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Blonde Jokes

Q: How do you get a blonde to climb to the roof?
A: Just tell her that drinks are on the house.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde had a new online business. She was about to lose it, so she went to the church to pray.
'God, if I win the lotto, I won't lose my new online business.'
She didn't win that week. The next week she was about to lose her online business and her Jeep. She went again to the church.
'God, I have to win the lotto, I don't want to lose my new online business and my Jeep.'
But again, she didn't win. The next week she was about to lose her online business, her Jeep and her apartment. She went to the church again.
'God, if I win the lotto, I can keep my new online business, my Jeep and my apartment.'
Then suddenly the blonde saw a shiny, white light, and she heard the deep voice of God saying, 'First buy a lottery ticket.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

On a four-engine plane there is a loud bang. The pilot informs the passengers, 'I am sorry, our first engine has just shut off. Our flight will arrive 30 minutes later to Newport.'
Then there is another loud bang. The pilot makes an announcement again, 'Unfortunately the second engine has just shut off. We will land another 60 minutes later.'
After that, again comes a loud bang. The third engine shuts off. The pilot tells the passengers that they will be delayed 2 hours.
The blonde passenger turns to the guy sitting next to her and says, 'Oh, man! We will be up here all day if the fourth engine shuts off.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How can you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a funny joke on Friday night.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Jennifer, the blonde heard that milk baths would make her skin beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Josh, to get her 25 gallons of milk. When Josh read the note, he thought there must be a mistake.
'She might want 2,5 gallons,' he thought, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Jennifer came to the door, and Josh said, 'I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk, but maybe you wanted 2,5, am I right?
Jennifer replied, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to take a milk bath.'
'Ohh, okay, would you like it pasteurized?'
Jennifer replied, 'No, just up to my knees.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She threw out the W's
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

"I am a blonde, hurray! I am a blonde, hurray! It's B! L! O! ... ? ... I am a blonde, hurray!"
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: The blonde threw the clock out the window, why?
A: To see how time flies.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

In a hidden baroque palace a secret magic mirror hangs on the wall. It grants your wish if you tell the truth. But if you lie, you disappear. One day a redhead, a brunette and a blonde enter the palace and decide to try out this secret magic mirror.
The redhead goes first, 'I think I am the smartest girl in the world.'
"POOOF!" She disappears as she finishes her sentence.
The brunette tries next, 'I think I am the prettiest woman in the world.'
"POOOF!" Also, she disappears.
The blonde is the next one, 'I think...'
"POOOF!"
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde is visiting the Paris Zoological Park. As she goes to the see the gorilla baby she comes across a vending machine. She has never seen this before. She stares the slot for the coins. After a few seconds she gets money out of her purse, puts 70 cents into the machine, and pushes a number and a letter. She is mesmerized by the precise machine, exactly letting out one chocolate bar. She repeats this again and again.
'Miss, can you please move? I would like to get some chocolate for my children.' says a woman after a few minutes.
The blonde replies, 'Excuse me, are you blind? I have a winning streak!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Blonde Jokes   >

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