Animal Jokes, Animal Joke
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Animal Jokes

Q: What thing have a shape of a worm and smells?
A: Bird crap.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What will you get if you run over a macaw with a lawnmower?
A: Shredded tweet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A woman went to her preacher with her parrots. She was desperate.
'Father, my two female parrots only say one thing, which is: "Hi, we are prostitutes! Wanna have some fun?"
'That is terrible, my child!' said the preacher astonished. 'But I think I can help, I taught my two male parrots how to pray. They will teach your parrots to quote from the Holy Book.'
The woman agreed. When they met, the females said, 'Hi, we are prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?'
One male parrot looked at the other male parrot and cheered up, 'Our prayers have been answered!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What is the difference between a saloon and an elephant fart?
A: The first is a bar room. The second is a BAROOOMMM!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's bottom.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

At the amateur golf championship one ball landed on an anthill. The player wanted to prove himself, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of sand, mud and ants exploded from the spot, but the golf ball stayed where it was. He tried another shot, didn't want to loose on the amateur golf championship. Clouds of dirt and ants went flying again, but the golf ball didn't even move.
Two ants survived. One ant said to the other, 'Oh, my dear God! What should we do now?'
The other ant answered immediately, 'I do not know about you, but I am going to get on the golf ball.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

One day, an elderly man gets on a tram. Some minutes later a punk kid gets on with his orange, yellow, green and red hair. The elderly man keeps staring at him.
'What are you looking at, old man? I bet you never did anything wild when you were young!'
'Oh, kid, I screwed a parrot once. I am just wondering if you were my son?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'Hey, what is purple and jumps from tree to tree?'
'I dunno, what?'
'Squirrel.'
'Wait, but then why is it purple?'
'It choked on a nut.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

"Talking border collie for sale at a discount!" Showed the sign on the market. Judy walked there, as she was interested in the joke.
'Are you a talking dog?' she asked the border collie sitting there.
'Yes, I am,' replied the dog.
'Wow, what is your story?' she asked amazed.
The talking border collie looked up and said, 'Well, I was pretty young when I discovered my gift. I wanted to help the government. So I went to the CIA, and in no time I was their secret agent, sitting in rooms with world leader businessmen, politicians, or spies. None of them figured a dog would understand and give away their secrets. I was one of the most valuable spies of the CIA for six years. But this tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I started working at the airport to do some undercover security work. I sat or lied near suspicious characters to hear what they plan. I uncovered some outrageous dealings, I even won golden medals. In the meantime I found a wife, we have a bunch of puppies, and now I am just retired.'
Judy was lost for words. She asked the owner what was the price of the dog.
'Twenty dollars,' replied the owner.
'This dog is amazing, how it is possible, do you really selling him for twenty dollars?'
'Oh, yeah, you see, he is such a liar!'
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A woman let her dog out to pee late at night. When the dog returned she was shocked. In its mouth there was her neighbor's Maine Coon cat, dead.
'No, no, no...! Bad dog!' screamed the woman.
She couldn't make herself to admit what happened. Instead, she decided to clean it up and leave it on his porch. She took the Maine Coon cat into the bathroom and washed off all the dirt and blood and laid the cat down on the neighbor's porch during that dark night.
The next day, she was on her way to go to work and her neighbor was outside.
'Good morning!' he said.
'Hello!' she replied.
The neighbor said, 'Something strange happened last night.'
'Oh really? What's that?' she asked nervously.
'Well, my Maine Coon cat died yesterday. We buried him. But this morning he was lying on my front porch!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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