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Blonde Jokes

A philosopher, a scientist and a blonde go to Hell. At the gate they receive a challenge from the Devil. If they can scam him, they can go to Heaven. The scientist goes first. He has a very hard biological question, he hopes he can scam the Devil with that. But the Devil gets a book and answers it. The philosopher tries next, with a complicated question to scam the Devil, but question is instantly replied. The blonde is the next one. She gets a chair and drills four holes in it. Then sits down and farts.
'So,' she starts, 'which hole did the fart come out of?'
'That is easy,' replies the Devil. 'All of them.'
'No, you are wrong. It came out of my anus!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

A pilot was helping the new blonde stewardess to prepare for her first overnight stay. After the landing, the captain showed her the best places for shopping, eating and sleeping.
The next morning the new blonde stewardess was missing. He knew in which hotel she slept, so he called her room. She picked up the phone, crying, 'I can't get out of my room!'
'Why not, what happened?' asked the pilot.
'There are only three doors in here,' she said, 'one is the wardrobe, one is the bathroom, and the last one has a "Do Not Disturb" sign!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Three blondes died together in a car accident on Easter Monday. As they were at the gates of heaven, St. Peter told them that they can enter if they can answer one, very simple question.
'What is Easter?' he asked the first blonde.
'I know, I know, Easter is the holiday in December when we decorate the tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus.'
'Wrong!' replied St. Peter harshly and asked the same question from the second blonde, 'What is Easter?'
'Oh, this is easy! It's a holiday, it is in November. Everyone gets together, eats a lot of turkey, and are thankful...'
'Wrong!' roared St. Peter.
He looked at the second blonde and shook his head in disgust.
'What is Easter?' he asked the third blonde.
The third blonde smiled confidently.
'I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus was betrayed and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified. He was stabbed in the side, had to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross. He was buried in a cave which was sealed off by a large rock.'
St. Peter smiled broadly with delight and acknowledgement.
The third blonde continued, 'Every year the rock is moved aside so that Jesus can come out. If he sees his shadow, there will be two more months of winter.'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

A blonde went to a doctor. Her ears were both burnt.
'Sit down please. Tell me how it happened,' said the doctor.
'Well, I was ironing my dress. And I received a call, and I picked up the iron instead of picking the phone, and burnt my ear.'
'Okay, that is one ear. What happened to the other?'
'The guy called again.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

The helicopter came to save the lives of the ten women who were found on a deserted island. There were nine blondes and one redhead.
They caught the long rope, which was hanging from the helicopter, and the incredible flight began.
But one had to go to save the other's lives. During the incredible flight they proved to be too heavy.
No one could decide who should go, so finally the redhead said, 'I will get off.'
After a really touching speech from the redhead all of the blondes started clapping.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde were walking in the park when they spotted a $50 bill under the weeping willow. Who did get it?
Nobody, of course. The first three don't exist. The dumb blonde thought it was a piece of wrapping paper under the weeping willow.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why did the blonde buy a dark brown cow?
A: She wanted chocolate milk.

Q: What goes, then suddenly stops, then goes then stops then goes again?
A: A blonde at a blinking red traffic light.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She wanted to listen to the radio in the mornings.

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
A: She is alone at home. Her husband is out. He is looking for the other man.

Q: Have you heard about the dead blonde in the wardrobe?
A: Yes, she was last year's hide and seek winner.

Q: Why do blondes flap their hands towards their ear rapidly?
A: They are refueling.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What is first blond, then brown, then blond, then brown?
A: A blonde doing cartwheels.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Five blondes went to the club by their car, a nice red 4x4 pick-up. Four of them sat in the cab and one in the bed of the red 4x4 pick-up. The four blondes were in the club for about an hour before the fifth finally arrived. She looked frustrated.
They asked, 'What took you so long?'
She replied, 'Well, I had some trouble getting the tail gate open!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde walked into our insurance office. She wanted to to purchase coverage for her new motorcycle. There was one question, which confused her.
'Do you have a lien holder on the motorcycle?'
'I have got a kickstand,' she said, 'That is the same thing, right?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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