Best Jokes, Best Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther

Best Jokes (Joke Toplist)

One Line at a Time (Joke Toplist No. 1)
By the time you can make ends meet, they have moved the ends.
By the time you find the right answers, no one is asking you the questions.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
By working conscientiously 8 hours a day, you may end up working 12 hours a day.
Capitalism is based on the belief that you can win.
Clearly given instructions will definitely produce multiple interpretations.
Yes, commit suicide. That many lemmings cannot be wrong.
Cocaine is nature's way of telling you that you have too much money.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Little White Goat (Joke Toplist No. 2)
A farmer and his beloved, new wife were visited by her mother. Her first thing to do was a throughout inspection of the goat farm, where they would start their new life. The farmer had tried to be friendly and welcoming, hoping that they can build up a harmonious relationship. But the mother-in-law kept nagging them at every opportunity, offering unwanted advice, demanding changes and generally making life unbearable to the couple. While they were walking through one pen, the farmer's little white goat suddenly kicked up in the air, and got the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. They were in shock in spite of the mother-in-law's behavior.
At the funeral the farmer stood next to the coffin and greeted the people. Whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he shook his head and mumbled something. Whenever a woman whispered something to the farmer, he nodded and mumbled something. The pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, 'The women said: "What a terrible tragedy!" and I nodded my head and said: "Yes, it is". The men asked: "Can I borrow that little white goat?" and I shook my head and said: "Sorry, I can't do that, my little white goat is already booked for a year".
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Chinese Laundry (Joke Toplist No. 3)
Walking through Chinatown, a backpacker saw a Chinese laundry with the sign: "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"
'Sigurd Kristiansen? How the hell does that name fit in here?' he wondered.
So he decided to check it out. He entered to see an elderly Chinese man behind the counter.
'How did this Chinese laundry get a name like "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"?' the backpacker asked.
The elderly Chinese replied, 'My name, I am owner.'
'Really? How did you ever get a name like Sigurd Kristiansen?'
'Many years ago when arrived at this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big Norwegian. Lady asked him: "What's your name?" He said: "Sigurd Kristiansen" Then lady asked me: "What's your name?" I said: "Seim Ting".'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

God Create Brunettes (Joke Toplist No. 4)
Q: Why did God create brunettes after creating blondes?
A: So bad-looking men can have a chance.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Don't Drive in Texas (Joke Toplist No. 5)
The U. S. Government decided to collect data on what people say right before they get into a car accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: "Oh, shit!"
In Texas 94% said: "Hold my beer. Watch this."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Sculptures on Display (Joke Toplist No. 6)
An artist asked the exhibition room's owner if there had been any interest in his sculptures on display at that time.
'Sean, I have good news and bad news,' the owner started. 'The good news is that a lady inquired about your work and wondered if your sculptures on display would have higher value after your death. When I told her they would, she bought all 20 of your sculptures.'
'That is just amazing!' the artist exclaimed. 'Then what's the bad news?'
'Well, this lady I was talking about was your doctor.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Survey on Sex (Joke Toplist No. 7)
Time magazine sent a survey on sex for women in the USA. The subject was Clinton's sex scandal. One of the questions was this: "Would you ever have an affair with Bill Clinton?"
The results were astonishing:
6% - No
4% - Yes
90% - Never Again
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 5 ratings)

The Boss (Joke Toplist No. 8)
Sam walked into a bar and found his friend Terry sitting at the counter.
'Terry, I'm happy to see that your wife finally let you out of the house,' said Sam.
'Things are different now with my wife,' Terry answered, 'the other day I decided to show her who was the boss.'
'How did you do that?' Sam asked.
'I said to her: "Sharon, right now I am going to show you who the boss is in this marriage!" And I don't want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.'
'Wow, how did you do that?'
'I was hiding under the bed.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Copy Machine Is Out of Order (Joke Toplist No. 9)
The copy machine is out of order every now and then in most offices. Instead of answering the same questions of the employees, a notice like this would do:

Yes, the photocopier is out of order,
Yes, we have called the service man,
Yes, he will be here today,
No, we don't know how long it will take,
No, we cannot fix the machine,
No, we don't know who broke it,
No, we don't know what is the root cause,
Yes, we are keeping it,
No, we don't know what you are going to do now.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Recent Interview on the Internet (Joke Toplist No. 10)
I saw a recent interview on the internet, with the old farmer who won twelve million dollars in the lottery. He was asked what he would do with all that money. He scratched his forehead and replied, 'I am not sure yet, but I think I will keep farming till it's all gone.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes of the Toplist   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)One Line at a Time
2)Little White Goat
3)Chinese Laundry
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)Survey on Sex
8)The Boss
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Recent Interview on the Internet
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!