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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. June 13.)
Q: How many smart, honest, caring, handsome men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A: Both of them.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were traveling by train through Hungary, when they saw a black sheep on a field.
'I see that Hungarian sheep are black,' said the engineer.
'Hmm,' said the physicist, 'I suppose you mean that some Hungarian sheep are black.'
'No,' said the mathematician, 'we only know is that there is at least one sheep in Hungary and at least one side of that one sheep is black!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: Why are goldfish orange?
A: The water makes them rusty.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

"Talking border collie for sale at a discount!" Showed the sign on the market. Judy walked there, as she was interested in the joke.
'Are you a talking dog?' she asked the border collie sitting there.
'Yes, I am,' replied the dog.
'Wow, what is your story?' she asked amazed.
The talking border collie looked up and said, 'Well, I was pretty young when I discovered my gift. I wanted to help the government. So I went to the CIA, and in no time I was their secret agent, sitting in rooms with world leader businessmen, politicians, or spies. None of them figured a dog would understand and give away their secrets. I was one of the most valuable spies of the CIA for six years. But this tired me out. I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I started working at the airport to do some undercover security work. I sat or lied near suspicious characters to hear what they plan. I uncovered some outrageous dealings, I even won golden medals. In the meantime I found a wife, we have a bunch of puppies, and now I am just retired.'
Judy was lost for words. She asked the owner what was the price of the dog.
'Twenty dollars,' replied the owner.
'This dog is amazing, how it is possible, do you really selling him for twenty dollars?'
'Oh, yeah, you see, he is such a liar!'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Bobby and his friends from university are out at the local bar. Finally, after too many rounds plus one, Bobby leans over and pukes all over himself.
'Mhaaan, my hooney ish going to killl me! Messy and smelly me,' he blurted.
His friend blurts back, 'Noo problemo, puut 10$ bill in ya pocket, and tell that soomeone else puuked on you. An' gave ya 10$ to dry-cleaninnng.'
'Ooh, that's evil.'
When Bobby goes home, his girlfriend starts screaming, 'You go out with your little friends from university and come back all puked over yourself! Look how disgusting you are! You're a stinky mess!
Bobby opens his mouth, 'Ssome guy, puked all overrr meeh! Even, he gave 10$ to clean it... it dry!'
His girlfriend replies on a cold voice, 'Oh really? Then how come that's a 20$?!'
Bobby proudly replies, 'He... uh... um... um... so... also sshit in my pants!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Two hunters were out in the woods. One of them fell to the ground suddenly. His eyes were rolled up and he didn't seem to be breathing. The other hunter took out out his cell phone to call for help, he had the number of a doctor on the phone.
'My friend is dead! What can I do now?' he said in his fear.
The doctor on the phone tried to help, so he replied in a calm voice, 'Okay, just take it easy. First, let's make sure he's dead.'
There was silence on the phone, then a shot was heard then the hunter's voice came back on the line, 'Okay, now what?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Why do men prefer intelligent wives?
A: Because opposites attract each other.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A pirate walked into a pub where the bartender greeted him, 'Hello, I haven't seen you for ages. What happened, you look terrible!'
'Terrible? Why? I'm fine.'
'Fine? What about that wooden leg?'
'Oh, we fought in a sea battle and a cannon ball hit my leg. The doctor fixed me up, and I'm fine, really.'
'Oh I see. But what about that hook? What happened to your hand?'
Oh, we fought in a sea battle again, I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off. The doctor fixed me up, and I 'm fine now, really.'
'Okay, but what about that eye patch?'
'Oh, one day some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up and one crazy seagull crapped in my eye.'
'No way, you couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird crap.'
'Honestly, I wasn't used to the hook yet.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'I am really sorry to tell you, but you only have half a year to live,' said the doctor to the woman, 'I suggest marrying an economist and move to Nebraska.'
'Doctor, will this cure my illness?'
'No, it won't, but you will feel that this half year is pretty long.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Buy a Nissan and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

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