Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: Home
Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2020. August 14.)
Q: Why did the witch feed the cat with coins?
A: She wanted to put some money in the kitty.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The judge said to the defendant, 'I have already told you, I never wanted to see you in here again.'
The defendant agreed, 'Your Honor, that is exactly what I tried to tell the police. But they wouldn't listen.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Union members and their employer were negotiating about the employee sick pay entitlement. The union denied that their workers were abusing the provisions set out by their contract. Next morning in the meeting room, the company's negotiator showed a newspaper, and announced, 'This man called in sick yesterday!'
He pointed to a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had won a local swimming competition with outstanding speed. A union negotiator broke the silence in the room.
'Wow! Just think of the speed he could reach if he wasn't sick!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

An apparently drunk fellow goes into a bar through the front door and orders a drink. The bartender says, 'No way, you are too drunk.'
Five minutes later the drunk comes in through the restroom, again he mumbles, 'Give me a drink, please.'
The bartender says again, 'No buddy, I've already told you. You are too drunk.'
Ten minutes later the guy comes in through the back door and orders a drink again. The bartender says, 'Hey, you are too drunk!'
The drunk scratches his forehead and says, 'Damn I must be then. At the last two bars they said the same.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The inmate was sentenced to death by hanging. Throughout the week the guards were very kind. But every time they asked if he wanted something special for his last week, he said he didn't want anything special. It went on like this all week.
Finally, when he stood in front of the gallows, the guard asked if he wanted a blindfold, or a cigarette.
'No,' the inmate said, 'I am sentenced to death by hanging. So let's just get over with it.'
'Well, is there anything else that I can do for you before you go?' asked the guard.
The prisoner was thinking and said, 'Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like to do is to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, without any interruptions.'
The guard nodded.
The inmate started singing, '1000 bottles of beer on the wall, 1000 bottles of beer...'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A police recruit got his last question on his final test, 'What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother-in-law?'
He replied seriously, 'I would call for backup.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'I am afraid that I am going to have to lock you up for the night,' said the policeman to the drunk man in elf costume.
'What's the charge?' he growled.
'Oh, there isn't any charge. It is all part of the service.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Orange juice!
Orange juice who?
Orange juice sorry you asked?
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The night before Christmas the family went early to sleep. They were suddenly awakened by an explosion in the middle of the night. They ran outside and saw the outside toilet in a million pieces, with Santa Claus in the middle. He was shaking his fist at Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer: 'You silly reindeer of mine! I said the SCHMIDT house!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A blonde had a new online business. She was about to lose it, so she went to the church to pray.
'God, if I win the lotto, I won't lose my new online business.'
She didn't win that week. The next week she was about to lose her online business and her Jeep. She went again to the church.
'God, I have to win the lotto, I don't want to lose my new online business and my Jeep.'
But again, she didn't win. The next week she was about to lose her online business, her Jeep and her apartment. She went to the church again.
'God, if I win the lotto, I can keep my new online business, my Jeep and my apartment.'
Then suddenly the blonde saw a shiny, white light, and she heard the deep voice of God saying, 'First buy a lottery ticket.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)One Line at a Time
2)Little White Goat
3)Chinese Laundry
4) God Create Brunettes
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)Survey on Sex
8)The Boss
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Recent Interview on the Internet
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!