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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde finish her puzzle in 3 years?
A: Because on the box it is written: "From 2-4 years"
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde walked into our insurance office. She wanted to to purchase coverage for her new motorcycle. There was one question, which confused her.
'Do you have a lien holder on the motorcycle?'
'I have got a kickstand,' she said, 'That is the same thing, right?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde walks into a gas station. Her keys are left in the car, so she tells the cashier, 'I locked my keys in my car, unfortunately. I was wondering if you had a coat hanger maybe I could stick through the window and unlock the door.'
'Sure,' replies the cashier, 'I have better equipment to use, I will bring it.'
Some minutes later, the cashier walks to the car to see how the blonde is doing. He hears another voice.
'No, a little to the right,' says the other blonde inside the car.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you!'
She then wrote a big red note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow at noon, put $25,000 in a bag and leave it under the highest tree at the playground. Signed, A blonde."
Then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home. The next morning the blonde checked, and a bag was there, beneath the highest tree. She looked in the bag and found the $25,000 with a note: "How could you kidnap a child of a fellow blonde?"
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde died. At the gates of Heaven St. Peter said, 'Before you can go through to Heaven, you have to pass a test.'
'Oh, no...' the blonde said.
'Do not worry, it will be an easy one. Who was God's son?' asked St. Peter.
After a few minutes of thinking, the blonde exclaimed, 'It's Andy!'
'That is interesting, why are you saying that?'
The blonde started to sing "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me..."
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Five blondes went to the club by their car, a nice red 4x4 pick-up. Four of them sat in the cab and one in the bed of the red 4x4 pick-up. The four blondes were in the club for about an hour before the fifth finally arrived. She looked frustrated.
They asked, 'What took you so long?'
She replied, 'Well, I had some trouble getting the tail gate open!'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There were a brunette a redhead and a blonde working on the top of a building. They were eating sandwiches for lunch.
The brunette had a turkey cheddar sandwich. The redhead had a ham and cheese sandwich. The blonde had an tuna egg sandwich.
They all made a bet that if their mom's pack them the same sandwiches again, then they will jump off they building.
The next day they were at the top of the building. The time came, and they checked their sandwiches for lunch.
The brunette had a turkey cheddar sandwich. So she jumped off the building.
The redhead had a ham and cheese sandwich so she also jumped off the building.
The blonde had an tuna egg sandwich so she also jumped off the building.
At the funeral the three moms sobbed and scolded themselves.
'I shouldn't have packed her again turkey cheddar sandwiches for lunch,' said the brunette's mother.
'I should have packed her something else!' said the redhead's mother.
'I shouldn't have let her pack her own lunch!' said the blonde's mother.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde went to work and saw that one of her colleagues had a thermos.
'What is that?' she asked.
'It is my new wonderful thermos, it keeps cold things cold, and hot things hot!' replied the colleague.
The blonde was so amazed that on her way home she bought one in the first shop.
The next day she went to work proudly with her wonderful new thermos.
The colleague asked her, seeing the thermos, 'What do you have in it?'
The blonde replied, 'Ice cream and soup!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde work in the same department. They share the same female manager. This female manager leaves work early every day. One day, they decided that when after their manager left, they'd leave also. She never called or came back after all. She will not know.
The redhead was thrilled to be home early. She went for a long walk with the dog and went to see a movie. The brunette spent the few extra hours in a beauty saloon. The blonde was happy and excited to be home early. When she got to her bedroom she heard a faint moan from the other side of the door. Quietly, she opened the door and was shocked to see her husband in bed with her manager! She closed the door and slipped out of the house.
The next morning, the redhead and the brunette asked the blonde about leaving early again to get a few extra hours. She said, 'Never again! Yesterday I almost got caught!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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