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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. March 8.)
The African lie-detector is a very efficient thing. The police places a metal ring on the suspect's head, and connects it with some wires to a photocopy machine. One sheet of paper is placed in the machine, with the sentence: "It is a lie."
The policemen simply press the copy button each time they think the suspect is lying. All the suspects confess.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

What can I say, when my boss catches me sleeping at my desk?

1. 'Oh, they told me at the blood bank this might happen.'
2. 'This is one of the five habits of highly effective people.'
3. 'This is the 10-minute power-nap. The trainer raved about in the latest management course you sent me to.'
4. 'Someone must have put decaf in the wrong mug.'
5. 'I was not sleeping at my desk, I was meditating on the company's mission statement!'
6. 'I'm currently doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan". They taught it at the latest mandatory seminar.'
7. 'Hey, why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out the perfect solution to our biggest problem.'
8. 'Boss, I was doing a highly specific yoga exercise to relieve work related stress.'
9. 'I was not sleeping at my desk. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without using hands.'
9+1. 'Amen.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Come and join the army!

Intelligence spy satellite may be used to watch television 24/7!
Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flyer miles!
Where else could you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides Chicago, Detroit and New York?
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

The Bible school teacher took over a class. He asked little Linda, 'Who broke down the walls of Jericho?'
Little Linda replied, 'It wasn't me, I swear!'
The teacher was taken aback by the lack of basic Bible knowledge. He went to the school principal and informed him about what had just happened.
The principal replied, 'I know Little Linda very well. She and her whole family is reliable. If she said that she did not do it, then I, as principal, know that this is the truth.'
Outraged, the teacher went to the regional dead of education. There he also told the story.
After listening the regional head replied, 'I cannot see why you are making such a big hassle out of this. Simply go, get three quotes and fix that wall!'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

An American sales representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
'In the US anyone can pick up any phone and dial 911. This records the call and connect them with the police,' started the American sales representative.
The Russian replied, 'In Russia there is no need to dial anything.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

On Monday morning the new business manager walked into his office. He sat in his new chair and settled into his new desk. As he opened the bottom drawer, he found four white envelopes.
They all had a number written on them.
He opened the first white envelope. There was a letter inside from his predecessor: "These other three white envelopes will save you in hard times. In case of emergency, open these envelopes in sequential order."
The business manager shrugged, put the envelopes back, and totally forgot about them.
One year later, the employees went on a strike. The company was loosing money fast, they had to close down the factory.
After a long night of negotiating with the union, he remembered the white envelopes.
He opened the first one: "Blame me, your predecessor for everything!" said the letter inside.
Indeed, it worked. The crisis came to its end. His job was saved, and everybody was happy.
Some months later, another strike hit. He went directly to the drawer and opened the second white envelope: "Blame the government for everything!"
It worked. His job was saved once again.
Two months later the workers declared another strike. Again. The manager went to open the third white envelope. The letter inside said: "Prepare four new white envelopes."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Have you heard about the old redneck who shot his wife dead?
A: Yes, he had some lawyer, who got him off scot-free, saying, 'Have a heart, Judge. After all, my client is a widower.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

When my coworker became engaged, our colleague became a wedding expert, and offered her some advice. 'The first eight years are the hardest.'
'And how long have you been married?' she asked.
'Eight years,' replied the colleague.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two bloggers were traveling through Peru. As they approached Huancayo, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the city's name. Around noon they stopped there for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one of them asked the blonde employee, 'Could you settle an argument for us, please? Would you pronounce where we are now, but very slowly?'
The blonde leaned over and said, 'Buurrrguurrr Kiiiinng.'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Little Louis was lost in the city zoo. He went to a policeman and said, 'Officer, I have lost my dad!'
The policeman asked, 'What's he like?'
Little Louis answered, 'Beer and women.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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