Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

Cats are just like men:
1. They don't listen.
2. When you are trying to get things done, they want your attention.
3. They don't come in when you call.
4. They like to stay out all night.
5. When they are home, they like to be left alone and sleep.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A guy was speeding on the highway when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across. He jumped on the brake pedal with both legs, but unfortunately the hopping Easter Bunny was in front of the car and was hit.
The basket of eggs and candy and chocolate went flying all over the highway.
The driver pulled over to the side of the road and got out. He saw the hopping Easter Bunny now was lying on the road, and it was dead.
The driver was an animal lover, a sensitive guy, and now he felt guilty and began to cry.
A woman, who was driving down the same highway saw him and pulled over. She got out of her car and asked what happened.
'I feel miserable, I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There won't be Easter because of me. What should I do?'
'Never mind, I know exactly what to do.'
She went pulled out a spray can from her bag. Then she walked over to the Easter Bunny and sprayed the entire can onto its fury body.
Miraculously, the Easter Bunny came back to life, collected the eggs and sweets, and hopped across the highway.
Ten meters away the hopping Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved, and hopped on down the road another ten meters. Then he turned, waved, hopped another ten meters, turned and waved again.
'What in heaven's name was in your spray can?' asked the startled guy.
The woman gave him the can. The label said: "Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave. Hair Spray"
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(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

A biologist was doing his experiments with frogs. He wanted to measure how far frogs could jump. He put a frog on a line and exclaimed, 'Jump, frog!'
The frog jumped 2 feet. He wrote in his notebook: "Frog with 4 legs - jumps 2 feet."
Next he chopped off one leg and repeated the experiment. 'Jump, frog!' he said.
The frog managed to jump 1,5 feet. So he wrote in his notebook: "Frog with 3 legs - jumps 1,5 feet."
He chopped off another leg and exclaimed, 'Jump, frog!'
Now the frog only managed 1 feet. He wrote in his notebook: "Frog with 2 legs - jumps 1 feet."
He continued the experiment and removed another leg. 'Jump, frog!' he said.
The frog somehow jumped 0.5 feet. So he wrote in his notebook: "Frog with 1 leg - jumps 0.5 feet."
Finally, he chopped off the frog's last leg. He put the frog on the line and said again, 'Jump, frog!'
The frog didn't move. 'Jump, frog!' he shouted. The frog still didn't move. So the biologist finally wrote in his notebook: "Frog with no legs - goes deaf."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

At the amateur golf championship one ball landed on an anthill. The player wanted to prove himself, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of sand, mud and ants exploded from the spot, but the golf ball stayed where it was. He tried another shot, didn't want to loose on the amateur golf championship. Clouds of dirt and ants went flying again, but the golf ball didn't even move.
Two ants survived. One ant said to the other, 'Oh, my dear God! What should we do now?'
The other ant answered immediately, 'I do not know about you, but I am going to get on the golf ball.'
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Q: What did the snail say on the turtle's back?
A: Wheeeeee!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why does the elephant stand on the marshmallow?
A: Because he doesn't want to fall into the hot chocolate.
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(So far it's 3.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Why entering the jungle is dangerous after 5 p.m.?
A: Because elephants jump out of trees after 5 p. m.!
Q: And why do beavers have flat tails?
A: Because they keep entering the jungle after 5 p. m.!
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'Hey, what is purple and jumps from tree to tree?'
'I dunno, what?'
'Squirrel.'
'Wait, but then why is it purple?'
'It choked on a nut.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: Which pillar can't hold up a building?
A: Caterpillar.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

A calm, gentle guy bought a yellow-naped amazon parrot. When he took it home, the bird did not stop cursing. It yelled inappropriate words all day long. It could swear for long minutes without any pause. The bird's nasty talk drove the conservative guy crazy.
One day the guy was fed up. He yelled, 'STOP IT FOR GOD'S SAKE!' as he grabbed the yellow-naped amazon parrot and put it into the kitchen cabinet. This just made the bird angry, so it shouted and cursed like never before. The guy got mad, grabbed the parrot by the throat, shook it hard and he threw it into the freezer. For the first few seconds there were terrible sounds of kicking and cursing.
Then suddenly, it got very quiet. Full silence. The guy waited, but somehow he started to worry. The bird might be hurt or frozen? After a some minutes of silence, he opened the freezer door. The parrot flew calmly onto his shoulders and said, 'I am really sorry for the frustration what I caused. I will do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on.'
The man was astonished. He could not understand this sudden transformation. Then the amazon parrot asked, 'By the way, what did the chicken do?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

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