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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
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(Last joke update: 2020. April 7.)
The copy machine is out of order every now and then in most offices. Instead of answering the same questions of the employees, a notice like this would do:

Yes, the photocopier is out of order,
Yes, we have called the service man,
Yes, he will be here today,
No, we don't know how long it will take,
No, we cannot fix the machine,
No, we don't know who broke it,
No, we don't know what is the root cause,
Yes, we are keeping it,
No, we don't know what you are going to do now.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The doctor, the engineer, and the lawyer were discussing about whose is the oldest profession. The doctor said, 'In the Bible on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and created Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession.'
The engineer argued, 'But, before that, God created heaven and earth from confusion and chaos. Therefore he was the first engineer, so engineering is the oldest profession.'
The lawyer spoke up, 'Yes, but who do you think created all of the confusion and chaos ?'
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Yo Mama's so fat, she fell in love and broke it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What is the season to be on a trampoline?
A: Spring-time.
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On a chilly Christmas afternoon, a cop on horseback was waiting at a traffic light. A kid rode next to him on his new, red bike.
The cop said, 'What a nice new, red bike you have there. Is this a gift from Santa?'
The kid replied, 'Yes, it is.'
The cop said, 'Well, tell Santa to put a taillight on that nice red bike next year,' and he gave the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation fine.
The kid took it and asked back, 'This nice horse you have, is this a gift from Santa?'
Humoring the kid, the cop replied, 'Yes, he brought it.'
The kid said, 'Well, tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top next year.'
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A young couple got married. Two days later they were sipping their cocktails on a Mexican beach on their honeymoon. Three weeks later they got home, tanned and relaxed. It was time to sort out their wedding presents. In their mailbox they also found something, it was an invitation for a fancy art gallery opening.
They were very excited, this gesture was so nice. But there was no signature, so they had no clue who to thank for. Anyway, they went to the art gallery opening, and had a wonderful time there. Late at night, when they returned, they still were chatting about the secret gift sender. But soon they were shocked, the house was fully open and every valuable things had disappeared.
On the fridge they found one note: "Now you know from who!"
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The pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing on the water due to aircraft engine malfunction.
A few minutes later, he asked the stewardess if everyone was buckled in and ready.
'Everything is OK, Captain,' she replied, 'except that the lawyers are still going up and down passing out business cards.'
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A lady walks into a Bugatti dealership. She looks around, and after a minute she spots the perfect car. She walks over to get a closer look. As she bends to feel the quality leather upholstery, a very loud fart escapes her. Her face turns to red, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed the little accident. She hopes that a salesperson doesn't pop up right now. But as she turns back, there is one, standing next to her.
'Good morning, Madame. How can I help you today?'
Very uncomfortably she says, 'Good morning, what is the price of this lovely car?'
The salesperson answers, 'Madame, if you farted just touching it, you are going to shit when I tell you the price.'
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Q: What is the difference between a bucket of dirt and a lawyer?
A: The bucket.

Q: You are in a room with a lawyer, Saddam Hussein and Adolf Hitler. You have a gun with two bullets. Who do you shoot?
A: The lawyer, twice. Just to make sure he is dead.

Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God does not think he's a lawyer.

Q: Why did the post office stopped issuing lawyer stamps?
A: People did not know which side to spit on.

Q: Do you know where I can find a good lawyer?
A: Sure, in the cemetery.
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Q: What thing have a shape of a worm and smells?
A: Bird crap.
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