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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. January 20.)
A counterfeiter decided to get rid of his phony bill of $24. He wanted to unload it in some rural town, so he drove until the first one, which had only one small grocery store. He entered, and handed the phony bill to the cashier.
'Could you please change this for me?'
The cashier looked at the bill then smiled at the man, 'Sure, would you prefer two $12 bills or four $6 bills?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An old farmer was sitting in his rocking chair on his terrace. He was holding a small piece of rope.
He had a guest, a city man, who asked, 'What's the use of that rope?'
The old farmer replied, 'It's for weather forecasting.'
'How can you use that for weather forecasting?' asked the city man.
'It's easy. When it swings from side to side, it is windy, and when it's wet, it is raining.'
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A zookeeper hurries to the three boys who are standing near the tiger's cage.
'What are you up to?' he asks.
The first boy replies, 'My name is Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the tiger.'
The second boy replies, 'My name is Joe and I was trying to feed peanuts to the tiger.'
The third boy says, 'My name is Peanuts.'
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(So far it's 4.33 point, based on 3 ratings)

The husband left the snowy streets of Portland for a vacation in California. His wife was planning to join him next day. When he reached their hotel, he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. Unfortunately, he addressed it to some other e-mail account, and an elderly woman received it, whose husband passed away two days before. She screamed and fell to the floor in a dead faint. Her son rushed into the living room and saw the e-mail on the screen:
"Dearest Wife, I checked-in. For your arrival, everything is prepared. See you tomorrow! P.S. No doubt, hot down here."
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

What he says: You will get this one, next round is on me.
What he means: We won't be here long enough to get another round.

What he says: I will get this one, next round is on you.
What he means: Happy hour is about to end.

What he says: I'm out of here, I have to work early in the morning.
What he means: I owe that guy who just walked in $200 and have been avoiding him since football season.

What he says: What do you have on tap?
What he means: What is cheap?
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

'Lulu, in the park this morning I was surrounded by lions!'
'Lance, surrounded by lions, in the park?'
'Well, dandelions!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

This drunk fellow was stumbling down the street with one foot on the sidewalk and one foot in the ditch.
A policeman pulled him up and said, 'Sir, I'm gonna take you in. You are drunk, you cannot deny it.'
The wasted fellow asked, 'Uhm, officer, are you sure I'm drunk...?'
'Yes, buddy,' he said, 'I am totally sure about that. Let's go.'
'Oh, that's a huge relief, you know. I thought I was a cripple.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Q: What kind of fish do dogs catch?
A: Catfish.
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
July!
July who?
July to me about stealing my pencil?
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

An old man was eating in a diner. Three wild motocross riders marched in. As they passed the old man, the first pushed his cigarette into the old man's boiled eggs, then laughed harshly and took a seat at the counter. The second motocross rider picked up the old man's milkshake and spit into it. The third poured the salt into his coffee before joining the others at the counter. Without saying a word to the laughing mob, the old man put his money down, and left the diner.
One of the riders said to the waitress, 'Not much of a man, was he?'
The waitress answered, 'Not much of a truck driver either apparently. He just went over three motorcycles with his truck!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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