Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: Home
Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. June 15.)
Mrs. Cooper was reading a short letter at dinner. Suddenly she looked up suspiciously at her husband.
'Sam, I received a short letter from my mother saying she isn't accepting our invitation to come and stay. She is saying that in fact we do not want her. What does she mean by that? I told you to write that she was to come at her own convenience, didn't I?'
'Oh...! Yes, you did,' answered the husband. 'But... I couldn't spell "convenience", so I wrote "risk".'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The U.S. President was walking in the garden of the White House on a beautiful snowy day, when he saw that someone had urinated on the snow. It could be spelled out: "The President Sucks." In his fury, he called the secret service to find out who had done it. In two hours, they came to him.
'There is some bad news and worse news. The bad news is that this is the Vice President's urine.'
'Oh my god, how could he do this to me? You told me there were some bad news and worse news. What could be worse than this?'
'This is the first lady's handwriting.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

At age eight it was inevitable for my daughter to have doubts about Easter Bunny.
Sure enough, one day she said, 'Mum, I know something about the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy.'
I took a deep breath and asked her, 'What is that, honey?'
She replied, 'They all come out after dark.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

I was flying from Mexico to Chicago. We had to stop in Dallas on our way to fill up the fuel tank. The stewardess explained that there would be a delay, and if we wanted to get off the aircraft, we could, but have to come back is 45 minutes.
Everybody got off the plane except one elderly man who was blind. I could tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him. I also saw that he had a seeing eye dog.
'Mark, we're in Dallas for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?'
Mark replied, 'No Sam, thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch her legs.'
All the people who looked up came to a complete stand still when saw the pilot walk off the plane with the seeing eye dog. The pilot was even wearing sunglasses.
The passengers rushed to the information desks where they not only tried to change planes, they also were trying to change airlines.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

It had been a long day, and the seven Founding Fathers were sitting around a wooden table sometime in 1776, working on the constitution.
Father 1: Oh, don't you think that it is getting rather warm in here?
Father 2: Shall I open the windows?
Father 1: No, thank you. I'll just take off my jacket, and roll up my sleeves.
Father 2: Hey, that's a good idea. Let's include that in the constitution.
Father 1: What? That we are allowed to take our jackets off and roll up our sleeves?
Father 2: Yes, but that does not sound very sophisticated. Maybe "Everyone shall have the right to bare arms?"
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A cowboy was riding through his land when he saw a king cobra. He reached for his shotgun when the snake said, 'Don't shoot me! I am an enchanted king cobra. If you let me live, I will give you three wishes.'
The cowboy answered, 'Okay, first, I want to have a face like Brad Pitt, then I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger, and finally I want sexual equipment like the horse I am riding.'
The king cobra said, 'All right, when you step into your house, it will happen.'
The cowboy got back on his horse and rode back to his house. He stepped in, and saw a face just like Brad Pitt in the mirror. He ripped off his shirt and had big muscles. The he ripped off his trousers, looked down and yelled, 'Oh, what the heck, I forgot I was riding the mare!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Never miss an opportunity. Give 100% at work.
20% Monday
22% Tuesday
18% Wednesday
30% Thursday
10% Friday
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A caller complained that his brand new desktop computer was doing nothing.
'It should do anything I wish for that high price!' he cried out.
'I see. First, please open a window to launch a specific program,' the technical support asked.
The conversation continued, but soon the caller asked if it might be okay to close the window.
'Please do not do that,' the technician asked.
'But it's getting very chilly,' replied the caller.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Your husband doesn't get lost all the time. He keeps discovering alternative destinations.
Your husband doesn't belch and fart. He is just gastronomically expressive.
Your husband isn't a redneck. He is a genetically related american.
Your husband doesn't fall down drunk. He just becomes accidentally horizontal.
Your husband isn't short. He is anatomically compact.
Your husband isn't dumb. He is just socially malformed.
Your husband doesn't eat like a pig. He suffers from reverse bulimia.
Your husband is not quiet. He is a conversational minimalist.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A policeman had just finished his night shift and arrived at home.
'Honey, you just won't believe what happened this night! I've never seen anything like this during my years working as a policeman.'
'Oh dear, what happened?' asked the wife.
'I came across two guys. One of them happened to eat fireworks, the other was drinking battery acid.'
'Drinking battery acid and eating fireworks? Are you sure? What did you do with them?
'That was a piece of cake. I charged one and let the other off.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Dedicated Republican
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!