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Blonde Jokes

One Sunday morning a pastor told his congregation that the church faced some extra maintenance costs before Thanksgiving. He asked the people to consider giving a little extra money in the offering plates that day. He added that whoever gave the most would be able to choose four hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor looked down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill there. He was so excited that he immediately shared his boundless joy with his congregation. He had never had that much extra money in the offering plates.
He said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A shy, blonde woman, Kate, raised her hand.
The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she walked there.
'It's wonderful that you donate this much for the church, so the works can be done before Thanksgiving,' the pastor said, 'Kate, choose four hymns.'
Kate's eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, she pointed to the three most handsome man in the church and said, 'I will take him and him and him!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A puzzled blonde walked into a bar.
She sat down and started chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender asked what she was doing, but she didn't answer, just kept chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
Soon more puzzled blondes came to the bar, all chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender again asked what they were doing.
One of them held up a kid's puzzle and said, 'The puzzle box says 2-5 years, but we put it together in 42 days!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How many blondes do yo need to change one light bulb?
A: Fifty. One holds the light bulb, the other 49 rotate the house.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

In a hidden baroque palace a secret magic mirror hangs on the wall. It grants your wish if you tell the truth. But if you lie, you disappear. One day a redhead, a brunette and a blonde enter the palace and decide to try out this secret magic mirror.
The redhead goes first, 'I think I am the smartest girl in the world.'
"POOOF!" She disappears as she finishes her sentence.
The brunette tries next, 'I think I am the prettiest woman in the world.'
"POOOF!" Also, she disappears.
The blonde is the next one, 'I think...'
"POOOF!"
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What is the same in blondes and vacuum cleaners?
A: They blow, they suck, and get laid in a closet.

Q: What is the same in blondes and bowling balls?
A: You pick them up, then finger them, then throw them in the gutter. And they will come back for more.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Once upon a time, a blonde became sick of hearing blonde jokes. In her anger she dyed her hair red, got her car keys and went for a long drive. In the countryside, she stopped to let a herd of lamb pass.
'If I can guess how many lambs you have, can I take one cute lamb with me?' she asked the shepherd. She always wanted a cute lamb.
'Of course,' he replied.
After a few minutes of thinking the blonde estimated, 'You have 268.'
This was the correct number. The shepherd was amazed.
'That is right! OK, I let you to take one lamb with you.'
The blonde finally picked one lamb which far cuter and much more playful than the others. When she was about to go on, the shepherd turned to her and asked, 'If I can tell your true hair color, can I have my dog back?'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Do you know what the definition of eternity is?
A: Four cars, driven by four blondes at a four-way intersection.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde is looking for a job. She walks into the police department, maybe they can hire her. The police officer first asks her a few questions.
'What's 3+3?' he starts.
'Uhm, 6!' she replies.
'What is the square root of 10000?'
'Uhm, uhm, 100!'
'Very good! Now, let me change the topic. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?'
'Uhm, uhm, uhm... I don't know.'
'Go home, think about it, and come back here tomorrow.'
The blonde goes home. She calls one of her friends, who asks her if she got a job. The blonde answers excitedly, 'I did get the job, moreover I'm already working on a murder case!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde was telling a preacher a Polack joke, when he interrupted her, 'I'm Polish, do you know that?'
'I am really sorry. Then I will start again much more slower,' she apologizes.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you!'
She then wrote a big red note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow at noon, put $25,000 in a bag and leave it under the highest tree at the playground. Signed, A blonde."
Then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home. The next morning the blonde checked, and a bag was there, beneath the highest tree. She looked in the bag and found the $25,000 with a note: "How could you kidnap a child of a fellow blonde?"
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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