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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. September 25.)
According the latest news I heard on TV, healthy eating does not have to be troublesome. Nutritionists claimed it is easy to say if you follow healthy eating rules or not. It is all about colors. Fill your plates with many bright colors: reds, yellows, greens.
I did that exactly this morning. I had an entire bowl of M&M's. It was fantastic! I wouldn't have thought that healthy eating could be so easy!
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

There was a mouse and a cat, who went to heaven.
After a while God asked the mouse, 'So, how do you like it up here?'
The mouse replied, 'It's really nice, but could I get a skateboard?'
'Sure, here you are,' said God and gave the skateboard to the mouse.
The next day, God asked the cat, 'How do you like it up here?'
The cat replied, 'It's really great! I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Work - It isn't just for sleeping anymore.
Succeed in spite of management.
If you can read this, you are not working.
If you do a good job and work hard, you might get a new job at a better company someday.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid now.
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.
Well, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.
Hang in there, retirement is only twenty years away!
If you think we are a bad company, you should see our rivals.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Three days without human rights violation!
The person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
Pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for free.
Never quit until you have another job.
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

The other day I drove through the red light. At court I told the judge that I was a teacher, and asked my case to be heard immediately so I could get back to my class. A wild shine came into the judge's eye.
He said, 'Madam, I have waited so many years to have a teacher in this court. Sit down at that table now, and write: "I drove through the red light!" 200 times.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A car mechanic was working late under a car one day. Some brake fluid dripped into his mouth.
'Wow!' he exclaimed, 'That stuff tastes good!'
Next day, he told his friend about how good was the taste of the brake fluid, and that he was drinking a small cup of it after lunch. His friend was a little concerned but did not say anything. Next day the car mechanic decided to drink a pint. The day after that he drank a full bottle of the brake fluid. His friend was now really worried.
'You should know that the brake fluid is not healthy, it is a poison. It is really really bad for you. You had better stop drinking that!'
'Hey, don't worry, I simply like the taste of the brake fluid,' replied the car mechanic, 'and I can stop any time!'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A horse walks into a pub and asks, 'Got any carrots?'
The bartender is confused, but answers the horse that no, they don't serve carrots. The horse thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the horse returns and asks, 'Got any carrots?'
Again, the bartender replies that, no, they do not serve carrots. Furthermore, have never served carrots, and will never serve carrots. The horse, a little disappointed, thanks him and leaves.
The next day, the horse returns, but before he could say anything, the bartender begins to yell, 'Listen, horse! This is a pub! We do not serve carrots! If you ever ask for carrots again, I will take your horseshoes off and nail them to the wall!'
The horse is silent for a moment, but then asks, 'Got any hammers?'
Confused, the bartenders answers no.
'Good.' says the horse. 'Got any carrots?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Two squirrels were jumping together in the forest. The first one saw a nut, 'Oh, look! There is a nut on the ground!'
The second squirrel jumped there and said, 'It is my nut!'
The first jumped there, too, and said, 'That is not fair, this is mine because I saw it first!'
The second squirrel argued, 'You may have seen it first, but I have it now.'
At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up from nowhere and said, 'You two, do not fight over a nut. Let me resolve this dispute.'
The two squirrels nodded.
The lawyer squirrel said, 'OK, give me the nut.' He broke the nut in half, and handed one half to the first and one half to the second squirrel. 'See? Now the dispute is resolved without any fight.'
Then he reached over and said, 'Now, I am taking the meat, which is my fee.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Yo Mama's so chubby, she has more chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Two famous warriors, a general and an admiral were fishing together. A sudden squall came up, and when it died down both famous warriors were struggling clumsily in the water.
The admiral managed to pull himself back into the boat after his helpless gasps. Using an oar he could help out the general.
'If the sea force found I can't swim I'd be disgraced. Please, please, don't say a word about this accident to anyone,' begged the admiral.
'Your secret is safe. Do not worry,' the general replied, 'I would hate to have my men find out I cannot walk on water.'
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A six-year-old girl and her mother stood in front of a dental centre poster.
'If I had to have false teeth, Mommy, I would take that pair,' pointed the girl.
'Hush, Maggie,' said the mother quickly, shaking her arm, 'I told you it's not polite to pick your teeth in public!'
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