Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

Cats are just like men:
1. They don't listen.
2. When you are trying to get things done, they want your attention.
3. They don't come in when you call.
4. They like to stay out all night.
5. When they are home, they like to be left alone and sleep.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

After the Easter egg hunt, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop when nobody was around and replaced every single egg with a nice, colored one. After the Easter egg hunt he had many nicely painted eggs.
About twenty minutes later the rooster walked into the chicken coop and saw all the colored eggs. Then stormed outside and pecked the peacock for a fight!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The dog is thinking:
I have a family which loves me. We play my favorite games. They scratch behind my ears. They give me food and water and they care for me. They must be gods!

The cat is thinking:
I have a family which loves me. We play my favorite games. They scratch behind my ears. They give me food and water and they care for me. I must be a god!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Thomas, who is noted for his manners, was awakened in the morning at 5:00 by his ringing mobile.
'Just called to say your dog is barking so loudly it's keeping me awake!' said someone angrily.
Thomas thanked for the call and politely asked his mobile number and name before hanging up. The next morning, precisely at 5:00 Thomas called his angry neighbor back, 'Good morning, Mr. Sherwood! Just called to say that I have no dog.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Which pillar can't hold up a building?
A: Caterpillar.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What do fish smoke?
A: Seaweed.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What did the snail say on the turtle's back?
A: Wheeeeee!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What do cats read in the morning?
A: Mewspapers.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

If you can start your day without caffeine,
If you can be happy, ignoring pains and aches,
If you can resist complaining to others,
If you can eat gratefully the same food everyday,
If you can understand that your loved ones sometimes are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people push their problems on you,
If you can take criticism without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep well without the aid of any drugs,
... then you are probably a dog or a cat.
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, the tourist's boat did tip over, and he fell into the water. His fear of alligators kept him on the overturned boat.
He saw an old beachcomber standing on the beach, so the tourist shouted, 'Hey! Are there any alligators around here?'
'No, they ain't been around for years!' came the answer from the old beachcomber.
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the beach.
About halfway there the tourist he asked the guy, 'How did you get rid of the alligators?'
'Actually, we didn't do anything, the sharks got them.'
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