Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: HomeJokesAnimal Jokes

Animal Jokes

Two vampire bats wake up in the cave in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. The first says, 'Let's fly out get some blood!'
'We are new here,' says the second bat. 'It's so dark outside, and we don't know where to fly. We had better wait until the other bats come with us.'
The first bat replies, 'Who needs them? I am thirsty for blood right now. I can find some on my own somewhere.'
He flies out of the cave. When he returns, he is totally covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, 'Wow, from where did you get the blood?'
The first bat takes his bat buddy to the mouth of the cave. Points into the night and asks, 'Can you see that high black tree over there?'
'Yes,' answers the other bat.
'You know,' says the first bat, 'I didn't see.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What do you get if you cross an apartment with a trout?
A: A flatfish.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The dog is thinking:
I have a family which loves me. We play my favorite games. They scratch behind my ears. They give me food and water and they care for me. They must be gods!

The cat is thinking:
I have a family which loves me. We play my favorite games. They scratch behind my ears. They give me food and water and they care for me. I must be a god!
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: Carrot.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What is the name of that big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
A: The Codfather!
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A policeman is walking down the street when he sees a man with a rock tied to a dog leash. He decides to joke a bit. He walks up to the man and says, 'Hi, I really like your dog!'
The man looks at the rock, then at the policeman, and says, 'It is not a dog. It is a rock.'
The policeman replies, 'Sorry, I only wanted to joke,' and walks off puzzled.
As the policeman goes out of sight, the man turns to the rock and says, 'We fooled the cop, didn't we Fluffy?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

A horse walks into a pub and asks, 'Got any carrots?'
The bartender is confused, but answers the horse that no, they don't serve carrots. The horse thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the horse returns and asks, 'Got any carrots?'
Again, the bartender replies that, no, they do not serve carrots. Furthermore, have never served carrots, and will never serve carrots. The horse, a little disappointed, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the horse returns, but before he could say anything, the bartender begins to yell, 'Listen, horse! This is a pub! We do not serve carrots! If you ever ask for carrots again, I will take your horseshoes off and nail them to the wall!'
The horse is silent for a moment, but then asks, 'Got any hammers?'
Confused, the bartenders answers no.
'Good.' says the horse. 'Got any carrots?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

There are several ways of how to be a cat:

1. Leave your hair everywhere.
2. Be moody and unpredictable.
3. Expect others to obey your caprice.
4. Play with human only when he wants to be alone.
5. Don't play with human when he wants to play.
6. Whimper when you are satisfied
7. Whimper when you are not satisfied.
8. Do what you want.
9. Do not listen to anybody.
9+1. Basically be a woman in fur.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Easter Bunny's advice:

1. Everybody needs a friend who is all ears.
2. There's no such thing as too much chocolate.
3. A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.
4. Some body parts should be floppy.
5. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
6. Good things come in small sugar-coated packages.
7. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbit.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.75 point, based on 4 ratings)

This is how to successfully catch an elephant:
1. Dig a hole in the ground as big as an elephant.
2. Fill the hole with ashes.
3. Line the hole with tasty bushes.
4. When the elephant comes to eat the tasty bushes, you kick it in the ash hole.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Animal Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Dedicated Republican
10)Very Fast Country
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!