Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

A young punk and his dog walk into a pub. The punk announces, 'I will bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.'
'Yes, sure. Then please be welcomed and go ahead,' says the bartender ironically.
'Okay, you will see. Dog, what covers a house?'
'Roof!'
'How does sandpaper feel?'
'Rough!'
'Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?'
'Ruth!'
The young punk turns to the bartender, 'Pay up, man. See, my dog can talk.'
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out of the pub. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says, 'or is the greatest baseball player Willie Mays...?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Easter Bunny's advice:

1. Everybody needs a friend who is all ears.
2. There's no such thing as too much chocolate.
3. A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
4. Some body parts should be floppy.
5. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
6. Good things come in small sugar-coated packages.
7. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbit.
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(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

Q: What do the fish use to get high?
A: Seaweed.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

A cowboy was riding through his land when he saw a king cobra. He reached for his shotgun when the snake said, 'Don't shoot me! I am an enchanted king cobra. If you let me live, I will give you three wishes.'
The cowboy answered, 'Okay, first, I want to have a face like Brad Pitt, then I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally I want sexual equipment like the horse I am riding.'
The king cobra said, 'All right, when you step into your house, it will happen.'
The cowboy got back on his horse and rode back to his house. He stepped in, and saw a face just like Brad Pitt in the mirror. He ripped off his shirt and had big muscles. The he ripped off his trousers, looked down and yelled, 'Oh, what the heck, I forgot I was riding the mare!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: How does the cow entertain herself?
A: She goes to the MOOOvies.
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(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What do you get if you cross an apartment with a trout?
A: A flatfish.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What is the name of that big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
A: The Codfather!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A policeman is walking down the street when he sees a man with a rock tied to a dog leash. He decides to joke a bit. He walks up to the man and says, 'Hi, I really like your dog!'
The man looks at the rock, then at the policeman, and says, 'It is not a dog. It is a rock.'
The policeman replies, 'Sorry, I only wanted to joke,' and walks off puzzled.
As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the rock and says, 'We fooled the cop, didn't we Fluffy?'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

Two hikers are walking through the forest when a gigantic grizzly bear suddenly appears in the glade in front of them. He sees the hikers and begins to run toward them. The first guy drops his backpack, pulls out a pair of sneakers, and madly begins to put them on. The second guys says, 'What are you doing? Sneakers will not help you outrun that gigantic grizzly bear.'
'I just need to outrun you.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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