so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a nursery school?
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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