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Blonde Jokes

A blonde is looking for a job. She walks into the police department, maybe they can hire her. The police officer first asks her a few questions.
'What's 3+3?' he starts.
'Uhm, 6!' she replies.
'What is the square root of 10000?'
'Uhm, uhm, 100!'
'Very good! Now, let me change the topic. Who killed Abraham Lincoln?'
'Uhm, uhm, uhm... I don't know.'
'Go home, think about it, and come back here tomorrow.'
The blonde goes home. She calls one of her friends, who asks her if she got a job. The blonde answers excitedly, 'I did get the job, moreover I'm already working on a murder case!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Do not do today that which can be put off till tomorrow.
Do not get lost in the shuffle, shuffle along with the lost.
Do not bite the hand that has your paycheck in it.
Do not blame me, I tell you, nobody asked my opinion.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Have you heard about the blonde who was so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a nursery school?
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She threw out the W's
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Once upon a time there was a prince who was cast under a spell by an old ugly witch. The curse was that the prince could speak only one word each year. However, he had the possibility of saving the words. So the following year he was allowed to speak two words.
One day he met a beautiful princess. She had amazingly ruby lips, long, golden hair, blue eyes like sapphire. He fell in love at first sight. He was determined. He will only speak two years after, and will tell her: "My love". Two years passed by, and he wished to say that he wants her to marry him.
Finally the seventh year of silence ended. Those years were beautiful, his joy knew no limits. He led the beautiful princess to the most romantic part of the green royal garden. They were surrounded by a hundred red roses.
He knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said, 'My dear love, will you marry me?'
The princess tucked a strand of her shiny golden hair behind an ear, opened her blue eyes, and opening her amazingly ruby lips she asked in wonder, 'Pardon?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

"I am a blonde, hurray! I am a blonde, hurray! It's B! L! O! ... ? ... I am a blonde, hurray!"
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde is visiting the Paris Zoological Park. As she goes to the see the gorilla baby she comes across a vending machine. She has never seen this before. She stares the slot for the coins. After a few seconds she gets money out of her purse, puts 70 cents into the machine, and pushes a number and a letter. She is mesmerized by the precise machine, exactly letting out one chocolate bar. She repeats this again and again.
'Miss, can you please move? I would like to get some chocolate for my children.' says a woman after a few minutes.
The blonde replies, 'Excuse me, are you blind? I have a winning streak!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two bloggers were traveling through Peru. As they approached Huancayo, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the city's name. Around noon they stopped there for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one of them asked the blonde employee, 'Could you settle an argument for us, please? Would you pronounce where we are now, but very slowly?'
The blonde leaned over and said, 'Buurrrguurrr Kiiiinng.'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

One day a blonde and a brunette were playing together over the brunette's house. The parents were out. They had a parrot, which they kept in a nice big cage. It was forbidden to touch it, the kids were not allowed to play with the parrot.
But after they left, the girls took it out. They were eager to play with the parrot. By accident the blonde ripped out one of its wings when she grabbed it.
'Now you've done it!' yelled the brunette, 'Go and buy another one just like that!' and she gave the money from her piggy bank.
'Okay, okay,' said the blonde, 'but it's hard to find a parrot with only one wing.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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