Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

What is purring? Sound of a cat producing cuteness.
What is purrverse? A poem about a strange kitty.
What is purranoia? The fear that your cat is planning something.
What is purrpetual? Everlasting love for home felines.
What is purrpetual motion? A kitty playing arund.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

If you want someone to scare away burglars without a lethal weapon, buy a dog.

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him, buy a dog.

If you want someone who will never touch the remote control, doesn't give a damn about soccer, and can sit next to you on the couch as you watch romantic movies, buy a dog.

If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can simply push off if he snores, buy a dog.

If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you, buy a dog.

If you want someone always willing to go out, for as long and wherever you want, at any hour, buy a dog.

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are fat or thin, young or old, and loves you unconditionally, buy a dog.

But if you want someone who ignores you totally when you come home, who will never come when you call, leaves hair all over the place, runs around all night, only comes home to eat and sleep, walks all over you, and acts as if you only task is to ensure his happiness, buy a cat.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A young punk and his dog walk into a pub. The punk announces, 'I will bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.'
'Yes, sure. Then please be welcomed and go ahead,' says the bartender ironically.
'Okay, you will see. Dog, what covers a house?'
'Roof!'
'How does sandpaper feel?'
'Rough!'
'Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?'
'Ruth!'
The young punk turns to the bartender, 'Pay up, man. See, my dog can talk.'
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out of the pub. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says, 'or is the greatest baseball player Willie Mays...?'
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5+1 human shaming by dogs:

1. I made a trick which involved balancing food on my dog's nose.
2. I blamed my farts on my dog.
3. I fooled my dog by a fake fetch throw.
4. I yelled at him for barking.
5. I took him for a walk, then not let him to check stuff out.
+1. I put a jacket and a ribbon on her.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: Carrot.
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Q: What does the hind say when she comes running out of the woods?
A: I will never ever do that for two bucks again.
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Q: What animal is black, white and red all over?
A: The embarrassed zebra.
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Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice cream.
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Would a fly that loses the wings be called a walk?
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A freelance developer dropped into his partner's office. Nobody was there. He only saw a dog at the trashcans, emptying them. The developer stared at the animal. He wondered, 'Is this only my imagination?'
The dog at the trashcans looked up and replied, 'Don't be silly. This is just a part of my job.'
'Amazing!' exclaimed the man. 'I can't believe this! Does your manager know that you can speak?
'Of course not,' answered the dog. 'Please do not tell him! He will make me answer the phone as well!'
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