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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. September 18.)
A man threw himself on a grave in his grief. He cried bitterly, 'My life, oh how painful is it! How worthless everything around me, because you are gone. If only you had lived, if only fate had not been so cruel as to take you from this world, how everything would have been different!'
A clergyman nearby saw him being on the emotional roller coaster and said, 'I see the person lying beneath was somebody of great importance to you.'
'Importance? Indeed it was,' cried the man. 'It's my wife's first husband!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Little Richie wanted be be a cowboy. He lacked any cowboy skills, but he was eager to learn. Taking pity on him, a farmer decided to give him a chance.
'This is a lariat, we use this to catch cows.' he explained.
'I see,' said Little Richie, trying to seem he has some cowboy skills as he examined the lariat. 'And what do you use for bait?'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's Day?' asked the Boy Monster.
'Yes, I did,' replied the Girl Monster.
'Is it still beating?' asked the Boy Monster.
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How to read between the lines of a dating profile and find your future wife? Here is the smart men's dating guide:

Adventurer = Has had more partners than you ever will
Wants Soulmate = One step away from stalking
Affectionate = Possessive
Romantic = Looks better by candle light
Artist = Unreliable
Self-employed = Jobless
Beautiful = Liar
Stable = Boring
Educated = College dropout
Spiritual = Involved with a cult
Emotionally Secure means = Medicated
Open-minded = Desperate
Enjoys opera and art = Snob
Fun = Annoying
Enjoys Nature =: Bring your own granola
Intuitive = Your opinion doesn't count
Exotic Beauty = Would frighten the bugbear
Free spirit = Substance abuser
Loves Travel = If you're paying
Loves Animals = Cat lady
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We were asked to write down our answers to a few questions at my sociology class.
'Next question,' continued the instructor. 'How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?'
I was about to write my answer when a young blonde next to me asked, 'How do you spell "intellectual"?'
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A doctor, a priest and an engineer were waiting for a particularly slow group on the golf course.
'What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 20 minutes! This slow play on the golf course is unacceptable.' said the engineer.
'I don't know, but I've never seen such a slow play!' said the doctor.
'I'm gonna ask Hector, the caddie,' said the priest. So they went to him.
'Hey, Hector, what's with that slow group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
'Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our golf course and clubhouse from a fire last year, so they can play here for free anytime,' replied Hector.
The group was silent for a moment.
'That is so sad, I will say a special prayer for them tonight,' said the priest.
'I'm going to contact my friend, who is an ophthalmologist and see if there's anything he can do for them,' said the doctor.
'Why cannot they play at night?' asked the engineer.
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Like all the teenage boys, my grandson was constantly hungry. I went to the kitchen to find something he might like. After opening the fridge, searching around a bit and moving the juice cartons, I spotted a bowl of leftover chili con carne. I called out to him excitedly. He came running.
'Look! I found some chili con carne!'
Struggling to be polite, he said, 'Well, if you are that surprised, I am not really sure I want to eat it.'
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A wealthy lawyer spent four weeks every year in his luxury treehouse in the hills. Every summer, he invited one of his friends to stay with him for a couple of days. One summer he invited a Czech friend to visit him. They spent a wonderful time there, getting up early every morning and enjoying the great outdoors.
One morning, as they were picking some berries for their breakfast under the house, two huge bears, a male and a female, approached them. The lawyer had time to run for cover, but his friend wasn't so lucky. The male bear swallowed him whole. Seeing this, the lawyer ran to his Jeep and raced to the town to get the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and they raced back with the lawyer. Luckily, the bears were still under the luxury tree house.
'He is in that one!' yelled the lawyer, pointing at the male.
The sheriff looked at the bears, leveled his shotgun, took careful aim, and shot the female bear.
'Why did you do that?!' exclaimed the lawyer, 'I said he was in the other bear!'
'Indeed. Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the male?'
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If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
Anything that begins fine will end badly. The converse of this law is not true.
In every hierarchy, each person tends to rise to the level of his or her incompetence.
Whoever has any authority over you, will attempt to use it.
Do not let any mechanical object realize that you are in a hurry. On your way, all the tools will strike your toes and knees.
Technology is dominated by two types of people. Those who manage what they do not understand, and those who understand what they do not manage.
Adding manpower to an innovative technology project only makes a delay.
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Q: How do you teach a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to pollytechnic.
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