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Blonde Jokes

A blonde went into the library and said, 'Good morning, I am here to see the doctor.'
The surprised librarian replied, 'This is a library.'
So the blonde lowered her voice and whispered, 'I am really sorry, I am here to see the doctor.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A redhead, a brunette and a blonde went to a new confectionery shop together.
The redhead went to the counter and asked for a banana float without banana. The waitress was confused, but gave her the order.
The brunette went next, and asked for a coconut ice cream tower, without coconut. The waitress was really confused now, but she prepared that.
The blonde was listening to the other two orders, and she also wanted to order something special. So she went to the waitress and asked for an extra-large ginger ale without ginger.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why did God create brunettes after creating blondes?
A: So bad-looking men can have a chance.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A philosopher, a scientist and a blonde go to Hell. At the gate they receive a challenge from the Devil. If they can scam him, they can go to Heaven. The scientist goes first. He has a very hard biological question, he hopes he can scam the Devil with that. But the Devil gets a book and answers it. The philosopher tries next, with a complicated question to scam the Devil, but question is instantly replied. The blonde is the next one. She gets a chair and drills four holes in it. Then sits down and farts.
'So,' she starts, 'which hole did the fart come out of?'
'That is easy,' replies the Devil. 'All of them.'
'No, you are wrong. It came out of my anus!'
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

There was an early morning call at 4:00 in Julie's house.
She picked up the phone and a man asked, 'Is this 555-4568?'
'I am afraid no, this is 555-4569,' she replied.
'Oh, I am terribly sorry for the early morning call, I din't want to disturb you,' apologized the man.
'That's okay, I had to get up anyway to answer the phone.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Two bloggers were traveling through Peru. As they approached Huancayo, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the city's name. Around noon they stopped there for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one of them asked the blonde employee, 'Could you settle an argument for us, please? Would you pronounce where we are now, but very slowly?'
The blonde leaned over and said, 'Buurrrguurrr Kiiiinng.'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What was was the blonde's reaction, when she heard that the large majority of crimes occurs at home?
A: She moved.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde is visiting the Paris Zoological Park. As she goes to the see the gorilla baby she comes across a vending machine. She has never seen this before. She stares the slot for the coins. After a few seconds she gets money out of her purse, puts 70 cents into the machine, and pushes a number and a letter. She is mesmerized by the precise machine, exactly letting out one chocolate bar. She repeats this again and again.
'Miss, can you please move? I would like to get some chocolate for my children.' says a woman after a few minutes.
The blonde replies, 'Excuse me, are you blind? I have a winning streak!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why did the blonde buy a dark brown cow?
A: She wanted chocolate milk.

Q: What goes, then suddenly stops, then goes then stops then goes again?
A: A blonde at a blinking red traffic light.

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She wanted to listen to the radio in the mornings.

Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins?
A: She is alone at home. Her husband is out. He is looking for the other man.

Q: Have you heard about the dead blonde in the wardrobe?
A: Yes, she was last year's hide and seek winner.

Q: Why do blondes flap their hands towards their ear rapidly?
A: They are refueling.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young blonde wife called her mother in the middle of the night.
'Chris doesn't appreciate anything I do for him!' she cried.
'Oh my dear girl,' her mother said, 'I'm sure that was just a misunderstanding.'
'No, Mum,' replied the blonde wife. 'He yelled at me about the price of the frozen turkey I bought.'
'Well, that is shame,' the mother agreed, 'You have to buy the turkey for Thanksgiving.'
'It wasn't the price of the frozen turkey Mum, it was the airplane ticket.'
'Uhm, why did you need an airplane ticket?'
'Well Mum, when I went to fix it, I looked at the label and it said "Prepare from a frozen state", so I flew to Alaska.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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