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Blonde Jokes

There was a nice big lake and there were two blondes. One was on one side and the other one was on the other side of the lake.
'How can I get to the other side?' yelled the first one.
The other blonde yelled back, 'Why, you are already on the other side of the lake!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two blondes are driving along a dirt road. They are passing a rye field, when they see a blonde in the middle of the rye field. She is rowing in a boat.
The driver blonde marks, 'This why we, blondes have this bad reputation!'
The other blonde replies, 'I know, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go and drown her.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3 point, based on 2 ratings)

Three blondes died together in a car accident on Easter Monday. As they were at the gates of heaven, St. Peter told them that they can enter if they can answer one, very simple question.
'What is Easter?' he asked the first blonde.
'I know, I know, Easter is the holiday in December when we decorate the tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'
'Wrong!' replied St. Peter harshly and asked the same question from the second blonde, 'What is Easter?'
'Oh, this is easy! It's a holiday, it is in November. Everyone gets together, eats a lot of turkey, and are thankful...'
'Wrong!' roared St. Peter.
He looked at the second blonde and shook his head in disgust.
'What is Easter?' he asked the third blonde.
The third blonde smiled confidently.
'I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus was betrayed and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified. He was stabbed in the side, had to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross. He was buried in a cave which was sealed off by a large rock.'
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight and acknowledgement.
The third blonde continued, 'Every year the rock is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. If he sees his shadow, there will be two more months of winter.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Why it is impossible to a blonde to add 10 and 5 on a calculator?
A: Because she cannot find the 10 key.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A puzzled blonde walked into a bar.
She sat down and started chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender asked what she was doing, but she didn't answer, just kept chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
Soon more puzzled blondes came to the bar, all chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender again asked what they were doing.
One of them held up a kid's puzzle and said, 'The puzzle box says 2-5 years, but we put it together in 42 days!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two bloggers were traveling through Peru. As they approached Huancayo, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the city's name. Around noon they stopped there for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one of them asked the blonde employee, 'Could you settle an argument for us, please? Would you pronounce where we are now, but very slowly?'
The blonde leaned over and said, 'Buurrrguurrr Kiiiinng.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

A blonde walks into a gas station. Her keys are left in the car, so she tells the cashier, 'I locked my keys in my car, unfortunately. I was wondering if you had a coat hanger maybe I could stick through the window and unlock the door.'
'Sure,' replies the cashier, 'I have better equipment to use, I will bring it.'
Some minutes later, the cashier walks to the car to see how the blonde is doing. He hears another voice.
'No, a little to the right,' says the other blonde inside the car.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A businessman got into the elevator. There already stood a blonde, who greeted him by saying, 'T.G.I.F.!'
'S.H.I.T.,' he replied smiling.
The blonde looked at him, puzzled, but repeated, 'T.G.I.F.!'
He nodded and gave the answer again, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde smiled, and still wanted to be friendly, so she repeated charmingly, 'T.G.I.F.!'
The businessman man smiled back, but the answer again was, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde finally gave up, and told him, 'T.G.I.F.! It means Thank God It's Friday.
The man replied, 'Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blind man and his guide dog enter a bar. They find their way to a bar stool. After ordering a red ale, and sitting there for a while, the blind man yells to the bartender, 'Would you like to hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls into uncomfortable silence. The woman next to him says in a deep voice, 'You should now something, before you tell that joke. I am blonde, the bartender is blonde. Moreover the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she is master in mixed martial arts. By the way, I am as well. The lady to your right is a blonde, who has black belt in karate. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind guy said, 'Mehh, not if I have to explain it four times.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The blonde cheerleader had just bought her new car. She decided to make a shopping tour with her blonde best friend. A few hours later they came out from the shopping mall with a lot of new clothes, and they realized that she had locked her keys in the car. Desperately they were searching for some kind of solution, trying to figure out what they could do. After some time the cheerleader looked up to the sky, and saw a big, dark storm cloud. She turned to her blonde best friend and said, 'Quick, think of something! A nasty storm is coming and I left the top open!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

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