Best Jokes, Best Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther

Best Jokes (Joke Toplist)

Little White Goat (Joke Toplist No. 1)
A farmer and his beloved, new wife were visited by her mother. Her first thing to do was a throughout inspection of the goat farm, where they would start their new life. The farmer had tried to be friendly and welcoming, hoping that they can build up a harmonious relationship. But the mother-in-law kept nagging them at every opportunity, offering unwanted advice, demanding changes and generally making life unbearable to the couple. While they were walking through one pen, the farmer's little white goat suddenly kicked up in the air, and got the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly. They were in shock in spite of the mother-in-law's behavior.
At the funeral the farmer stood next to the coffin and greeted the people. Whenever a man would whisper something to the farmer, he shook his head and mumbled something. Whenever a woman whispered something to the farmer, he nodded and mumbled something. The pastor later asked the farmer what that was all about.
The farmer replied, 'The women said: "What a terrible tragedy!" and I nodded my head and said: "Yes, it is". The men asked: "Can I borrow that little white goat?" and I shook my head and said: "Sorry, I can't do that, my little white goat is already booked for a year".
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

Chinese Laundry (Joke Toplist No. 2)
Walking through Chinatown, a backpacker saw a Chinese laundry with the sign: "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"
'Sigurd Kristiansen? How the hell does that name fit in here?' he wondered.
So he decided to check it out. He entered to see an elderly Chinese man behind the counter.
'How did this Chinese laundry get a name like "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"?' the backpacker asked.
The elderly Chinese replied, 'My name, I am owner.'
'Really? How did you ever get a name like Sigurd Kristiansen?'
'Many years ago when arrived at this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big Norwegian. Lady asked him: "What's your name?" He said: "Sigurd Kristiansen" Then lady asked me: "What's your name?" I said: "Seim Ting".'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Large Bag of Garbage (Joke Toplist No. 3)
An American tourist was in Moscow for a week. He had to get rid of a large bag of garbage from his an apartment. He searched and searched, but didn't find any place to the large bag of garbage. Finally he decided to go down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer.
'Hey you, what are you doing?'
'Hello, I have to throw this garbage away,' answered the tourist.
'Oh, look, you can't throw it away here. Follow me,' the policeman offered.
He led the tourist to a beautiful garden with green grass, colorful flowers, and freshly cut hedges.
'Here you can dump it.'
The American shrugged and threw his large bag of garbage.
'Thank you officer. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?' asked the tourist.
'No. This is American Embassy.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

God Create Brunettes (Joke Toplist No. 4)
Q: Why did God create brunettes after creating blondes?
A: So bad-looking men can have a chance.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Loan Officer (Joke Toplist No. 5)
A woman walked into a bank in Manhattan and asked for the loan officer.
'I am going to South-Africa for business reasons, for two weeks. I want to borrow $5000,' she explained.
'I see. Our bank will need some kind of security for such a loan,' said the loan officer.
The bank agreed to accept her car as collateral for the loan. So the woman handed over the keys of her brand new Bentley that was parked on the street in front of the bank. An employee drove the luxury car into the bank's underground garage.
Two weeks later the woman returned. She paid back the money, with the interest $19,9.
'We are very happy that you returned. However, I am confused. While you were away, we checked your accounts as the part of the protocol, and found that you were a billionaire. Why did you bother to borrow $5000?' asked the puzzled loan officer.
The woman answered, 'Nah, where else can I park my car for two weeks for twenty bucks in Manhattan?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Don't Drive in Texas (Joke Toplist No. 6)
The U. S. Government decided to collect data on what people say right before they get into a car accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: "Oh, shit!"
In Texas 94% said: "Hold my beer. Watch this."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Sculptures on Display (Joke Toplist No. 7)
An artist asked the exhibition room's owner if there had been any interest in his sculptures on display at that time.
'Sean, I have good news and bad news,' the owner started. 'The good news is that a lady inquired about your work and wondered if your sculptures on display would have higher value after your death. When I told her they would, she bought all 20 of your sculptures.'
'That is just amazing!' the artist exclaimed. 'Then what's the bad news?'
'Well, this lady I was talking about was your doctor.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

The Boss (Joke Toplist No. 8)
Sam walked into a bar and found his friend Terry sitting at the counter.
'Terry, I'm happy to see that your wife finally let you out of the house,' said Sam.
'Things are different now with my wife,' Terry answered, 'the other day I decided to show her who was the boss.'
'How did you do that?' Sam asked.
'I said to her: "Sharon, right now I am going to show you who the boss is in this marriage!" And I don't want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.'
'Wow, how did you do that?'
'I was hiding under the bed.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Between Us (Joke Toplist No. 9)
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Hey, just between us. Something smells.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Copy Machine Is Out of Order (Joke Toplist No. 10)
The copy machine is out of order every now and then in most offices. Instead of answering the same questions of the employees, a notice like this would do:

Yes, the photocopier is out of order,
Yes, we have called the service man,
Yes, he will be here today,
No, we don't know how long it will take,
No, we cannot fix the machine,
No, we don't know who broke it,
No, we don't know what is the root cause,
Yes, we are keeping it,
No, we don't know what you are going to do now.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes of the Toplist   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Little White Goat
2)Chinese Laundry
3)Large Bag of Garbage
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Loan Officer
6)Don't Drive in Texas
7)Sculptures on Display
8)The Boss
9)Between Us
10)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!