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Blonde Jokes

There are two blondes standing on opposite sides of a river. The first blonde yells across to the other, 'How do you get to the other side?'
The second blonde yells back, 'You are on the other side!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde went into the library and said, 'Good morning, I am here to see the doctor.'
The surprised librarian replied, 'This is a library.'
So the blonde lowered her voice and whispered, 'I am really sorry, I am here to see the doctor.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde had two horses. As she couldn't distinguish them, she asked her neighbor for advice. He suggested she cut the mane off one of the horses. The blonde did it, and it worked, but only until the other horse's mane hacked into the fence.
So the neighbor suggested notching the ear of one horse. She did it and it worked, but the other horse hurt his ear, it hacked into the wooden door frame.
So the neighbor suggested measuring the height of each horse. Sure enough, the black horse was three inches smaller than the white horse.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Have you heard about the blonde who was so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a nursery school?
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Jennifer, the blonde heard that milk baths would make her skin beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Josh, to get her 25 gallons of milk. When Josh read the note, he thought there must be a mistake.
'She might want 2,5 gallons,' he thought, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Jennifer came to the door, and Josh said, 'I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk, but maybe you wanted 2,5, am I right?
Jennifer replied, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to take a milk bath.'
'Ohh, okay, would you like it pasteurized?'
Jennifer replied, 'No, just up to my knees.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde walked into our insurance office. She wanted to to purchase coverage for her new motorcycle. There was one question, which confused her.
'Do you have a lien holder on the motorcycle?'
'I have got a kickstand,' she said, 'That is the same thing, right?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

In a hidden baroque palace a secret magic mirror hangs on the wall. It grants your wish if you tell the truth. But if you lie, you disappear. One day a redhead, a brunette and a blonde enter the palace and decide to try out this secret magic mirror.
The redhead goes first, 'I think I am the smartest girl in the world.'
"POOOF!" She disappears as she finishes her sentence.
The brunette tries next, 'I think I am the prettiest woman in the world.'
"POOOF!" Also, she disappears.
The blonde is the next one, 'I think...'
"POOOF!"
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde is robbing a supermarket. As they are there in the middle of action, a police officer walks in and sees what is happening. He tries to catch them, but they can run through the backdoor, and they find three boxes to hide in. The police officer follows and examines each box.
He kicks the first bag, and the brunette says "Woof!" in a deep voice. The cop thinks that it must only be a dog in that box, so he moves on to the next.
When he kicks the second box, the redhead says "Meow!" in a high voice. The officer thinks that it must only be a cat in that box, so he moves on to the last box.
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "Potato!" to the police officer.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde walks into a gas station. Her keys are left in the car, so she tells the cashier, 'I locked my keys in my car, unfortunately. I was wondering if you had a coat hanger maybe I could stick through the window and unlock the door.'
'Sure,' replies the cashier, 'I have better equipment to use, I will bring it.'
Some minutes later, the cashier walks to the car to see how the blonde is doing. He hears another voice.
'No, a little to the right,' says the other blonde inside the car.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Once upon a time, a blonde became sick of hearing blonde jokes. In her anger she dyed her hair red, got her car keys and went for a long drive. In the countryside, she stopped to let a herd of lamb pass.
'If I can guess how many lambs you have, can I take one cute lamb with me?' she asked the shepherd. She always wanted a cute lamb.
'Of course,' he replied.
After a few minutes of thinking the blonde estimated, 'You have 268.'
This was the correct number. The shepherd was amazed.
'That is right! OK, I let you to take one lamb with you.'
The blonde finally picked one lamb which far cuter and much more playful than the others. When she was about to go on, the shepherd turned to her and asked, 'If I can tell your true hair color, can I have my dog back?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Next 10 Blonde Jokes   >

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