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Blonde Jokes

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Jennifer, the blonde heard that milk baths would make her skin beautiful. She left a note for her milkman Josh, to get her 25 gallons of milk. When Josh read the note, he thought there must be a mistake.
'She might want 2,5 gallons,' he thought, so he knocked on the door to clarify the order.
Jennifer came to the door, and Josh said, 'I found your note to leave 25 gallons of milk, but maybe you wanted 2,5, am I right?
Jennifer replied, 'I want 25 gallons. I'm going to take a milk bath.'
'Ohh, okay, would you like it pasteurized?'
Jennifer replied, 'No, just up to my knees.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A philosopher, a scientist and a blonde go to Hell. At the gate they receive a challenge from the Devil. If they can scam him, they can go to Heaven. The scientist goes first. He has a very hard biological question, he hopes he can scam the Devil with that. But the Devil gets a book and answers it. The philosopher tries next, with a complicated question to scam the Devil, but question is instantly replied. The blonde is the next one. She gets a chair and drills four holes in it. Then sits down and farts.
'So,' she starts, 'which hole did the fart come out of?'
'That is easy,' replies the Devil. 'All of them.'
'No, you are wrong. It came out of my anus!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

One day, a blonde went to go get helicopter lessons. She agreed the helicopter instructor that he will radio every 1000 feet in the air. At 1000 feet, she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he radioed her again, she was doing great. However, right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped and the helicopter started spinning to the ground. She landed luckily, the helicopter instructor went over to pull her out of the helicopter. He asked her what went wrong all of a sudden. The blonde answered, 'At 2700 feet, it started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A pilot was helping the new blonde stewardess to prepare for her first overnight stay. After the landing, the captain showed her the best places for shopping, eating and sleeping.
The next morning the new blonde stewardess was missing. He knew in which hotel she slept, so he called her room. She picked up the phone, crying, 'I can't get out of my room!'
'Why not, what happened?' asked the pilot.
'There are only three doors in here,' she said, 'one is the wardrobe, one is the bathroom, and the last one has a "Do Not Disturb" sign!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why does the blonde hate making Kool-Aid?
A: Because she can't pour eight glass of water in that little packet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A redhead walked into the pub and ordered, 'Pass me a B.L.!'
The bartender asked, 'What's a B.L?'
The redhead replied, 'A Bud Light.'
A brunette walked in next and ordered, 'Pass me an M. L.!'
The bartender asked, 'What's an M.L.?'
The brunette replied, 'A Miller Light.'
A blonde walked in next and ordered, 'Pass me a fifteen!'
The bartender asked, 'What's a fifteen?'
The blonde replied, '7&7, meh!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why it is impossible to a blonde to add 10 and 5 on a calculator?
A: Because she cannot find the 10 key.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde is looking for a job. She walks into the police department, maybe they can hire her. The police officer first asks her a few questions.
'What's 3+3?' he starts.
'Uhm, 6!' she replies.
'What is the square root of 10000?'
'Uhm, uhm, 100!'
'Very good! Now, let me change the topic. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?'
'Uhm, uhm, uhm... I don't know.'
'Go home, think about it, and come back here tomorrow.'
The blonde goes home. She calls one of her friends, who asks her if she got a job. The blonde answers excitedly, 'I did get the job, moreover I'm already working on a murder case!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

On a four-engine plane there is a loud bang. The pilot informs the passengers, 'I am sorry, our first engine has just shut off. Our flight will arrive 30 minutes later to Newport.'
Then there is another loud bang. The pilot makes an announcement again, 'Unfortunately the second engine has just shut off. We will land another 60 minutes later.'
After that, again comes a loud bang. The third engine shuts off. The pilot tells the passengers that they will be delayed 2 hours.
The blonde passenger turns to the guy sitting next to her and says, 'Oh, man! We will be up here all day if the fourth engine shuts off.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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