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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2022. January 28.)
The relatives gathered for the reading of the wealthy widower's last will and testament. They were eager to hear it after the long-awaited death. The lawyer read out the lines, 'Being of sound mind, I had spent every last dollar before I died.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Delighted by the delicious gift she had received, the girl said to the boy, 'On Sunday, at church, I will thank your mother for this appetizing cake.'
'If you don't mind,' the boy said nervously, 'would you please thank her for two cakes?'
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Business these days is like:

After all is said and done, usually more is said than done.

Afternoon - the part of the day we spend worrying about how we wasted the morning.

All good things must come to an end, we just want to know when they start!
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Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Hey, just between us. Something smells.
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An old lady called the Miami airport to book a ticket. 'I want to fly from Miami to Rhino, New York.'
The agent was loss for words. He asked again, 'Are you sure? Is that the name of the city?'
'Yes, what flights do you have?' asked the client.
After some searching, the agent answered, 'I'm really sorry madam, I have looked up every airport code, but I can find Rhino nowhere.'
The client was impatient, 'Oh don't be so gawky! Everyone knows where it is. Check on your map!'
The agent took a map of the state of New York and finally offered, 'You mean Buffalo, don't you?'
'That's it! I knew it was some kind of big animal,' was the reply.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

This is how to successfully catch an elephant:
1. Dig a hole in the ground as big as an elephant.
2. Fill the hole with ashes.
3. Line the hole with tasty bushes.
4. When the elephant comes to eat the tasty bushes, you kick it in the ash hole.
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A man was in no shape to drive after they had a Christmas party at the office. So he wisely decided to leave his car parked and walked home. As he was walking along with uncertain steps, a policeman stopped him.
'What are you doing out here at 3 a.m.?' asked the policeman.
'We had a Christmas party at the office, now I am going to a lecture,' replied the man.
'And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?' asked the policeman.
'My wife,' replied said the man.
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An English, a French and a Polish soldier were running away from the German soldiers. They decided to hide in the forest, climbing up to different trees.
When the Germans arrived, they went to the first tree where the English guy was hiding, and shouted, 'Hey, we know you're up there! Come down right now!'
The English soldier was thinking fast and said, 'Twit, twit, twit, twit...!'
The German soldiers moved on, thinking that was only a bird. They stood to the next tree, where the French guy was hiding.
'Hey, we know you're up there! Come down right now!' they shouted.
The French soldier was also a fast-thinker, and said, 'Woo, woo, woo, woo...!'
The Germans moved on, thinking that was only an owl. They stood to the next tree, where the Polish soldier was hiding.
'Hey, we know you're up there! Come down right now!' they shouted.
The Polish guy was thinking for a while, but finally said, 'Moo, moo, moo, moo...!'
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Two elderly people lived in a Florida mobile home park, he was a widower and she a widow. They had known each another for several years. Now, one evening there was a community dinner. These two sat at the same table. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her, gathered up his courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'
After consideration, she answered. 'Yes, I will.'
The meal ended and they went to their respective places in the Florida mobile home park. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say 'Yes' or did she say 'No'? He just couldn't remember. Not even a faint memory. He went to the phone and called her. First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to when he was younger. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained more courage, he asked her, 'When I asked if you would marry me, what was your answer?'
He was happy to hear her say, 'I said, "Yes, I will" and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so delighted that you called, because I just could not remember who had asked me.'
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A puzzled blonde walked into a bar.
She sat down and started chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender asked what she was doing, but she didn't answer, just kept chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
Soon more puzzled blondes came to the bar, all chanting, '42 days! 42 days!'
The bartender again asked what they were doing.
One of them held up a kid's puzzle and said, 'The puzzle box says 2-5 years, but we put it together in 42 days!'
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