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Best Jokes (Joke Toplist)

Chinese Laundry (Joke Toplist No. 1)
Walking through Chinatown, a backpacker saw a Chinese laundry with the sign: "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"
'Sigurd Kristiansen? How the hell does that name fit in here?' he wondered.
So he decided to check it out. He entered to see an elderly Chinese man behind the counter.
'How did this Chinese laundry get a name like "Sigurd Kristiansen's Laundry"?' the backpacker asked.
The elderly Chinese replied, 'My name, I am owner.'
'Really? How did you ever get a name like Sigurd Kristiansen?'
'Many years ago when arrived at this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big Norwegian. Lady asked him: "What's your name?" He said: "Sigurd Kristiansen" Then lady asked me: "What's your name?" I said: "Seim Ting".'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

God Create Brunettes (Joke Toplist No. 2)
Q: Why did God create brunettes after creating blondes?
A: So bad-looking men can have a chance.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Don't Drive in Texas (Joke Toplist No. 3)
The U. S. Government decided to collect data on what people say right before they get into a car accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: "Oh, shit!"
In Texas 94% said: "Hold my beer. Watch this."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Sculptures on Display (Joke Toplist No. 4)
An artist asked the exhibition room's owner if there had been any interest in his sculptures on display at that time.
'Sean, I have good news and bad news,' the owner started. 'The good news is that a lady inquired about your work and wondered if your sculptures on display would have higher value after your death. When I told her they would, she bought all 20 of your sculptures.'
'That is just amazing!' the artist exclaimed. 'Then what's the bad news?'
'Well, this lady I was talking about was your doctor.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

The Boss (Joke Toplist No. 5)
Sam walked into a bar and found his friend Terry sitting at the counter.
'Terry, I'm happy to see that your wife finally let you out of the house,' said Sam.
'Things are different now with my wife,' Terry answered, 'the other day I decided to show her who was the boss.'
'How did you do that?' Sam asked.
'I said to her: "Sharon, right now I am going to show you who the boss is in this marriage!" And I don't want to brag, but I managed to get her on her hands and knees.'
'Wow, how did you do that?'
'I was hiding under the bed.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Dedicated Republican (Joke Toplist No. 6)
My neighbor asked me on his grill party why I was such a dedicated republican.
'My father and grandfather were republicans. I am carrying on the family tradition of being a dedicated republican.'
'Is that your reason?' said my angry neighbor, 'What if your father and grandfather had been chicken thieves?'
'Then I'd be a democrat like you, I guess.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Very Fast Country (Joke Toplist No. 7)
Q: Why is Russia a very fast country?
A: Because there the people are always Russian.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Brilliant Bach (Joke Toplist No. 8)
A married couple was trying to live a snobbish lifestyle. They went to a party, where they joined a conversation. The topic turned to Bach.
'Absolutely genius, magnificent, gorgeous!' they said.
The woman wanted to add something, so remarked casually, 'Oh, the brilliant Bach! You are so right. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 11 bus going to Coney Island.'
There was a sudden hush, everyone looked at her. Her husband went pale.
'We're leaving right now. Get your bag and let's get out of here,' he said as he pulled her out.
On their way home, he kept muttering to himself.
Eventually his wife turned to him, 'Why are you so angry?'
'Oh, honey, I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! You saw the brilliant Bach take the No. 11 bus to Coney Island? Really? Don't you know the No. 11 bus does not go out to Coney Island?
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Stoned Drunk (Joke Toplist No. 9)
Q: How does a person get stoned drunk?
A: Drink wet cement.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

I Started Out with Nothing (Joke Toplist No. 10)
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When sign makers go on strike, what kind of picket signs they have?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter. Nobody listens.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes of the Toplist   >

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TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2) God Create Brunettes
3)Don't Drive in Texas
4)Sculptures on Display
5)The Boss
6)Dedicated Republican
7)Very Fast Country
8)Brilliant Bach
9)Stoned Drunk
10)I Started Out with Nothing
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
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