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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. May 9.)
Q: How can you kill a mother-in-law with a newspaper?
A: Just wrap a toaster in it.

Q: What is the ideal planting depth for "mother-in-law's tongue"?
A: Six feet.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An engineer was looking for a new job for better salary. He was sure he'd have no trouble finding a new position, because there was several engineer job advertisements in the area. He e-mailed cover letters to all the potential employers and attached his CV to each one. Two weeks later, he was dismayed. He had not received even one request for a job interview. Finally he received a message from an employer. It explained a lot:
"Your CV was not attached as stated. However thank you for the list of the boats on sale."
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

When my granddaughter, Samantha was 10 years old, she was given an assignment by her teacher to write a story on "Where my family came from". The purpose was to understand your genetics. I was not aware of her assignment when she asked me before bedtime, 'Grandma, where did I come from?'
'Well, Sammy, the stork brought you.'
'And where did Mommy come from then?'
'The stork brought her, just like you.'
"Okay. Then where did you come from?'
'The stork brought me too.'
'Okay, grandma. Thank you.'
Three days later I was cleaning Samantha's room. I found her first lines on a paper: "There have been no natural births in our family for three generations."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Here are my favorite car bumper stickers:

1: If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
2: WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship
3: Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal!
4: Honk if you wanna see my finger!
5: So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute.
+1: Don't touch me - I am not that kind of a car!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'Mr. Goodman, here is my final consulting report on your company. I have listed all the dead-weight employees, these are the ones who should be fired,' said the freelance HR consultant.
'Mr. Potts, I heard that you are the best freelance HR consultant, and you do not make mistakes, but this is the company directory.'
'Oh, yes, finding that was a great time-saver.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Before going on holiday, I made up my mind and decided to cut my long, curly hair to a very short, holiday hair style, and even shaved on one side. On my first day back at work, I passed my boss on the corridor.
'Did you miss me?' I asked.
'Did I miss you..?' he echoed. 'Who are you?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

No.1: When dad is not looking, pop old recorded football games in the VCR. Make sure it is set to the last minutes of the game. When dad comes into the room, turn off the VCR and turn on the regular TV.
No.2: When everyone says what he or she is thankful for, say, 'I am thankful I didn't get caught.' Refuse to say anything more.
No.3: Bring a date that only talks about the abusive and tragic conditions at turkey farms.
No.4: Take two fully loaded plates to the kitchen, toss it all in the blender. Take your "shake" back to the table. Announce that it is the brand new Thanksgiving Weight-Loss Shake.
No.5: During mid-meal turn to mom and say loudly, 'See Mum, I told you they wouldn't notice that the turkey expired. You were worried for nothing.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A young solo country singer was on his tour. One night he had to stop at a farm, to get some sleep. The farmer's pretty daughter's room was the only available one. As the farmer did not trust the young singer's moral, he ordered his loyal farm hand to wait outside the door with a shotgun and if he heard any sexual noise, shoot the singer. The next morning the solo country singer quickly left the house. The farmer was very proud of his wit.
'So, that young singer did not try anything with you, right?' he asked.
'Oh, no he did not,' answered the girl. 'At night our loyal farm hand put on my night gown, gave me his shotgun, and told me to wait in the corridor making sure the guy stays in the room until morning!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What do you find in a clean nose?
A: Fingerprints.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A married couple was trying to live a snobbish lifestyle. They went to a party, where they joined a conversation. The topic turned to Bach.
'Absolutely genius, magnificent, gorgeous!' they said.
The woman wanted to add something, so remarked casually, 'Oh, the brilliant Bach! You are so right. Only this morning I saw him getting on the No. 11 bus going to Coney Island.'
There was a sudden hush, everyone looked at her. Her husband went pale.
'We're leaving right now. Get your bag and let's get out of here,' he said as he pulled her out.
On their way home, he kept muttering to himself.
Eventually his wife turned to him, 'Why are you so angry?'
'Oh, honey, I've never been so embarrassed in my whole life! You saw the brilliant Bach take the No. 11 bus to Coney Island? Really? Don't you know the No. 11 bus does not go out to Coney Island?
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