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Blonde Jokes

Q: Why did the blonde finish her puzzle in 3 years?
A: Because on the box it is written: "From 2-4 years"
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: How do you get a blonde to climb to the roof?
A: Just tell her that drinks are on the house.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Have you read about the tragedy of the blonde couple? They were found in their car frozen to death at a drive-in movie theater.
A: Yes, they went to see "Closed for the winter".
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How do you know that a blonde has been using the computer?
A: On the screen there is a white-out.

Q: How do you know that another blonde has been using the computer?
A: You see handwriting on the white-out.

Q: How do you know that a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: You see a stamp on it.

Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger in your car?
A: You are allowed to park in the handicap zone.

Q: It is not good to give blondes coffee breaks. Do you know why?
A: It takes way too long to retrain them.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde went to a doctor. Her ears were both burnt.
'Sit down please. Tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.
'Well, I was ironing my dress. And I received a call, and I picked up the iron instead of picking the phone, and burnt my ear.'
'Okay, that is one ear. What happened to the other?'
'The guy called again.'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Mary Anne the blonde needed some extra money. She decided to go to the richer neighborhoods around town and look for jobs as a handywoman. She knocked on the door of a nice big house. A man answered the door and told Mary Anne, 'I have a job for you. My porch need to be painted.'
'That sounds great, I can paint the whole porch.' replied Mary Anne.
'Okay, how much will it cost?' asked the man.
'Is forty dollars OK for you?' Mary Anne asked.
'Sure, it's a deal. The paint and the ladder are in the garage, you can take them.'
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.
'Forty dollars! Does she know how big our porch is?' asked the wife.
'Well she was standing right on it!' her husband said.
About 20 minutes later, Mary Anne knocked on the door. 'It is done,' she told.
'Could you paint the whole porch?' asked the surprised man.
'Yes,' Mary Anne replied, 'I even had some paint left, so I put on two layers! And by the way,' said Mary Anne, 'that is not a Porch, that is a Lamborghini.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How can you make a blonde laugh on Monday morning?
A: Tell them a funny joke on Friday night.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Martin drove his brand new Audi to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it and went in. Jordan was a pretty, blonde saleswoman, and as Martin walked in, she greeted him immediately. He liked chatting with her, but today he wanted to look around alone.
Ten minutes later, Jordan ran to him, yelling, 'Martin! Someone has just drove off with your new Audi!'
'Oh holy cow, did you try to stop him?'
'No,' she replied, 'but I got the license plate number!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A redhead walked into the pub and ordered, 'Pass me a B.L.!'
The bartender asked, 'What's a B.L?'
The redhead replied, 'A Bud Light.'
A brunette walked in next and ordered, 'Pass me an M. L.!'
The bartender asked, 'What's an M.L.?'
The brunette replied, 'A Miller Light.'
A blonde walked in next and ordered, 'Pass me a fifteen!'
The bartender asked, 'What's a fifteen?'
The blonde replied, '7&7, meh!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One Sunday morning a pastor told his congregation that the church faced some extra maintenance costs before Thanksgiving. He asked the people to consider giving a little extra money in the offering plates that day. He added that whoever gave the most would be able to choose four hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor looked down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill there. He was so excited that he immediately shared his boundless joy with his congregation. He had never had that much extra money in the offering plates.
He said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A shy, blonde woman, Kate, raised her hand.
The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she walked there.
'It's wonderful that you donate this much for the church, so the works can be done before Thanksgiving,' the pastor said, 'Kate, choose four hymns.'
Kate's eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, she pointed to the three most handsome man in the church and said, 'I will take him and him and him!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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