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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2022. November 27.)
A woman was shopping in a computer discount store. She was looking for something good, still low priced.
'Why are the obsolete models all so expensive?' she asked the salesman.
'Because we have very limited stock of them, you are lucky we even have any,' he replied.
'Very limited stock? I read that all of the manufacturers have an overstock.'
'That is true. There is such a big supply and so little demand, it is not worth it to ship them!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A woman rushed into the Asian grocery store to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line to be quick, where the cashier was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.
'Excuse me,' she said, 'I'm in a hurry. Can you check me out, please?'
The Asian grocery store's cashier looked her up and down carefully and smiled, 'Not bad.'
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(So far it's 3.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

One morning a strict father was trying to wake up his son, 'Wake up now! It's high time to go to school.'
'I want to stay in bed, I don't want to go to school,' the son answered.
His father said, 'Give me then two reasons why you don't want to go to school.'
'OK. Firstly, all the children hate me there. Secondly, all the teachers hate me there.'
'No, these are not good enough,' the strict father replied.
'Fine, fine,' the son replied, 'You give me then two good reasons why I should go to school.'
'Firstly, you are 50 years old. Secondly, you are the principal of that school.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 4 ratings)

A rather depressed student came home from school.
'What's the matter? You seem rather depressed,' said his mother.
'Oh, it's my marks. They're all wet,' he replied.
'What do you mean "all wet"?' asked the mother confused.
'I mean,' he answered, 'below C-level.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

My son was doing a project on 70's rock groups. He had to write an essay, so he asked me to name 2 of them.
'Yes!' I said.
'Who?' he asked.
'There you go,' I replied.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The engineer thinks that his equations are an approximation to reality.
The physicist thinks reality is an approximation to his equations.
The mathematician does not care.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

In the Garden of Eden, Adam called out to God, 'My Lord, I have a problem, please help me.'
'What's the problem, Adam?' God replied.
'My Lord, I know you created me and took care of me in this beautiful garden, but I'm just not happy.'
'Why is that?' God asked.
'My Lord, I am lonely.'
'Well, in that case the "woman" is the solution, I shall create a perfect one for you.'
'What's a "woman", my Lord?'
'The woman is the most beautiful, sensitive, intelligent and caring creature. She will be so smart that she can figure out what you want before you want it. She will be so sensitive and caring that she will know how to make you happy. She will unquestioningly care for your every need and desire. She will be the perfect companion for you,' replied God, and added, 'but to get something, you have to give something. This is going to cost you, Adam. This is business, you know.'
'Are you sure that the "woman" is the solution? How much will this "woman" cost me, my Lord?'
'She'll cost you an arm, a leg, an ear, and an eye.'
Adam was silent for a while, with a look of deep thought and concern on his face.
Finally Adam asked God, 'Okay, but what can I get for a rib?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A man was in no shape to drive after they had a Christmas party at the office. So he wisely decided to leave his car parked and walked home. As he was walking along with uncertain steps, a policeman stopped him.
'What are you doing out here at 3 a.m.?' asked the policeman.
'We had a Christmas party at the office, now I am going to a lecture,' replied the man.
'And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?' asked the policeman.
'My wife,' replied said the man.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A famous magician started to work on a cruise ship with his parrot. The parrot every night stole the show by telling the secrets of the famous magician. One day the cruise ship sank, but luckily they survived in the lifeboat. For a few days, they just sat there looking at each other. The parrot broke the silence finally and said, 'Okay, okay, I give up. What did you do with the ship?'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A: Salad shooter.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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