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Blonde Jokes

A blonde needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you!'
She then wrote a big red note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow at noon, put $25,000 in a bag and leave it under the highest tree at the playground. Signed, A blonde."
Then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home. The next morning the blonde checked, and a bag was there, beneath the highest tree. She looked in the bag and found the $25,000 with a note: "How could you kidnap a child of a fellow blonde?"
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Do you know what the definition of eternity is?
A: Four cars, driven by four blondes at a four-way intersection.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde wanted to buy personalized license plates. Unfortunately she couldn't afford them. This is the story of changing her name to BNF652.
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(So far it's 3 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde had a new online business. She was about to lose it, so she went to the church to pray.
'God, if I win the lotto, I won't lose my new online business.'
She didn't win that week. The next week she was about to lose her online business and her Jeep. She went again to the church.
'God, I have to win the lotto, I don't want to lose my new online business and my Jeep.'
But again, she didn't win. The next week she was about to lose her online business, her Jeep and her apartment. She went to the church again.
'God, if I win the lotto, I can keep my new online business, my Jeep and my apartment.'
Then suddenly the blonde saw a shiny, white light, and she heard the deep voice of God saying, 'First buy a lottery ticket.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There were a brunette a redhead and a blonde working on the top of a building. They were eating sandwiches for lunch.
The brunette had a turkey cheddar sandwich. The redhead had a ham and cheese sandwich. The blonde had an tuna egg sandwich.
They all made a bet that if their mom's pack them the same sandwiches again, then they will jump off they building.
The next day they were at the top of the building. The time came, and they checked their sandwiches for lunch.
The brunette had a turkey cheddar sandwich. So she jumped off the building.
The redhead had a ham and cheese sandwich so she also jumped off the building.
The blonde had an tuna egg sandwich so she also jumped off the building.
At the funeral the three moms sobbed and scolded themselves.
'I shouldn't have packed her again turkey cheddar sandwiches for lunch,' said the brunette's mother.
'I should have packed her something else!' said the redhead's mother.
'I shouldn't have let her pack her own lunch!' said the blonde's mother.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What does TGIF mean on a blonde's T-shirt?
A: Tits Go In Front.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde was visiting Paris for the first time. She wanted to see the city from the Eiffel Tower, but she couldn't find it. She asked a police officer for directions, 'Good morning officer, could you tell me how to get to the Eiffel Tower?'
The police officer replied, 'Oui Madame, wait there at the bus stop for the number 52 bus. It takes you right there.'
She thanked the officer and went to the bus stop. One and a half hour later the police officer returned to the same street and saw the blonde still waiting.
'Excuse me, but to get to the Eiffel Tower, I said to wait here for the number 52 bus. That was more than an hour ago. Why are you still here, waiting?'
The blonde answered, 'Do not worry, it won't be long now. The 49th bus just went by!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A businessman got into the elevator. There already stood a blonde, who greeted him by saying, 'T.G.I.F.!'
'S.H.I.T.,' he replied smiling.
The blonde looked at him, puzzled, but repeated, 'T.G.I.F.!'
He nodded and gave the answer again, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde smiled, and still wanted to be friendly, so she repeated charmingly, 'T.G.I.F.!'
The businessman man smiled back, but the answer again was, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde finally gave up, and told him, 'T.G.I.F.! It means Thank God It's Friday.
The man replied, 'Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One day a blonde and a brunette were playing together over the brunette's house. The parents were out. They had a parrot, which they kept in a nice big cage. It was forbidden to touch it, the kids were not allowed to play with the parrot.
But after they left, the girls took it out. They were eager to play with the parrot. By accident the blonde ripped out one of its wings when she grabbed it.
'Now you've done it!' yelled the brunette, 'Go and buy another one just like that!' and she gave the money from her piggy bank.
'Okay, okay,' said the blonde, 'but it's hard to find a parrot with only one wing.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde walked by a store and she noticed a nice white television in the front window. She needed a new TV anyway, and it had lots of buttons and was at a discount. So she went in and asked for the nice white television from the front window. The salesman looked at her and said, 'Sorry, we do not serve to blondes.'
Hearing this the blonde stormed out. After arriving home, she still wanted this nice white TV. She decided to dye her hair brown. The next day she went to the store again and asked for the television.
'Sorry, we do not serve to blondes,' was the reply again.
She was desperate. She decided to shave off her hair. The next day she returned and asked for the nice white television from the front window.
'Sorry, we do not serve to blondes,' said the salesman again.
'How the hell you know I am a blonde?!' she cried out.
'We only have microwaves in the front window.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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