Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: Home
Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. December 9.)
Jimmy and Joanna got married. On their honeymoon car trip they were driving to Seattle, when Jimmy put his hand on Joanna's knee. Joanna giggled and said, 'Jimmy, you can go a little farther if you want to!'
So Jimmy drove to Vancouver.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Here are my favorite car bumper stickers:

1: If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!
2: WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship
3: Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal!
4: Honk if you wanna see my finger!
5: So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute.
+1: Don't touch me - I am not that kind of a car!
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The middle-aged man was shaking after the doctor set up the diagnosis. He had a terminal disease, which left him with only four months. The doctor advised him to live life to the fullest.
'What will you do during the last months?' asked him.
The man was thinking, but soon he answered, 'I will live with my mother-in-law'.
The doctor was surprised, 'Of all the people, why would you live with your mother-in-law? I have just suggested to live life to the fullest.'
The man was determined, 'Because those will be the longest four months of my life!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The U. S. Government decided to collect data on what people say right before they get into a car accident.
89% of the people in 49 states said: "Oh, shit!"
In Texas 94% said: "Hold my beer. Watch this."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

Jeff went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I want to be castrated.'
'Oh, I don't know what your motives are or what kind of cult you are into, but I will not make an exception, I do not agree with that sort of operation,' answered the doctor.
'You know, I'm a little embarrassed about talking about it,' replied Jeff, 'I just want to be castrated. I can give you $6500 in cash right now. Will you do it, can you make an exception?'
The doctor answered, 'I guess I could make this one exception, only for you. I don't understand it, but alright, as you wish.'
The operation was done and Jeff woke up.
'Everything went fine, it is a quite simple operation,' started the doctor, 'as a matter of fact, $6500 is way too much for it. So, when I noticed that you had never been circumcised, I went ahead and did that, too. In my opinion, it's better for a man to be circumcised, I hope you don't mind my...'
'Circumcised!' yelled Jeff, 'That's the word!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

"Have you heard about the new cheese tasting restaurant in Israel?"
"Yes, it's name is Cheeses of Nazareth."
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 4 ratings)

You know you are Italian when:

1. You can bench press 300 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

2. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 sandwiches, pizzelles, 3 bananas, 3 oranges into a regular lunch bag.

3. Your plumber, lawyer, electrician, mechanic, travel agent and accountant are all your cousins.

4. You have at least four cousins living in the same town or street. And all four of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

5. There are more than 25 people in your bridal party.

6. You netted more than $40,000 on your first communion.

7. Your mom's meatballs are the best.

8. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

9. Plastic on the furniture is normal.

10. Only fish on Christmas Eve.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head?
A: DUG
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Signs showing that you have had enough of the new millennium:

- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now sells for half the price you paid.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from Central Asia, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
- The concept of using cash, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is strange for you.
- You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have social media accounts.
- You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.
- You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.


What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: What you have to give to a sick bird?
A: Tweetment.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Dedicated Republican
10)Very Fast Country
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!