Funny Jokes
⭐ Add JokestJokes.com to your Favorites! (Press CTRL+D)
📧 Get the best jokes every week by e-mail! It's free! (Click!)
🎁Are you a webmaster? Make your visitors happy with a free
Joke of the Day Box! (Click!)
Joke, Jokes, Fun
Joke Newsletter
You will get the best jokes of every week by e-mail!
It will be great, you need this!
E-mail:
  I have read and accept the Privacy Policy.
Joke Categories
ALL JokesAnimalBarBlondeBusinessCarChildrenComputerCriminalDoctorFarmerFoodKnock KnockLawyerMarriageMilitaryMother in LawOfficePolicePoliticalPunsSchoolSportsTravelWorkplaceYo MamaOther
You are here: Home
Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
The jokes are here right now. Have a great laugh!
(Last joke update: 2021. May 16.)
The Bible school teacher took over a class. He asked little Linda, 'Who broke down the walls of Jericho?'
Little Linda replied, 'It wasn't me, I swear!'
The teacher was taken aback by the lack of basic Bible knowledge. He went to the school principal and informed him about what had just happened.
The principal replied, 'I know Little Linda very well. She and her whole family is reliable. If she said that she did not do it, then I, as principal, know that this is the truth.'
Outraged, the teacher went to the regional dead of education. There he also told the story.
After listening the regional head replied, 'I cannot see why you are making such a big hassle out of this. Simply go, get three quotes and fix that wall!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Elly!
Elly who?
Elly-mentary, Mr. Watson!
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

The high school principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use red lipstick. In the bathrooms they left lip prints on the mirror each and every day. So he spoke to the teachers and asked them for help. They agreed and spoke to the girls, but the situation did not improve. He even called a few of the girls' parents, but there were still lip prints on the mirror every day.
Eventually, he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore the red lipstick. Then he took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off. The young girls were smiling at each other, all nodding, but smirking to one another. The principal then asked the janitor, who was also present, to demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors.
The janitor took a long handled brush, put it into the toilet bowl and forcefully rubbed the lipstick off the mirror with that. After this day the lip prints did not appeared on the mirrors.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4.67 point, based on 3 ratings)

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Oslo!
Oslo who?
Oslo down, what's the hurry?
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Signs of being in huge trouble:

1. They pay your wages out of petty cash.
2. You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of the city.
3. Your accountant's letter of resignation is postmarked Panama.
4. Your suggestion box starts ticking.
5. Your secretary tells you the NYPD is on line 1, the FBI is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

A talented Israeli soldier was accepted to the army. He asked the commanding officer for a 4-day pass after two days.
Of course the CO refused, 'Are you crazy? You have just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 4-day pass? You must do something grand for that recognition!'
The Israeli soldier went away, but next day he came back in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he let the soldier get his 4-day pass.
The other were more than curious, they envied the new guy and asked, 'How did you do it?'
'Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border. There I saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, and the Arab tank put his white flag up, too. I said to the Arab soldier: "Do you want to get a 4-day pass?" So we exchanged tanks!'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

Q: Have you heard about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: Yes. She missed.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 1 ratings)

I was volunteering one summer at the Boy Scout Council office. One day, a NATO professional staff member talked about the NATO phonetic alphabet in the camp. She was casually dressed, not in her usual uniform.
She said that she had learned it some years ago and started to recite it.
'Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, ...'
When she got to the letter "U" she had to think for a while and asked for help.
I offered her a hint, 'What aren't you wearing today?'
'Underwear?' she replied.
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

One guy told his buddy, 'You won't believe what happened last night!'
'Well then, tell me what happened last night?'
'The doorbell rang, I opened my door, and there was my ex-mother-in-law! She asked if she could stay there for a few days.'
'And what did you say?'
'I said: "Of course, you can". Then I shut the door.'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Around Christmas time a mother was giving directions to her daughter who was coming to visit with her significant other. 'I am in apartment 6C. You come to the front door of the apartment complex. There is a big panel at the entrance. With your elbow push button 6C and I will let you inside. The elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow push 6. When you get out I am on the right. With your elbow, push my doorbell.'
'That sounds easy,' replied the daughter, 'but why do I have to hit all these buttons with my elbow?'
'You aren't coming empty handed, are you?'
What is your opinion of this joke? Rate it!
Worst :  
  : Best
(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

Next 10 Jokes   >

Joke of the Day
You can have a Joke of the Day box on your website, too!
(This one right above!)
It's free and good for you! You only need to insert a short HTML code into your website and the Joke of the Day will appear there right away! (Every day a new joke totally automatically, maintenance free.) (Details...)
TOP 10 Jokes
1)Chinese Laundry
2)Large Bag of Garbage
3) God Create Brunettes
4)Loan Officer
5)Don't Drive in Texas
6)Sculptures on Display
7)The Boss
8)Between Us
9)Copy Machine Is Out of Order
10)Dedicated Republican
Best Jokes
(Joke Toplist)
Send Us a Joke!
Do you know a good joke?
Send it to us so we can put it on the website for everybody to read and laugh! It will be great!