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Our editors who have great sense of humor are collecting the best jokes since August of 1862, so for now we have more than 1458343 jokes on our webpage! (Yes, onemillion-fourhundred-fifty-eight-thousand-three hundred-forty-three!)
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(Last joke update: 2021. April 21.)
The hiking centre asked the guests to write some guestbook messages. They did:
"Too many rocks in the mountains."
"Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."
"Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill."
"Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them."
"Too many bugs, spiders and spider webs. Please spray the forest and get rid off those pests."
"The wolves made too much noise last night. It kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals."
"Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 20 feet so people can hike at night without flashlights."
"Need more signs to keep area pristine."
"The places where trails do not exist are not well marked."
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(So far it's 4.5 point, based on 2 ratings)

Never miss an opportunity. Give 100% at work.
20% Monday
22% Tuesday
18% Wednesday
30% Thursday
10% Friday
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1st Business fact: Logic is the systematic method of coming to the incorrect conclusions with confidence.
2nd Business fact: Everybody lies. Anyway, it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.
3rd Business fact: "n+1" trivial tasks take twice as long as "n" trivial tasks.
4th Business fact: The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density of control. In other words, the fewer the data points, the smoother the curves.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 2 ratings)

A blonde needed money desperately. To get some cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a tree, and told him, 'I've kidnapped you!'
She then wrote a big red note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow at noon, put $25,000 in a bag and leave it under the highest tree at the playground. Signed, A blonde."
Then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home. The next morning the blonde checked, and a bag was there, beneath the highest tree. She looked in the bag and found the $25,000 with a note: "How could you kidnap a child of a fellow blonde?"
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Free to take:
Full set of Encyclopedia Britannica
Reason:
No longer need them, as wife knows everything.
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On a transatlantic flight, a plane passed through a harsh storm. The turbulence was terrible, and things went even worse when one wing was struck by lightning. One woman in particular lost it.
In her fear, she stood up screaming, 'I'm too young to die! I want my last minutes on Earth to be special! I've had a lot of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a real woman! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a real woman?'
For a moment, there was silence. Everyone was staring at her.
Then, a man stood up. He was tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and black eyes. He started to walk slowly to the woman, unbuttoning his shirt.
The woman was breathing heavily as the stranger approached.
He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest as he reached her.
He extended his arm holding his shirt to the woman, and said, 'Iron this!'
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Q: What do you do when a man steals your wife?
A: Well, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Q: What's new?
A: Most of my wife.

Why bother with marriage? It is so simple. Just find a woman you hate and buy her a house.

This delivery driver carries no money. His wife has it all.
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Software testing steps:

Alpha testing:
First step in getting user feedback.
Alpha is Latin for: "doesn't work."

Beta testing:
Shortly before it is released.
Beta is Latin for: "still doesn't work."

Scheduled release date:
A delicately chosen date determined by estimating the actual shipping date and subtracting nine months from it.
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(So far it's 4 point, based on 3 ratings)

A photographer, who was specialized in nature photography, was asked to take some spectacular pictures of a forest fire. He was advised that a plane would wait him and would fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the meeting point. Sure enough, a small plane was waiting there. He jumped in with his special equipment and shouted, 'Let's start!'
The tense man, who was sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were up in the air. The plane was shaking.
'Fly over the east side of the fire,' said the photographer, 'and make some low-level passes.'
'Why?' asked the nervous pilot.
'Because I'm specialized in nature photography and I am willing to take close-up pictures!' yelled the photographer.
The pilot replied, 'Are you saying that you're not the flight instructor?'
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Q: Do you know what the difference is between a lawyer and a leech?
A: The leech stops sucking you dry after you are dead.
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