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Blonde Jokes

Once upon a time, a blonde became sick of hearing blonde jokes. In her anger she dyed her hair red, got her car keys and went for a long drive. In the countryside, she stopped to let a herd of lamb pass.
'If I can guess how many lambs you have, can I take one cute lamb with me?' she asked the shepherd. She always wanted a cute lamb.
'Of course,' he replied.
After a few minutes of thinking the blonde estimated, 'You have 268.'
This was the correct number. The shepherd was amazed.
'That is right! OK, I let you to take one lamb with you.'
The blonde finally picked one lamb which far cuter and much more playful than the others. When she was about to go on, the shepherd turned to her and asked, 'If I can tell your true hair color, can I have my dog back?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Do you know what the definition of eternity is?
A: Four cars, driven by four blondes at a four-way intersection.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why does the blonde want breast implants?
A: So she doesn't have to pay the flat tax.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A businessman got into the elevator. There already stood a blonde, who greeted him by saying, 'T.G.I.F.!'
'S.H.I.T.,' he replied smiling.
The blonde looked at him, puzzled, but repeated, 'T.G.I.F.!'
He nodded and gave the answer again, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde smiled, and still wanted to be friendly, so she repeated charmingly, 'T.G.I.F.!'
The businessman man smiled back, but the answer again was, 'S.H.I.T.'
The blonde finally gave up, and told him, 'T.G.I.F.! It means Thank God It's Friday.
The man replied, 'Sorry Honey It's Thursday.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: It is so hard to build a blonde snowman. Do you know why?
A: Sure, because you have to hollow out the head.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

One Sunday morning a pastor told his congregation that the church faced some extra maintenance costs before Thanksgiving. He asked the people to consider giving a little extra money in the offering plates that day. He added that whoever gave the most would be able to choose four hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor looked down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill there. He was so excited that he immediately shared his boundless joy with his congregation. He had never had that much extra money in the offering plates.
He said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate. A shy, blonde woman, Kate, raised her hand.
The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she walked there.
'It's wonderful that you donate this much for the church, so the works can be done before Thanksgiving,' the pastor said, 'Kate, choose four hymns.'
Kate's eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, she pointed to the three most handsome man in the church and said, 'I will take him and him and him!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What is the name of the blonde's pet zebra?
A: Spot.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde walks into a gas station. Her keys are left in the car, so she tells the cashier, 'I locked my keys in my car, unfortunately. I was wondering if you had a coat hanger maybe I could stick through the window and unlock the door.'
'Sure,' replies the cashier, 'I have better equipment to use, I will bring it.'
Some minutes later, the cashier walks to the car to see how the blonde is doing. He hears another voice.
'No, a little to the right,' says the other blonde inside the car.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She threw out the W's
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

There was an early morning call at 4:00 in Julie's house.
She picked up the phone and a man asked, 'Is this 555-4568?'
'I am afraid no, this is 555-4569,' she replied.
'Oh, I am terribly sorry for the early morning call, I din't want to disturb you,' apologized the man.
'That's okay, I had to get up anyway to answer the phone.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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