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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2020. December 2.)
A six-year-old girl and her mother stood in front of a dental centre poster.
'If I had to have false teeth, Mommy, I would take that pair,' pointed the girl.
'Hush, Maggie,' said the mother quickly, shaking her arm, 'I told you it's not polite to pick your teeth in public!'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Parsley!
Parsley who?
Parsley the sauce, please!
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

It was the first day of school after the summer vacation. As a school bus driver it was time to pick up the children and take them home. At the end, somehow one little girl remained on the bus. Thinking she had missed her stop, I started driving slowly back and asked her to let me know if any of the houses looked familiar. The girl sat smiling in the yellow school bus and shook her head whenever I asked her if she recognized a house. I decided to go back to the school and ask for her address. When we arrived, she got off the bus and started walking away.
'Wait! We have to go inside to find out your address!'
'I live right there,' she answered, pointing to a house across the street, 'but I always wanted a ride on a yellow school bus.'
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(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Q: If you have a UVA football player and a Virginia Tech football player in the same car at the same time, who drives?
A: The state trooper.
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(So far it's 3.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

An elderly gentleman had an appointment to see a urologist. The waiting room was filled with other patients. He went directly to the reception desk. The receptionist was a massive, middle-aged woman who looked like a wrestler. He gave her his name. In a very loud voice the receptionist said, 'YES, I FOUND YOUR NAME HERE. YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'
All of the patients turned their head around to look at the very embarrassed man. He recovered quickly though, and in an equally loud voice answered, 'NO, I HAVE COME TO GET INFO ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION AND I WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS!'
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

A young punk and his dog walk into a pub. The punk announces, 'I will bet you a round of drinks that my dog can talk.'
'Yes, sure. Then please be welcomed and go ahead,' says the bartender ironically.
'Okay, you will see. Dog, what covers a house?'
'Roof!'
'How does sandpaper feel?'
'Rough!'
'Who was the greatest baseball player of all time?'
'Ruth!'
The young punk turns to the bartender, 'Pay up, man. See, my dog can talk.'
The bartender, annoyed at this point, throws both of them out of the pub. Sitting on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says, 'or is the greatest baseball player Willie Mays...?'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 3 ratings)

A drunk man is lurching in the street, and suddenly he is hit by a passing car.
The driver steps on the brakes with two legs, jumps out and looks back at the drunk man.
'You fool, look out!'
The drunk raises his hand and asks, 'Why? Are you gonna back up?'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

'Doctor, doctor! Help me! I keep seeing little white things before my eyes.'
'I understand. Have you seen a doctor before?'
'No, just little white things.'
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

There was a woman who wanted bigger boobs. She went to her doctor, Dr. Yuzu, and asked him about breast implants.
'Before you do anything serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients. This is an effective breast implant alternative. Every morning when you wake up in your bed, rub your boobs and say: "Scooobie dooobie, give me bigger boobies!"' he suggested.
She did this faithfully for six months and when she noticed that they actually were getting bigger, she was very happy that she started this breast implant alternative.
One morning she woke up late, so she was in a hurry. By the time she got on the train she realized that she forgot to rub her boobs.
So as she was sitting on the train, she started to rub her boobs, saying, 'Scooobie dooobie, give me bigger boobies!'
The man standing next to her asked, 'Hey, do you know Dr. Yuzu?'
'Yes, how did you know?' she said.
'Hickory, dickory dock!' he replied.
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

An American tourist was in Moscow for a week. He had to get rid of a large bag of garbage from his an apartment. He searched and searched, but didn't find any place to the large bag of garbage. Finally he decided to go down one of the side streets to dump it there.
Yet, he was stopped by a Moscow police officer.
'Hey you, what are you doing?'
'Hello, I have to throw this garbage away,' answered the tourist.
'Oh, look, you can't throw it away here. Follow me,' the policeman offered.
He led the tourist to a beautiful garden with green grass, colorful flowers, and freshly cut hedges.
'Here you can dump it.'
The American shrugged and threw his large bag of garbage.
'Thank you officer. This is very nice of you. Is this Russian courtesy?' asked the tourist.
'No. This is American Embassy.'
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(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

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