Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

Q: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A snake and a rabbit crashed in the woods and began to argue who was the guilty one. When the snake mentioned that he had been blind since birth the rabbit said that he too. They forgot about their crash immediately.
The snake said, 'My greatest regret is that I have never been able to see my reflection in the water and I don't know what I look like. What am I?'
The rabbit said, 'We share the same problem. Let's touch each other from head to toe, and then try to describe it. Maybe we can figure out what we are!'
So they started, and the snake winded himself around the rabbit. He announced, 'You have soft fur, you are fluffy, with long ears, and you have a fuzzy ball for a tail. You must be a rabbit!'
The rabbit was delighted and proceeded to return the favor. He concluded, 'You are scaly, slimy, you have little eyes, you slither and squirm continuously. And you have got a forked tongue. I suppose you are a lawyer!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A famous magician started to work on a cruise ship with his parrot. The parrot every night stole the show by telling the secrets of the famous magician. One day the cruise ship sank, but luckily they survived in the lifeboat. For a few days, they just sat there looking at each other. The parrot broke the silence finally and said, 'Okay, okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Two hikers are walking through the forest when a gigantic grizzly bear suddenly appears in the glade in front of them. He sees the hikers and begins to run toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, pulls out a pair of sneakers, and madly begins to put them on. The second guys says, 'What are you doing? Sneakers will not help you outrun that gigantic grizzly bear.'
'I just need to outrun you.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What kind of dogs do vampires prefer?
A: Any kind of bloodhound.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What did the elephant ask from the naked man?
A: How on earth do you breath with that thing?
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What is the difference between a snarling Miniature Pinscher and a woman with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
A: Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

There was once a helmeted guineafowl who was friend of a bull. The guineafowl said, 'I have never been to the top of that plum tree. I would love to go there, but I miss the energy.'
'Well,' wondered the cow, 'why don't you eat some of my droppings? It's full of nutrients.'
So the helmeted guineafowl ate some and found itself on the first branch. The next day, it ate some more and it gave energy to get to the second branch. After a week of eating droppings, it was at the top of the tree. But soon it was spotted by a hunter, who shot the poor helmeted guineafowl.
Moral of the story: Bullshit may take you to the top - but it will not keep you there.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

If you can start your day without caffeine,
If you can be happy, ignoring pains and aches,
If you can resist complaining to others,
If you can eat gratefully the same food everyday,
If you can understand that your loved ones sometimes are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people push their problems on you,
If you can take criticism without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep well without the aid of any drugs,
... then you are probably a dog or a cat.
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Next 10 Animal Jokes   >

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